


Until They Do

by maladaptivewaking



Category: Dair - Fandom, Gossip Girl
Genre: Banter, Ceceisalive, DanisnotGossipGirl, IhateChuck, InvisibleString, LightAcademiaAesthetic, Multichapter, Other, Postseason5episode25, SerenaandDandidnotsleeptogether, UntilTheyDo, Wedding, canondivergent, dair - Freeform, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 65,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maladaptivewaking/pseuds/maladaptivewaking
Summary: After five years apart, Blair and Dan reunite at a wedding. While they navigate their current relationship, they examine it over the past few years.Out in the real world, they don't end up together, but this will have to be enough until they do.
Relationships: DanandBlair, dair
Comments: 32
Kudos: 48





	1. Yet Again

**Until They Do**

They first see each other about a million times.

Each time he gets distracted, stopping to stumble away from life,

And there she is, blinding and beautiful, basically glowing—

Ready to distract him.

Each time he catches her eye and demands to be tantalized,

And each time she does just that.

He always stares at her straight on when she’s not looking, as if she has an entire inventory of other things to be thinking about. None of those things ever seem to be about him.

She always sees him in the corner of her eye and it makes her mad, crazy even how easily he disappears from her peripheral vision.

It’s always the same.

Dan looking at Blair,

Blair looking at Dan,

Neither one noticing the other’s gaze—

Until they do.

**Part I**

**“Yet Again”**

**Present**

Waking up in London was starting to get old, Dan thought, opening his eyes to yet another misty August morning. As he rolled off his bed, doing his best not to wake his girlfriend Mei, he almost smacked himself. He was among one of the luckiest people on Earth to get up with a roof over his head and a job too. He suspected that after so many years on the Upper East Side, he had forgotten that. He shook his head. How stupid was he to have cared what those spoiled brats thought?

He stretched, cracking a constantly tense muscle in his lower back, and headed into the shower.

When he emerged, curls dripping, and a towel around his waist, Mei had already gotten up to make breakfast. He loved how their routine had become a race. One of them would always try to beat the other to cooking or making the bed. He wasn’t sure if Mei saw it that way, but he did.

“Good morning,” he whispered into the top of her head before sitting next to her at the counter.

Distractedly, she yawned, “morning.”

“I could’ve made breakfast. I know how much you miss my world-famous waffles.”

With a delayed chuckle, Mei popped a blueberry into her mouth. “Mm, I really don’t. I literally just got you to go vegan.”

Dan’s eyes basically bulged out his head as he gulped down his coffee. He cleared his throat.

“Yeah, about that…”

“Dan!”

“I know, I know, but there was this curry, and Frank and I went for drinks…”

Mei quieted him with a peck on the lips, “fine, poison yourself,” and without another word, she got up to get ready.

Dan, not wanting this to come up later, pulled her in between his spread legs. He wrapped his arms around her and sloppily kissed her neck. Expecting a light-hearted laugh, he was disappointed when she simply pushed him off, and stomped away, grumbling about his saliva. Dan sighed. She must be in a mood, he decided.

Dan had met Mei about a year after he had gone to Rome. Becoming tired with all things that reminded him of a certain ex-girlfriend, he travelled to London, and sort of just stayed there. The smog and inventory of rude people reminded him of the New York he had grown up in. He took a year off from college and got used to a life of scraping by and waiting tables. Despite that life being taxing, and at some points down right traumatizing, it was the happiest he had been in a long time. Somehow, taking a break from his old life of blended families, diabolical schemes, and Gossip Girl meant he could just be “Dan”; not “Lonely Boy” or “Humdrum Humphrey” as many had so lovingly put it. It was good.

Things really started to look up when he met Mei. He had just enrolled in Cambridge, trading in his tattered waiter’s salary dreads for dark academia button-ups and trousers. It was only appropriate that he would meet Mei on a train, reading the same book he was. Admittedly, Dan was texting his dad furiously about Jenny behind the same book, but as far as he was concerned, it was still in the stars that they would meet. They locked eyes, and since then, Mei had represented everything good about his life in London. She was from Singapore, and had immigrated there to work for a broadcasting company. Needless to say, the woman was smart as all hell, and didn’t mind going toe to toe with Dan if he ever tried to debate a lofty subject. She was a year older than Dan, which all the more rationalized Dan’s letting her take care of him. He realized he often turned away help. He had always sacrificed himself to aid everyone else, and it was refreshing to find someone who looked after him, however tedious it might’ve been sometimes. He hated to admit it, because it was too much pressure to put on a person, but he was starting to think Mei made him better. She scolded him on being too much of an intellectual snob, making him more appealing to his friends at his job, and she was usually the one to peel him off the curb after the few and far apart wild nights he had with Frank. Frank was an old-ish friend from his time as a broke waiter, and although he was completely terrible for Dan’s health, he didn’t mind keeping the guy around. He was fun, and Dan had forgotten how to do “fun” for quite some time.

Dan headed out for the day, bounding down the steps. His shiny, brown loafers almost made him tumble down to his demise, and he cursed the beautiful fashion item Mei forced him to wear. Secretly, he did miss some things from his past life. He missed his old white Nikes, always covered in dirt, and his reliable black shoes that had a worn heel and were still the most comfortable things on Earth. He shifted his messenger bag over to his other shoulder and came into the lobby. He lived in an old, Victorian Brownstone with a single staircase going up to the apartments and a small lobby that was only occupied by sticky black and white tile floors and a few gold-plated mail-boxes.

Realizing he was going to miss his train to work, he quickly opened up his mailbox and grabbed a stack of envelopes. Finally having a day or two off, he and Mei had basically stayed inside, ignoring each other for Netflix and, in turn, ignoring their mail. He stuffed the stack into his back pocket and ran out onto the street, facing the misty morning that had now turned into a rainy one.

Finally, after dodging a few rogue taxi cabs and annoyed elderly people, Dan reached the train with about a second to spare. Slick with rain, he used his free hand, the other clutching onto a pole due to the limited available seats, to grab an old sweater from his bag. As he dried his face a bit of metal scraped against his eyebrow. He examined it and saw it was a tag reading, “Ralph Lauren”. Even if he hadn’t only been buying from thrift shops for the good part of four years, he would’ve known the sweater wasn’t something he would buy himself. Exhaling, he pressed it to his cheek once more, and then balled it up, sticking it back in his bag. Feeling a little solemn, and not at all interested in talking to the man next to him, he put in his earbuds and hit shuffle on his phone. A Radiohead song began to play. It seemed to taunt him. He always heard her voice in Radiohead.

“Jesus, what is up with this day?” Dan murmured. However irritated he was with the song, he let it play.

Suddenly, he became acutely aware of the envelopes in his back pocket. One arm hooked around the pole, he took out the papers and flipped through them. Most were mundane things; a postcard from Jenny, a small royalty check from his most recent book of short stories, and an ad for some Thai food place. But, among the mail, right at the bottom, was a smooth, pink envelope. It smelled strongly of lavender that might’ve been stale or left out for too long, if that’s possible. It was addressed from Italy; Tuscany to be exact. Dan furrowed his eyebrows, slipped the rest of the mail into his bag and ripped the envelope open, tucking his thumb under the flap.

It was a wedding invitation, and attached to it was a letter:

You are cordially invited to a spiritual retreat at the Van der Woodsen Khumalo estate in Tuscany. There, you will witness the marital union of Serena van der Woodsen and Amahle Khumalo on August 30, 2017.

All expenses are accounted and paid for.

Dan,

I know we haven’t kept up with each other as we should, so this may all come as a surprise to you. I’m in love with Amahle, and as we face this insane world, we decided we just couldn’t wait to get married. I know this all might be too much, but I am so happy and I would be even happier if you came. I understand we haven’t been the best step-siblings to one another, that being my fault more than anyone’s, but over these past few years I feel that’s changing. I talk to Jenny everyday now, and even if you get grumpy and decide not to come home, I always send you (and Mei) a Christmas card. My dad was never around, so I’ve never really had a handle on having men in my life consistently. That is, until you and Rufus came along. And I’ll be so mad at you if Rufus walks me down the aisle, and you’re not at the end standing next to all of the groomsmen, as you should be. Plus, I think it’ll be good for you to get away from dreary London and come to Tuscany. It’s so beautiful here, and we’re basically paying for a two-week long vacation for you and Mei.

Just come Dan.

All my love, Serena

  
Dan only read a few snippets of the letter; “Serena….married…groomsmen…something about Christmas.” It wasn’t lost on him that he hadn’t been the most family-oriented person in the past few years. He did the occasional dash to the post office to send Lily and Rufus something for their endless anniversaries, called Eric to check in, and sent a random text to Jenny on particularly slow work days. Hell, even after everything that happened with Serena, he allowed her to email him about the latest gossip in her life. Apparently, now, she was in a cult somewhere in Italy about to marry a woman. He had to admit, it was very on brand for Serena. Knowing all of this was okay for Dan, but being there would be a completely different story. It was one thing to read the gossip column and another to live in it. He had tried his hardest to distance himself from that world, from her world. God, he couldn’t even begin to imagine what she must be thinking about all of this. He imagined her face hearing the news of Serena’s newest impulsive adventure; no doubt stone cold, yet scrunched up…

***

**September, 2007**

…lips pursed, and eyebrows raised; that was all he knew about Blair Waldorf. The trust fund she had tied to her was made obvious by the flashy brunch and the fact that she was now sitting at a lounge bar without so much as a word from any adults.

It was nearing the late afternoon, and everyone had left. Dan was supposed to have left too, having stormed away from Serena after learning about her past with Nate, but he couldn’t, which made the entire day infinitely more embarrassing than it already was. He had dropped his wallet in his little scuff with Chuck, and in that wallet, were his metro card and what few dollar bills he had. Now it was lost, probably stolen as things usually go in New York. He would’ve called his dad, even if he would have to explain what he was still doing on the Upper East Side, but his phone was basically dead. Dan was stranded, so he sucked up his judgements and reservations, and approached the only person he recognized. Blair Waldorf.

“Uh, hey…Blair?” He didn’t know why he was acting like he had forgotten her name. It was overly distinct.

Blair turned and her eyes widened. “I am going to scream…”

“What? No, I’m—“

“You’re Dan Humphrey; Serena’s newest stalker. I knew there was something off,” she started to gather her things and motioned to the bar tender for the check. “Seriously, where does she find you people…?”

“You people?!” Dan said, baffled. Of course she had to be an elitist.

“Yes, skeevy men from God knows where…”

Even better, she was taking him for some creepy, psycho stalker. “Was it my jeans that gave it away?” Dan thought, gritting his teeth. The girl was right out of a badly written Lifetime thriller.

“We go to the same school, we’re in the same grade—“

Blair continued, “…and no doubt you’re here to snatch me and my pearls up too! Well, I won’t fall for it.”

Before Dan could even process what was happening, Blair flung a few bills in the bartender’s direction and scurried away. At the risk of seeming more like a stalker, Dan followed her out. He didn’t really have any other options and he wasn’t prepared to walk home just yet. That trek would take a little over two hours.

He finally caught up with her outside and was met with a mouthful of five-hundred dollar handbag, as she whacked him in the face.

“Leave me alone!”

Dan reeled back and held his nose, which might have been misshapen now. “Jesus…!”

Blair continued on to the sidewalk and tried her best to wave down a cab.

“Look, I’m not trying to hurt you I promise.”

Blair kept her eyes on the street. “Yeah, right. That’s what they all say, and then, next thing you know, you’re chopped up into little pieces and stored away in someone’s fridge.”

“Ah, so you’re a fan of True Crime, great.”

“I dabble in psychoanalytic discussion from time to time, yes.”

Dan scoffed, and exhaled. “You’re the only person I know here. I can’t get home. I lost my wallet and my phone is—”

“What a sad, heartbreaking story. Call Serena, I’m sure she would love to hear it.”

Dan shoved his hands in his pockets, “My phone’s dead… and Serena and I didn’t exactly leave things on speaking terms.”

Blair slowly lowered her outstretched arm and turned. For the first time Dan got a good look at her face. It was similar to the way it was before, but there was something in the way her makeup was wearing off underneath her eyes and how her neatly placed headband had been ripped away that made him see how sad she was, lonely even. He looked down. It was like seeing her naked.

“You poor boy. You have no idea what you’re in for with her, do you?”

Dan rolled his eyes. What did she know? “Could I borrow your phone? Or could you lend me some cab fare? I can pay you back.”

“Judging on your entire outfit, I assume you can’t.”

Dan hesitated, a cab ride all the way back to Brooklyn would definitely run him up about a hundred bucks, but he wasn’t about to admit to Blair ‘her majesty’ Waldorf that that would put a dent in his piggy bank.

“Well, I can. Just because I’m from Brooklyn doesn’t mean I’m destitute.”

Blair threw back her head in a defeated sort of way, and for a moment, Dan swore she would just run off in the other direction, but instead, she waved a limp hand and beckoned him to the curb where she was.

“Just help me get a cab.”

“Okay—“

“Try anything, and I’ll pepper spray you.”

Dan nodded, believing she would based on their interactions so far, and joined her on the sidewalk as taxis flew by. Like Blair, he held out his hand, but soon he grew tired and he gave up. Thinking on his feet, Dan pressed his thumb and pointer finger together, putting them between his lips. He whistled loudly, and soon enough, a cab pulled up to the corner.

Blair studied his face quizzically. “I’ve never been able to do that.”

“Me neither. I saw it in a movie once.”

Blair made a small “humph” sound, which Dan could call either approval or disdain. She pushed past him and climbed into the cab. Dan stuck his head through the doorway.

“So, cab fare?”

“Get in,” Blair said, sinking into the leather seats, not giving Dan any further acknowledgement.

Confused, he settled into the cab, while Blair gave the driver directions.

He was alone in a cab with Blair Waldorf, on a Sunday evening. Sunday evenings should’ve been for his dad’s attempts at classy cuisine and quiet contemplation about capitalism or the next school day. Instead, Dan felt he was enduring a punishment, being left alone with, again, Blair Waldorf. Even her name sounded like it thought it was better than him. The girl herself was scary, her stare could probably stop traffic, and he was weary of even breathing in her direction. Dan wasn’t sure how exposed Blair was: she probably thought that anyone living below Fifth Avenue had the plague. So they sat there, stewing in a thick silence that seemed louder than the traffic or their cab driver’s music. The man had about every Biggie album queued up, ready to go. Dan glanced over at Blair. She was bobbing her head against the glass of the car window.

“You like Biggie?”

Blair’s head remained turned away. “I enjoy a good New York success story.”

“Right…” Dan muttered, frantically racking his brain for anything to say. He often wasn’t at a loss for words, just the right words. “I thought you would have a driver.” Not the best topic to settle on, but he guessed rich people liked to talk about rich people things. That was certainly made clear by the way he had spent his entire morning.

“I do, but Nate was supposed to take me home.” She chuckled sourly, “he’s your lover’s lover.”

“Serena’s not my—“Dan cleared his throat, “why didn’t you just call your driver after…everything?”

“Who are you? Gossip Girl?” Blair snapped.

“I’m sorry I asked.”

Another silence fell over them.

Blair crossed her arms, and broke her staring contest with the other cars outside. “If I had called Gary to pick me up, then he would tell my mother. Then, she would know that Nate hadn’t brought me home, and ask me about what happened. And I would have to tell her, and she already thinks I can’t do anything right so—“

“You don’t have to explain. Moms are…tough.” Dan knew that all too well.

“That they are.” Blair said under her breath, finally looking at Dan. Her eyes were watery and Dan realized, even if she had orchestrated an entire take down at the expense of Serena, she had hurt herself in the process. Or, at least, Serena and Nate had.

Dan laughed, trying to keep things light. “You know, I haven’t really had a chance to dissect this whole thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just attended a brunch full of some of the richest families in Manhattan, and the most interesting that happened was orchestrated by a scheming, teenage girl. It was like something out of a—“

Blair sat up. “—a dramatic novel? Something by Fitzgerald perhaps?”

“No, I was gonna say a cheesy CW show,” Dan joked.

“Perhaps. Nevertheless, it was all probably far more impressive than anything you’ve seen,” Blair retorted, daring to smirk.

“Well, let’s just hope it’s the last time.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

The cab pulled up in front of Blair’s building. The sun had almost made its way under the horizon, and the artificial glow of New York City was starting to be switched on. Blair stepped out of the cab and poked her head through the passenger seat window the driver had rolled down for her.

“He’s going to Brooklyn,” she said, handing the driver a wad of cash.

As she started to walk up to the doors, Dan hung half of his body out of the cab. Blair turned and let out a laugh. It was either from amusement or exhaustion. Dan didn’t much mind either.

“I owe you, Waldorf.”

“Of course you do, Humphrey.”

Stone cold face, yet scrunched up, lips pursed and raised eyebrows, unless you could make her smile.

***

**Present**

Dan entered the office, basically running, and dropped his bag on his desk. He had only sat down for a few seconds when he was flooded by interns and co-workers with new tasks to complete. It was well past lunch when he was finally able to get a moment of peace to think, let alone shovel down the odd, green zucchini noodles Mei made him pack. As he ate, and then ultimately threw away the meal, walking downstairs to the café, he thought of the letter. It lay at the top of his bag, stinking of lavender, taunting him. He hoped that if he just stopped thinking about it, the nagging feeling of an obligation to his step-sister and all of his other family members would go away. Then his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Serena’s getting MARRIED!” Jenny yelled into the phone.

Balancing his phone between his ear and shoulder, he fished a few pounds from his wallet for a sandwich. “Well, thank you for asking Jenny! I’m doing good!”

“Who cares about you? Serena’s getting married, and to Amahle of all people!”

“What, is she on your hit list too?”

“No, I like Amahle. I’m just surprised. I mean it’s so scandalous and unexpected…it’s so…”

“Serena?”

Jenny paused. “Yeah.”

Dan made his way to the cashier, all the while listening to Jenny’s conspiracy theories, when his phone rang again. “Jen, hold on, it’s Eric.”

“Wait—“

“Hey, Eric, what’s up?”

“I guess being gay runs in the family.”

Dan chuckled, making his way back to his office. “I would hope not, your mom is kind of married to my dad. Did you not know about Serena…?”

In the background he could hear Jenny yell an emphatic “no!”

“I mean I suspected she would have a phase in college, she always talked about it, but I never thought she would marry a woman. I can’t help but be a little surprised and…proud.”

“That Serena she’s full of—“ Dan’s phone rang once more. “I’ll be right back.”

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hi, son. I hope everything’s good. Give my best to Mei. Anyway, you’re going to get a letter…”

“I already did Dad.”

“Oh! How are you? I know you and Serena have a complicated past so…”

“It’s really fine. We haven’t felt that way about each other in a long time and we won’t--”

“Hello? Daniel?”

Dan recognized the shrill, and somehow soothing, voice of Lily. “I’m still here.”

“Now, I had my reservations at first, but Amahle and Serena are just perfect! There’s no need to worry.”

“I wasn’t—“, Dan tried to reply, a chunk of sandwich swimming in a corner of his mouth, uneaten.

“Our Serena is finally settling down!”

“Finally? She’s still fairly young Lily…”

Lily was too ecstatic to listen. “Please tell me you’re coming to Tuscany.”

Rufus interrupted, “You have to, Dan. Your family misses you and no one parties like the Van der Humphreys!”

Unsure how to respond, he was relieved when another call came through on his office phone. Once again wedging his cellphone between his shoulder and his ear, he picked up the receiver. The sandwich in his other hand was starting to bleed mustard as he squeezed it tighter with anxiety.

“Hold that thought, Dad.” He switched phones, and dramatically sighed. “This is the great and all-knowing Dan Humphrey, pray tell, what is your wish?”

“So it’s that kind of day huh?” Nate laughed. He sounded like he was smiling and wearing sunglasses.

Dan reclined his chair. “Nate? Hey! It’s so good to hear from you.”

It really was. A side effect of leaving New York and not talking to her meant not talking to him, and losing another one of his best friends was just another hit to the chest.

“Would’ve been nice to have heard from you earlier but…”

“I’m sorry I’ve been busy—“

“I’m kidding! Come on, Dan, we’re adults.”

Dan smiled and examined his decrepit sandwich. “It doesn’t feel like that right now. Anyway, how are you? How’s life in LA?”

“It’s fantastic, but I’m currently making plans to be in Italy next week. I suggest you do the same.”

“Oh, Serena got to you too?”

“Yeah, I’m next in the line of groomsmen after you, so don’t flake. I’m not good at speeches.”

“She’s really got everyone drinking her Kool-Aid. Up until last year, Amahle and Serena were ‘roommates’. We hardly know her.”

“But we do know she makes Serena happy, and how often do we see that genuinely happen?”

“I guess you’re right. You’re really okay with all of this?”

Nate let out a hardy laugh. “Yes, and you should be too. Just take the stick out of your ass, and come to the wedding. Drink, eat good food, and show off those dance moves white boy!”

“You’re white too Nate.”

“Tomato, tomato. I’ll see you soon, and I’ve got so much to tell you. Remember, if you don’t go it’s homophobic!”

Abruptly, Nate hung up.

Dan stared at the receiver for a moment, listening to the dial tone. He dropped his shoulders, and went back to talking to his father and step-mother who had persisted in convincing an otherwise occupied Dan.

“Daniel, if you do not go I will never—“

“I’ll be there Lily. Don’t worry.”

“Wonderful!” Lily exclaimed, satisfied.

Rufus, amused at his wife’s easy going attitude once she got her way, continued speaking.

“You and Mei should call us with your plans, we can pick you up from the airport.”

“Okay, bye Dad.”

“Bye, son!”

He returned to his call with Eric to be met with Jenny’s voice, “I’m guessing mom and dad interrogated you.”

“Mom, huh? Has Lily adopted you? You guys should definitely loop me in for that sort of thing.”

“I’m just trying it out. She’s around a whole lot more than the actual one.”

Dan nodded, knowing exactly where Jenny was coming from, and set his newly deconstructed sandwich down. It was just a ball of bread and deli meat at that point.

“I know the only reason you’re being a total buzzkill is because you’re worried about seeing—“

“No it’s not. I’m just very busy.” Dan groaned, as he wiped his hand with a napkin. He didn’t even believe himself.

Jenny huffed, “listen, she won’t be there. I don’t think her and Serena have been on good terms in a long time.”

Dan rubbed his eyes. “I figured.”

“Then come, okay? I want to see my most favorite big brother.”

“Alright, how much money does your boyfriend need this time?” Dan teased, putting on a devilish smile.

“That was one time, Dan, and I broke up with him! Ugh, whatever.”

Dan didn’t even get to say goodbye before Jenny ended the call. Usually, their goodbyes were much longer, sometimes heartfelt. He supposed, since she thought they would be seeing each other soon, it wasn’t necessary.

He put down his phone and sat back in his chair, swiveling around to catch a view of the city. It wasn’t too bad as the rain cleared up. His phone dinged again, and frustrated, he almost didn’t answer, but his curiosity got the better of him. Maybe it’s Chuck, he jokingly said to himself. It would adhere to the day he was having. When he saw Mei’s name he wished it was Chuck. He had completely forgotten to tell her about any of this wedding business, and if they were going to be on time they would have to leave in a few days.

Dan looked at the opened pink envelope with one thought...

***

“Shit, shit, shit,” Blair whimpered.

Everything was going wrong. The latest samples of the new collections were only halfway on their way to being done and the office was flying into complete chaos over the meeting she had had with their investors. Blair rolled her eyes. They might as well burn me at the stake, she thought.

Her assistant, Maya, in all of her blue haired glory, strode in. “Hey boss, I’ve got a coffee that is screaming your name. And a xanny that’s whispering it.”

“I’ll take the coffee,” Blair cautioned, as she switched between three separate phones, texting different departments rapidly.

“Fair enough.” Maya set down the cup and started to organize the tornado that was Blair’s office.

When she had finally earned the coveted spot as head of Waldorf Designs’ marketing team last year (her mother had confessed she was at the bottom of a list of thirty other candidates) Blair’s office was basically pristine. She refused her mother’s old office, a room on the top floor that was cold and lonely. For once, she wanted to be a woman of the people and have a desk where everyone could reach her. She wanted to get up and go at any time. Now, that wasn’t seeming like such a good idea as everyone buzzed in and out of the room, asking her for her permission and other copious amounts of stupid things. Maya was the only one who could read Blair’s mind and just do.

Blair sized up Maya, as she always did. Some of her previous catty, teenage habits were dying hard. Maya was a severely Goth girl with a bright blue afro, although it would probably change to green in a matter of weeks. Despite her ripped leggings and pierced…everything, Blair looked past her judgements and soon found the girl was more competent than people twice her age. Blair didn’t even end up going through the office Olympics she had planned and hired Maya on the spot. Maybe she was getting a bit softer. Maybe she was just tired.

“Ms. Waldorf—“

“Blair, call me Blair.”

“Blair, it’s nearing 7:00 and I’m afraid you’ve reached your legal limit on how long you can keep your employees at work.”

“Hm?”

“The people have spoken! We wanna go home.”

Blair sent out her last few texts, and pressed her palms onto her desk, leaning forward.

“You’re almost as much of a workaholic as I am. You got a hot date?”

“Yes, his name is ‘my bed’ and we are madly in love.” Maya countered dramatically.

Blair shook her head, laughing, it was almost annoying how similar she and Maya were.

“Fine. Who am I to stand in the way of true love? Plus, there’s not much more for you to do anyway. As always, it is up to Blair Waldorf to save the day.”

Maya had already gathered her things. “Thanks!”

Jude, an intern in the building, ran by and pressed his forehead to the window that saw into Blair’s office. He tapped his watch, to which Maya responded with an enthusiastic nod. Smiling for ear to ear, he ran off. When Maya turned back to Blair, she had a suspecting eyebrow raised.

“Okay, so maybe I have ‘plans’. If you wanna to label things.”

“I thought you hated Jude.”

Maya rocked back and forth on her heels, giggling softly. “Oh, I do. Very much.”

Blair only shook her head as Maya went towards the door.

“Let me know if you need anything and try not to kill yourself,” Maya said finally.

Blair sighed, “Go, leave me to my genius.”

Maya blew Blair a diva-esque kiss and went to meet Jude by the elevators. Blair watched as they teased one another, knowing it was always sharp but always in good humor and good fun. It was a familiar sort of relationship they had. It almost made her feel homesick, although that didn’t make much sense since she was already home.

Blair sat for a few more hours after that, cleaning her office and decluttering her mind. When custodians came in and caught her snoozing over her paperwork, she decided it would be best to head out for the day. She stepped out into the city and took a minute to look back at the Waldorf Designs building. It was still there, beautiful as ever. Sirens sounded in the distance, cars made their slow crawls home, and pedestrians whizzed by, but Waldorf Designs always stayed there; still and sturdy. It was a comforting and fear-mongering thought; that a building might’ve been the most reliable thing in Blair’s life. After stopping for some take out and an ice cream cone, Blair went into her apartment.

She stripped off the remains of the city and went into the shower indefinitely, knowing after the stressful day she had, she would be in there for a while. As she let the water and soap run down her back, she played her voicemails. Most of them were work related; one was from her mother calling about her and Cyrus’ most recent vacation, two from her friend Roxanne who demanded they get drinks, and a few were from some old flings she had had in recent months. Random hook-ups had never been her style, but they were the easiest to come by, seeing as she was far too busy to give anyone her emotional energy. All the voicemails had played, save for one.

“Hi, Blair, it's Serena. I couldn’t get hold of you at your office, but your assistant gave me your new cell number. I don’t know if my letter reached you yet, but um… I’m getting married! I’m sure you remember Amahle from your visit to Kenya last year, but I’m marrying her in Tuscany at the end of the month. God, I wish you were here, because all I want to do is hug you and explain everything. Anyway, call me back. Please.”

Quick as lightning, Blair stumbled out of the shower and wrapped herself in a robe. She grabbed the phone and called Serena back, not minding the drastic time difference. She sat curled up on the couch, nervous and anticipating she would be ignored.

Serena, on the third ring, picked up, passively answering. “Hello?”

Blair chewed the inside of her lip. “Hi, S.”

Immediately, Serena’s voice perked up, “B?”

Her voice sounded good. It was clear and alive, not at all like the raspy and disappointed tone it used to have.

“Who else?” Blair murmured hoarsely, it had been so long, almost a year, and even then they hadn’t talked as friends, merely distant acquaintances.

“I’m so glad to hear from you. I thought—“

“That I wouldn’t want to hear every single detail of your Ellen DeGeneres escapades? Who do you think I am?”

Serena gushed. “You’re right, how could I forget?”

“When did this happen?”

“Well, one night Amie and I had a really long trip back to the city from this little village we were working in. Then, we kissed, but we blamed it on weak inhibitions and exhaustion—

“Obviously.” Blair grinned.

“But then, it happened again, and it just kept happening. Finally, we said ‘fuck it’.”

“Wow.”

“I know it’s all happening so fast, but I’ve never loved anyone like this and—“

“Serena.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m happy for you. Even if all of this is impulsive, and stupid, and irritatingly sweet, I’m happy for you.”

Serena sniffed, Blair could tell she was crying a bit. “Thank you.”

The women took a moment to put themselves back together.

“B, I want you to be my maid of honor.”

Blair sharply inhaled. “What?”

“I understand we haven’t treated each other as we should’ve, but we’re sisters no matter what right? This is how it’s meant to be. You have to Blair. I simply cannot do this wedding without your nagging and catering expertise.”

Starting to pace her apartment, Blair put a hand on her hip. “True. Without me, you would just marry Amahle in a field somewhere, singing kumbaya.”

“Exactly.” Serena chirped playfully. “Anyway, you’ll absolutely adore Tuscany.”

“I know, it’s just…what about—?”

“Who cares? I’m the one that needs you.”

Blair closed her eyes for a moment. “Okay.”

“Okay? You’ll come?”

“I’ll come.”

Serena squealed with delight. “I’ll text you the details tomorrow and hopefully your invite comes in the mail by then. I’ve got to go, Amahle’s giving me the look.”

“Alright, talk to you soon.”

“Love you, B!”

“Love you too, S.” And she really meant it.

Blair waited for the small beep of an ended call and carefully placed her phone on the couch. Her hair was still wet so it dripped onto her shoulders, sending a chill down her arms. She made her way over to the take out, spearing her dumplings with chopsticks, and looked around her empty apartment. She wasn’t even hungry anymore.

***

**October, 2007**

Blair’s stomach grumbled. Thankfully, she could muffle the sound underneath her Chanel bag and wool coat. In the corner of her eye, looking over the minions that sat below her, she spotted Dan as Serena led him up the steps of the Met. Serena, in her classic golden retriever fashion, skipped up to Blair with Dan in tow, sitting down excitedly. Blair knew this was Serena’s way of leading him to the golden gates that was the Upper East Side. Blair just happened to be the one with the keys. Breathlessly, as the wind turned her cheeks red, something that looked adorable on her and like a rash on Blair, Serena grinned. 

“Dan, this is Blair. Blair this is Dan. He’s my um, friend.”

Dan shifted forward and extended his hand.

“Yes, we’ve met,” Blair sneered, not moving an inch. Bold of him to assume he could touch her.

Before Serena could connect the dots to that unfortunate brunch they were all present for, Dan laughed. “So you remember me? I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be. I remember you like one might remember getting gum stuck to their heels; gross and indifferent.”

Dan’s face showed what Blair recognized as disappointment. Not that she was concerned about it.

“Blair…” Serena warned.

“I’m being completely civil,” she snapped, still staring down Dan. 

Serena shared an apologetic look with him, making Blair descend deeper into madness. “You want to come with me to the café Dan?”

Pulling his attention away from Blair, he smiled at Serena like she was an angel walking on Earth. Blair wanted to vomit. “I’ve got my lunch, but yeah, I can keep you company.”

Serena gave Blair a pleading look, which Blair responded to with a roll of her eyes, and led Dan away. Katy, Isabelle, and Blair’s other minions followed suit, raving about coffees and croissants. Blair decided to stay there. If she saw any sort of food she would just have to gorge herself, and she wasn’t up to it. Still, the empty bit of her stomach echoed back at her.

Thinking Dan was long gone, Blair was startled when he ran back up the steps quickly and handed Blair the brown, paper bag in his hands.

“They’re pork dumplings; best in Brooklyn.”

She glowered. “That’s quite the oxymoron.”

However disgusted she was, Blair snatched the bag and peeked inside. The dumplings were somehow hot, and the warm steam sneaked their way up her nostrils. They smelled of ginger and spices and everything decadent.

“I wasn’t gonna eat them and I figured…I don’t know…” Dan stammered.

“Pick up your tongue from the floor, would you Humphrey?”

Dan smirked, seemingly regaining his composure. “Sorry, it’s just a little scared of your stomach’s growling.”

For a moment, Blair felt her face drop and her cheeks flushed a rash red. Having rendered Blair somewhat speechless, and most definitely mortified, Dan walked away. Blair kept her eyes in the bag of heavenly smelling dumplings, not even noticing Dan turning his head every so often to see if she would take a bite.

She did.


	2. First Glance, Second Stares

**Part II**

**“First Glance, Second Stares”**

**Present**

Dan checked his hair once more in the reflection of the restaurant’s glass doors and went inside. In one hand, he held onto an already wilting bouquet of grocery flowers, and in the other, he held the wedding invitation that he suspected had caused his day to descend into chaos. He tucked it into his coat pocket. Striding deeper into the restaurant, he headed to his and Mei’s usual table. He had a plan. He would tell Mei about his premature idea of jetting off to Italy, soften the blow with her favorite flowers, and then listen to her complain for a couple of minutes about how much he acted like a child, which was fair. He was willing to sacrifice a little bit of his dignity if it meant having an excuse to skip the upcoming retreat/wedding extravaganza.

His plan quickly fell apart when he turned a corner and was met with Mei, _and_ Frank for some reason, waiting for him. Frank stood to greet Dan, while Ana continued to sit and stare straight ahead.

“Alright, Danny?” Frank asked, patting Dan on the back and offering an encouraging smile.

Dan, still somewhat perplexed, sat down. “Did we schedule a double date that I forgot about? Is Jasmine on her way?”

Mei took a large gulp of her water and shook her head. “No.”

Dan wanted a little more than that, but the waiter came by, reading out all of the specials and pouring out some wine. Mei immediately started to sip away. Dan placed an arm around her, but it only made her tense up more. Frank looked down and fiddled with his napkin.

“Is it me or are two out three of the people at this table acting like they’ve just committed a crime?” Dan questioned, letting out a nervous chuckle.

It only took a tearful look from Mei and an apologetic one from Frank for Dan to get what was going on. He had known those faces of guilt intimately and had worn them himself once. Mei had cheated on him.

Dan started toward the door, running into the street. He took a few shallow breaths, feeling like he was drowning in the deepest part of a swimming pool. The weather outside was less than ideal as it continued to drizzle and then pour. Mei and Frank came out after Dan, trying to stop him from pacing himself all the way into a moving car.

“Can we please explain?”

He pressed his palms to his temples. Dan could’ve sworn he was listening to his girlfriend talk from inside a fishbowl.

Frank intervened. “Dan, we never meant for this to happen. We were drunk and you were away—“

“You’re rationalizing this with alcohol and me being gone for a few days?!”

“You’re gone all the time, Dan!” Mei yelled back.

“I—“

“You…you…you haven’t been here for a long time. I don’t know where you go in your head, but you are _always_ there. I get lonely out here in the real world.”

Through his rain soaked eyelids Mei only looked like an outline of a person. “You cheated on me with my best friend.”

Frank stepped forward sheepishly. “I’m your best friend?”

“NOT ANYMORE, OBVIOUSLY!”

Anticipating they would keep trying to invalidate his broken heart and anger, Dan started to walk in the other direction, hoping they wouldn’t follow him. They didn’t.

When got home he began to pack. He called his office and promised them a strong, hard-hitting piece on the elusive Serena van der Woodsen and her upcoming nuptials. He then texted his agent to let him know he needed to get out of town. Immediately, his agent (being a workaholic shark with a pension for Dan having apt inspiration for his writing) booked him a flight. Within a few days, Dan was on a plane headed to Tuscany; ignoring any incoming calls and wishing that by the time he returned, Mei would be scrubbed off and out of his apartment.

*******

Blair had been in Tuscany for only a few hours and here’s what she had learned; Amahle was nearly perfect for Serena. In the cab, as it drove through the gates and into the couple’s gargantuan Tuscan estate, Blair was prepared to vet the woman. Having missed out on years of interviewing her best friend’s partners, whether they were good or bad, Blair had some serious recon work to do. No matter the circumstance, she could always find something wrong with the company Serena liked to keep. There were very few exceptions. But Amahle was good, and not “good” in the sense that she was just a skilled liar, she was just good. With her white smile and glowing brown skin, she even looked the part of the “perfect partner”. Blair, not being used to genuinely good people, was weary of this when she arrived.

Coming down from the front steps, Serena, clad in a simple white t-shirt and blue skirt, immediately ran up to hug Blair, filling in for years of zero affectionate greetings. She looked like a normal, healthy woman, not the caricature of herself she had been on the Upper East Side. Amahle followed after Serena and when Blair extended her hand for a calculating handshake the woman basically gave her an equally gigantic hug. As a few elderly, Italian women hobbled over to collect Blair’s bags, Serena and Amahle led her away from the house to explore the grounds. Serena had always been a sucker for grand backyard tours. They made their way down the sandy, gravel path as Blair’s cab pulled away and they wrapped around to a large pavilion attached to an infinity pool. With the house being on one big hill, the view was absolutely breathtaking.

Blair’s mouth was almost agape, having been in crowded and crammed New York for most of her time. “How did you get this place, S? I mean, no offense but I can’t imagine the salary for a health aid worker can afford this.”

“I have savings and a trust fund Blair.”

“This must’ve cost _two_ trust funds S.”

Amahle nudged Serena sweetly. “I helped out.”

Blair crossed her arms. “That’s all good and dandy, but what happens after this wedding when you need money for, I don’t know, food and utilities?”

Serena and Amahle shared a look filled with hilarity.

“What?”

Serena laughed. “Blair, this house didn’t exactly put a dent in our pockets. It didn’t have much value because some man died in one of the upstairs bathrooms and—“

“I’m rich, well, my family is.” Amahle finished.

Blair nodded, smiling plainly. “That’s a relief, I really thought we would have to have a hard conversation.”

As they rounded a corner, walking into a rose garden, Blair heard a familiar voice. Then, she saw the old wisp of light khakis and expensive tennis shoes.

“Nate?” Blair asked giddily.

He turned, shades on, and beamed back at her. “Blair Waldorf? It can’t be!”

Blair responded by giving Nate a quick hug and making him do a small spin. California suited him.

“I can’t believe you’re gracing us with your presence. I thought you would be buried in some bimbo out in California.”

“I’m a one-woman man these days. And come on, you know I’m always up for a messy Serena shenanigan.”

Amahle shook her head. “Is that all I am? A shenanigan?”

Serena gave her a deep kiss on the cheek. “The best one I’ve ever had.”

“And the prettiest. Serena’s dated some real uggos.” Nate added.

“Like you?” Amahle prodded.

“Ouch.”

Nate and Amahle continued to spar as the four walked to the pavilion by the pool. The women sat down in front of a large, gold fire pit that had been placed next to the back doors of the house. Nate, not much of a fan for staying settled, went inside to fool about and eat any of the cook’s samples. Plus, he couldn’t go long without checking on his kid.

Serena rested her cheek on her fist. “I still can’t believe Nate’s a dad. When I called him last year I was shocked.”

“I can’t believe you’re getting married. We’re all still so young.”

“Says the girl who was betrothed to a prince when she was _twenty_ ,” Serena retorted.

Amahle gasped. “A prince? Darling, I think you forgot to mention that story.”

Blair pressed her lips together, brushing off Serena’s comment. “I’m sure your fiancé would be delighted to tell you later, but first, we need to talk about this wedding.”

Immediately, Blair whipped out her IPad from her bag and pulled up her spreadsheets and plans. Serena, aglow with the fact that everyone was getting along so well, just laughed, but Amahle narrowed her eyes and pulled forth her own preparations. They were in the form of a thick, black binder.

“Someone’s come prepared.” Blair said dejectedly.

“Well, it is my wedding.”

“Good point. Theme?”

“Tropical Rainforest meets Tuscany. It’s the perfect combination of vibrant African colors mixed with Serena’s light and ethereal style.”

“Hm. Lighting? Anything but fairy lights I hope.”

“Please, chandeliers and candles for the ceremony, lanterns will be released during the reception.”

“Color scheme? _I_ was thinking—“

“The central color will be eggshell and the supporting ones will be fuchsia, dark green, and perhaps a gold yellow.”

“Not bad…and the bridesmaids will obviously wear—“

Serena spoke up, “flower crowns? I always thought those were cute.”

“Please, Serena, flower crowns are so 2015.”

Amahle gave Serena a pat on the shoulder and nodded. “She’s right babe.”

“What will you two be wearing? Suits?”

Serena rolled her eyes, “just because we’re gay doesn’t mean we have to wear suits Blair.”

“Well, actually I would love to see you in a pantsuit my love,” Amahle tittered, “but it probably won’t happen if my parents come. That would really be the nail in my coffin.”

Blair furrowed her brow. “Well, it seems you have aesthetics handled, but should I know anything else? I mean it’s basically the maid of honor’s duty to do damage control. Any damage worth mentioning?”

Serena and Amahle exchanged a concerned look and Serena took Amahle’s hand and squeezed it gently. More and more, Blair could see that they were a team, a united front.

“My parents aren’t exactly the most progressive people in the world. I mean they’ve lived in England for a long time, but in their home country it isn’t common for girls to be openly gay. The most I’ll get from them is ‘tolerance’ and that still hurts. Needless to say, they aren’t exactly jumping for joy like Lily is.”

“I’m sorry. That must be terrible,” Blair said gently.

Serena rubbed Amahle’s back. “It’s just a small bump in the road, that’s all.”

Out of nowhere, another old, Italian woman waddled over and whispered something in Serena’s ear. Blair was starting to wonder just how much help Serena had hired and if they were all ancient women who looked like they would sternly smack her for not eating enough. Serena’s eyes widened as she asked “really?” Blair tilted her head quizzically, watching her friend stand.

“I’ve got to go check on something. Will you show Blair to her room, Amahle?”

“Yeah, no problem. You alright?”

“Perfect.” And, with that, Serena briskly walked away to the front of the house, leaving Blair and Amahle alone.

Before Amahle could rise, Blair touched her forearm. “Serena’s okay here, isn’t she?”

Amahle smiled as if Blair wasn’t acting like a cagey best friend. She was understanding to say the least.

“Yes. I know she is.”

“I can’t protect her from across the world. It’s proved difficult, especially after a fight.”

“You don’t have to anymore.”

It was like a weight being lifted off of Blair’s shoulders. The women made their way in through the tall, glass doors leading into the living room. Blair admired Serena’s choice. The Tuscan-style mansion was cozy, yet vast, with its long stone columns, Renaissance balconies, and huge chandeliers. As they walked through the living room, into the hustle and bustle of the kitchen, and up the curved steps, Blair and Amahle talked about the guests.

“So, who should I expect to come? Any scandalous family members worth mentioning?”

Amahle chuckled. “Not really, I’m afraid that’s Serena’s wheel house. Everyone aside from immediate ‘family’ is coming in a few weeks. You’ll meet my brother, Zane, tonight. He went to pick up my friends; Jamila and Odessa. And you already know the Vander Humphreys.”

“All too well.”

*******

Dan arrived exhausted. He stepped out of his town car and removed his sunglasses, taking in the grounds. It was expensive-looking no doubt, but he was surprised to be so charmed by the big windows, spurting fountains, and carefully trimmed hedges. They were all eco-unfriendly things Mei and he would surely make fun of. Ugh, Mei. It still stung. While he was bombarded by tiny old women collecting his bags, Jenny and Eric came running towards him with croquet mallets in their hands.

“Dan!” Jenny shouted, giving him a wobbly hug.

Dan dropped his messenger bag and laughed into her hair. “Hey, Jen.”

“Where’s Mei?”

“Um, I’ll explain later.”

Ruffling Eric’s hair, Dan examined his croquet mallet. “It’s only day one and you two are already causing property damage?”

Eric was elated. “They’ve got a croquet field in the back, and a hedge maze, and—“

“An infinity pool! I’m never leaving!” Jenny confirmed.

Dan only smiled and picked up his bag, letting his siblings lead him to the house. He looked at Jenny’s platinum hair, bouncing in its freshly cut bob. It seemed she had traded her gothic, Victorian style for something bordering on dark, business chic. The look wasn’t as intense as it used to be. He glanced at Eric, whose beard, which had been just a boyish wisp of hair on his chin, was a fully recognizable shadow now. The kids were growin’ up.

Serena materialized in the foyer and sprinted towards Dan with Nate following close behind. She tackled him in a bear hug.

“Oh man, have you been doing cross-fit?”

Nate leaned against the front door frame. “I said the same thing. Our girls built like a lumberjack now.”

Serena ignored Nate and looked at Dan with tearful eyes. “You came.”

Dan squeezed her hand and gave Nate a short hug with his free arm. “What kind of douchebag would I be to miss your _wedding_?”

Jenny pulled Eric into the house. “Ew, emotion.”

Eric turned over his shoulder. “We’re going inside to get ready for dinner.”

The pair ran upstairs as Serena called after them, “be at the dining table by 7!”

She raked a hand through her hair nervously and gave Nate what Dan recognized as a pleading look. Her and Nate’s mood seemed to regress rapidly.

“Um, Dan, why don’t I show you to your room, which…” he eyeballed Serena.

“…is also Nate’s room!” Serena blurted out.

Nate’s eyes widened like this was news to him. “Yep, you’ll be bunking with me and Rosey.”

“Rosey? Nate, I’m not sharing with you and your girlfriend.”

As if on cue, little feet padded from the foyer and out onto the steps where Nate stood. Nate swept up a quite exuberant toddler and gave her tummy a small, affectionate squeeze.

“Dan, this is my daughter, Rosey.”

Dan, completely taken aback, blinked hard. “We _really_ need to catch up more.”

“You two do that.” Serena insisted, backing into the house, “I am just going to check on…things. Don’t go into the west hall, okay, see you later!”

Serena ran off, leaving Dan and his friend who was apparently a dad now.

“Does she have a…um…” Dan felt he was stumbling through sentences more frequently, “does she have a mom person or do you—?”

“My baby mama you mean? Her name’s Ines and we met in Mexico at a bar almost two years ago, and the rest is history.”

“Are you guys…?”

“We’ve been dating casually and she’s getting here tomorrow, so I’m hopeful. But for now, she’s just ‘Rosey’s mom’. This roommate thing between you and I is still temporary though.”

Dan laughed. “Agreed.”

Nate shifted a sleepy Rosey to his other arm and held out her hand to shake Dan’s, “Rosey, this is Uncle Dan. He’s going to be staying in our room tonight.”

Rosey rubbed her eyes and yawned.

“I swear she’s usually a hyperactive devil, I’m sure Cece just wore her out.”

“Cece’s here, of course. Is it too late to leave?”

Nate smirked. “Cece should be the _least_ of your worries, man.”

*******

Blair walked into her room and breathed in the fragrant air that blew through the frothy and curtained windows. There was definitely a lavender farm somewhere on the estate. It was a small room, with a queen sized bed, a mahogany desk, and a rickety closet, but Blair couldn’t help being enchanted, especially considering the view.

“I’ll let you unpack and get settled in. Dinner’s at 7:00, but if you want to sleep through it, that’s fine. I’m sure you’re jetlagged.”

“Alright, thank you Amahle.”

Amahle gave her a small smile and closed the door.

*******

As Amahle walked down the hallway Serena rushed by worriedly. Amahle stopped her fiancé with a firm hand on her waist.

“Don’t run, your mum is still sleeping off her morning mimosas two rooms away.”

Serena turned with wild eyes. Her expression was both happy and very fearful. “Dan is here.”

“Dan? I thought he wasn’t coming!”

“I didn’t think he would! He never RSVP’d or even called,” Serena exclaimed, biting back a maniacal laugh.

“Serena…no.”

“This is a _sign_!”

“No it’s not! She’ll kill you, or worse, leave! And let’s be honest babe, you are terrible at wedding delegation.”

Taking Amahle’s face in her hands, Serena grinned. “The universe has officially aligned.”

Frustrated, Amahle threw up her arms, “what does _that_ mean?”

Without a response, Serena turned and continued on to Blair’s room.

*******

Two soft knocks sounded behind the door and Blair dropped her clothes back onto the bed and opened it to see a breathless, sweaty Serena.

Using the doorframe as support Serena gasped out. “Settling in well?”

“Yes, this place is beautiful. I mean obviously I’m still going to get work done while I’m here, but I think this’ll be the vacation I’ve needed.”

“Okay, good, good,” Serena murmured, coming further into the room and sitting on the bed as Blair continued to fold and hang up clothes. “Did you see everyone? Got a chance to say hi?”

“I saw Rufus and Cece playing with Rosey on my way up, she is the cutest thing. But other than that no. Amahle informed me Lily had a slight ‘headache’ so I assume I’ll just see her for dinner. I have yet to meet Amahle’s brother and her friends. Oh, and I hear Nate’s baby mama is coming. I haven’t met her in person, have you?”

Serena swallowed. “Nope.”

“I cannot _wait_ to dig into her. Nate says she’s got money, but come on, she just _happens_ to get pregnant out of nowhere after Nate announces he’s bought the Spectator? I don’t think so.”

“Mmhm.”

“S, you’re very sweaty. I have to say… it’s a little early for wedding jitters,” Blair joked, as she followed Serena’s eye line to the windows at the far end of the room. Blair walked over to the window but was met with Serena’s strong grip against her chest. Luckily, with a tiny figure, Blair was able to release herself from the blonde’s grasp.

“Serena, what the hell?!”

Blair tore back the curtains and opened the doors to a small balcony. At first, she was only infatuated with the grand view of the Tuscan hills and front grounds of the house, but then she cast her eyes downwards. There, below her, standing in the setting sun on the steps, looking like a ghost plucked right from her past, was Dan Humphrey.

*******

**October, 2007**

Dan had lost Serena for about the seventh time that night, and he (being annoyed with the mere fact that he was even at a “masquerade ball”) wasn’t inspired to try finding her again. She was probably off somewhere drinking or gallivanting with the other Constance girls, which was fine. Dan believed he wasn’t that guy; the type to be possessive over anyone. She could do her thing and he could do his. _Wasn’t like he had come with the one intention of seeing Serena._ Don’t be an asshole, Dan, he thought, as he made his way through dancing, no doubt drunk, teenagers. He considered just going home when he looked up and saw Blair all on her lonesome. Once again, she was back to her poised, upright, position, leaning against the balcony and surveying what she would call her ‘kingdom’. Dan laughed a bit to himself, she certainly looked like royalty with her high-done hair and extravagant ball gown, but she had to know this was all kind of ridiculous. However, Dan didn’t have much to do, and his social anxiety was already at its maximum level, so he decided it was only right to indulge in the “grandeur”.

Dan bounded up the steps and walked up next to Blair, holding the railing with his right hand. Blair didn’t pay him any mind, probably engrossed with her people watching.

In an borderline terrible British accent, Dan muttered, “you look positively adequate tonight Ms. Bennet.”

Blair turned, knives in her eyes. “Excuse me?”

Dan abandoned his accent as he felt himself grow nervous for some reason. “Just a fun Pride and Prejudice reference for you, since we’re at a ball.”

“I’m aware of the Pride and Prejudice reference and your lame attempt at Mr. Darcy, what I’m confused about is why you think that reference would match the theme of this party. If you really think that Pride and Prejudice is what all of this resembles, then I have obviously made several mistakes and should end this whole thing right here and now.”

Rolling his eyes, Dan considered taking off. Talking to Blair had once again proved a difficult feat.

“I’m sorry your majesty what reference would be more to your liking? Perhaps calling you Marie Antoinette is more appropriate; given the poodle hair and your ignorance of lower class issues?”

She still held up her serious exterior. “Well, considering everything was modeled after high society in the 18th century, hence the big ball gowns and the games, I would much more prefer being called Lady Susan. It’s unromantic, just like this night.”

“Hm, scheming, cash-grabbing widow with a skill for scandal. Makes sense…” Dan flipped on his British accent again, “how has your evening been Lady Susan, full of dramatic spectacles to be sure?”

Blair flicked open her fan, occupying the small space between them. She was in favor of the flare to play make believe. He would have to remember that.

“Why of course.”

Dan laughed, her British accent was far more impressive than his. He looked out into the sea of people below them and spotted a girl with a leather corset and a strange fur jacket.

“I don’t think she got the memo about this being the 18th century.”

“Fucking simpletons…” Blair said under her breath. It almost sounded like a hiss.

Dan watched as Blair’s hostility returned.

“Well, if no one else will, I suppose I should applaud your intellect—“

Blair gripped the railing. “I’m sure you’ll want to return to Serena and her smiles. You’re wasting your time with me.”

Before Dan could play “spot the reference” Blair was already walking away, leaving him to wonder what on Earth he had said to make her go.

*******

**Present**

Blair and Serena were wrestling. Honestly, if Blair really thought about it, it was a long time coming. They had tested the waters of their friendship too many times, including in physical altercations involving a cake and a fountain, but never had they just full on wrestled. This time, however, it wasn’t because of some petty fight or piece of gossip. It was because Serena just wanted Blair to stay.

With Serena’s entire hand pressed against her forehead, pulling it back, Blair yelled, “I am getting out of here. Do not touch the money maker!”

“NO, just—“

Blair rotated her foot and tripped Serena, trying to run away. But Serena was persistent and held onto Blair’s ankles for dear life.

“You are bat shit crazy if you think I am staying in the same house as _him_!”

“Fine, I’m bat shit crazy! Now can you please calm down?”

Serena continued to claw at Blair until they were both on the floor taking strikes at one another until she declared, “I can’t do this alone!”

They ceased their fisticuffs and collapsed onto the floor, looking up at the ceiling. Serena’s hair looked insane, but Blair couldn’t assume hers was any better.

“What do you mean?”

Serena put her hands to her eyes and shook her head, almost as if she were embarrassed.

“I’m so scared B.”

Blair took a deep breath and remained quiet, suddenly she was interested in the popcorn ceiling and whirling fan above her.

“I can’t do this without you. It was always supposed to be like this no matter what; all of us back together again.”

Blair closed her eyes, and took Serena’s hand, whispering, “Why did you have to invite _him_ , of all people?”

“He’s my step brother.”

“That fact hasn’t really held you back in the past. For example…”

“It’s different now. I have Amahle. And he has Mei. And, I want a real family.”

_Mei_? Who was this _Mei_? Blair dismissed the growing envy in her. She knew what Serena spoke of. For the longest time they all had been denying ordinary things for backstabbing and fits of scandal. They deserved some normalcy for once. And normal came tied to a home, maybe even a real fresh start.

Blair rose, and helped Serena to her feet. They shared a small laugh as they assessed the damage.

“I think you dislocated my boob,” Serena admitted, cupping her breast.

Blair shrugged. “I do palates.”

Serena rested her hands on her hips and exhaled. “Will I see you at dinner?”

“Unless I decide to go on a hunger strike until the wedding, yes you will.”

Serena pulled Blair in, tightly embracing her. “I promise it’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, it’s a big house, and who knows how we’ll react to each other? I’m sure it’ll be boring and apathetic.”

Serena smiled tiredly. “Sure.”

She left and Blair looked around her room. The pillows were out of order and she was almost certain she had a carpet burn on her shin.

“It’ll be okay.”

*******

“This is not okay!” Dan said as he paced around the room, “I was tricked, robbed even!”

Nate watched from the bathroom as he attempted to slick Rosey’s hair into two little buns.

With a bobby pin in his mouth, Nate grumbled, “God, you’re more of a drama queen than she is.”

Dan walked over to the bathroom and leaned against the counter where Rosey swung her legs from. “I should leave. Right? You guys don’t need me, you never have.”

Nate, still struggling with Rosey’s big head of hair, sighed, “Don’t leave. You won’t even be that douchebag that didn’t come, you’ll be the douchebag that left like two hours in because you happened to see someone you dated for a few months.”

Dan chewed his thumbnail. “Yeah. Wait, can you curse in front of her?”

Nate examined his daughter’s face, which was vacant and dreamy at best. “I think it’s fine. She’s not paying attention.”

“Douche!” Rosey shrieked in response, which she followed with more mindless babbling and fart noises.

“Shit, fuck, ahhh nuts! Rosey don’t repeat any of that in front of mommy okay?”

Rosey nodded and mimed zipping her lips shut.

Dan laughed. “You are destroying this kid’s hair.”

Shoving Nate to the side, Dan took over with the brush and comb and started to work on Rosey’s head. “The secret to curly hair is lots of water and conditioner.”

Nate nodded, taking in the lesson. “Is it really so weird that Blair is here?”

Dan gathered Rosey’s hair into a ponytail. “Yes. I haven’t seen or talked to her in years.”

“My point exactly, you should be over her.”

“I am. Obviously.” Dan began to braid with great, almost concerning speed.

“What’s obvious about it—“

Dan continued, hardly listening to Nate. “This isn’t how I imagined seeing her again, okay?”

“You _imagined_ it?”

“Come on, everybody has that revenge ex-girlfriend fantasy.”

“Uh…”

“I would be with Mei, not an emotional mess, and I would see her on the street or something. She would’ve come to talk to me but I would only wave and continue on my way because I would've just been so unbelievably happy with Mei.”

“But were you?”

“Huh?”

“Were you ‘unbelievably happy’ with Mei?”

Dan sighed and put the finishing touches on Rosey’s hair, smoothing on a bit of hairspray over the edges. “I thought so.”

“No!” Rosey squealed.

Dan, a little surprised, looked over at Nate.

“Don’t worry, that’s just her favorite word right now,” Nate scratched his neck, “although Mei cheated on you, so Rose might have a point.”

“Too soon, man.”

Nate picked up Rosey and headed towards the door. “Dinner’s probably ready by now.”

“I’ll just hang back here. I’m not ready to see her yet. I know, I’m pathetic.”

“Yes, you are, and if you leave…” Nate cupped Rosey’s ears with his hands, “I’m pretty sure Serena has people in her phone that will assassinate you.”

“Yikes.”

“See you later, say good night Uncle Dan.”

The last thing Dan heard before they left was a sequence of gurgles and words resembling somewhat of a sentence. “How sweet,” Dan thought, “I’m an uncle now”.

She wouldn’t be able to find him on the roof. Sure, he had almost killed himself climbing out of the window, and struggling up the stone walls, but at least no one would guess he could be on the roof. He idly walked along the edge, letting himself finally take in the view. Serena and Amahle had outdone themselves with the purchase. The Tuscan hills and skies were unmatched. He hadn’t remembered ever seeing so many stars in such a dark, blue sky. Cities were usually filled to the brim with smog. Pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, a disgusting habit he had picked up from Frank, he put one between his lips and searched his pockets for a lighter. Unsuccessful, he took the cigarette from his lips and examined it. Suddenly, the wind around him remained still.

“Light?”

He turned and was shell-shocked to see _her_ holding out a sleek, silver lighter, like something out of Gatsby’s pocket. He could only nod yes.

She lit her own cigarette and then lit Dan’s. He watched as she inhaled, her eyes closing as she did so, her slender, manicured fingers grazing her cupid’s bow. She looked the same as she always had, yet so different. She was just as serious and astute, but more relaxed in the way she carried herself. Her skin, which he remembered having a pinkish tint, like those women in Botticelli paintings, had been kissed with a bit of sun and some gold freckles. Somehow, she simultaneously seemed like a foreigner and a native Tuscan in her flowery, cream dress. And her hair. Once a simple chestnut color, her shoulder length mane was almost a bright, auburn that looked rose gold when the light hit it just right. She was more complex than ever, an even more intricate puzzle. Dan wasn’t sure he looked any different: he wasn’t even worth the crossword.

“Waldorf,” he finally said.

*******

**May, 2009**

“HUMPHREY!”

Blair was storming the school hallways, on a search for one person and one person only. Finding him, as usual, flirting with Serena in the courtyard, Blair grabbed him by the ear, not so much minding the stares they were getting. Pulling him aside behind the steps, and shooing away a young sophomore couple, Blair lasered into him with her eyes.

Rubbing his now red ear, Dan shook his head. “What do you want?!”

“Tell me why I just learned that I will have to _share_ my valedictorian speech with you, instead of getting my own?”

Dan looked satisfied when he should’ve been scared half to death or at least threatened. “I’m valedictorian?”

“No, _I_ am valedictorian, _you_ are just some charity case they decided to slap on the label of my intellectual caviar!”

“About 50 percent of that made sense.”

After a few more jabs at one another, they ended up in the headmistress' office, arguing all the more until the woman raised an authoritative hand and put their chatter to rest.

“I’m sorry. The problem has become lost in all of this bickering. Now, explain.”

Blair went to speak before she was interrupted.

“Mr. Humphrey?”

“Blair is upset because she doesn’t want to share the valedictorian position with me. It’s a classic case of elitists’ tantrums.”

Oh, she was going to commit _murder_.

“It’s an injustice Headmistress for me, and women across America—“

Dan scoffed. “Please don’t use other women to back you up like you’ve been through _anything_ Marie Antoinette.”

Blair persisted. “—to have to _share_ my spotlight with someone like Dan Humphrey who, let’s be honest, probably has the GPA of a well-trained dog.”

“Aw, you think I’m well-trained?”

“As much any mutt can be.”

“I’m calling that hate crime.”

“Good, because I hate you!”

“Enough!” the head mistress shouted. “...Ms. Waldorf, equal opportunity is exactly why we have two valedictorians. Because we share a ceremony with St. Jude’s, it is only fair we appoint two people to make a final address. Furthermore, your assumption about Mr. Humphrey couldn’t be farther from the truth. His GPA is nearly perfect, almost identical to yours, in fact.”

“That can’t be possible.”

“Now, I can let each of you make your own speeches, the time limit for them will be cut down of course, but you will have to organize the farewell soiree together and welcome the parents as a unit. Can you do that?”

Dan gave a kind yes, while Blair held back a few, choice words.

“Ms. Waldorf, I’m afraid it’s this or nothing. You just got off of academic probation.”

“Fine.” Blair responded through gritted teeth.

“Wonderful!”

Blair stormed away from the office, knowing if she was fast enough, Dan would lose her. No such luck. She cursed her heels and turned a corner into the fresh, spring air.

“So, I was thinking we could meet at my place and—“

Blair turned abruptly, stopping him in his tracks. “The only way I’d go to Brooklyn alone is if I was kidnapped and stuffed into the trunk of a car.”

“That was some violent imagery Waldorf,” he had the gall to chuckle. “Your house then?”

“Yes, I’ll be much more comfortable there anyway. You’re welcome.”

“Sunday?”

“Saturday. Sundays are for church and quiet contemplation.”

As Blair walked away, Dan called out, “you go to church?”

“Only when things are going badly,” Blair called back.

She had made him laugh again. She really had to stop doing that.

It was a Saturday night, and instead of spending it out on the town or at the spa for a much needed detox, she was sitting in a twisted knot on a couch next to Dan Humphrey. As they slumped over laptops and paperwork, Dan stretched and took a walk around the room.

“Touch anything and I’ll assume you’re stealing,” Blair said, glancing up and typing away furiously into her keyboard.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, your majesty.” Dan stopped in front of a peculiar painting. “This stuff isn’t that enticing anyway.”

Blair pulled her eyes away from her work and eyeballed the painting. “That ‘stuff’ is probably worth more than your spleen, Humphrey.”

“Really, this?” Dan asked, tapping the gold frame of a rather abstract painting.

Blair stood and walked over to the painting. “Um, yes.”

Dan smirked boyishly. He was testing her. “Who’s the artist then?”

Blair shifted and smoothed her skirt. She stalled and racked her brain for where exactly her mother had gotten that particular painting from.

“Blair?”

Frustrated, she crossed her arms. “I don’t know, sometimes my mother’s greasy fashion apprentices give her art.”

Dan tilted his head and Blair did the same.

“What are we looking at?”

“Well, I think it’s a…jelly bean? Perhaps it’s a commentary on the sugar industry’s monopoly on American bodies.”

“Or it’s a dick. Monet must be rolling in his grave.”

Blair swatted Dan’s shoulder as he laughed like it was the most hysterical thing on Earth. She was starting to see why Nate put up with him. “No it isn’t! Eleanor Waldorf would never let…”

She tilted her head once more.

“Do you see it?” Dan chuckled, now almost in tears.

Blair only rolled her eyes and held back a giggle. “Well, Humphrey, if that’s the first thing you see I’m afraid it says something about your deeply, imbedded homosexuality rather than my art interpretation skills.”

Dan’s face dropped, but he continued to laugh as he nodded. “Hey, who knows? Love is a spectrum.”

Blair returned back to her seat. “How… _liberal_ of you.”

Dorota frolicked in, as she had been doing every hour, to offer Dan more treats. Blair was becoming suspicious of how cozy she was getting to “Mr. Lonely Boy”. It wasn’t like he was going to be around often enough for Dorota to need knowledge about his favorite snacks. As she watched Dan shovel more scones into his face, she continued to pound away at her computer.

Through bites, Dan mumbled, “for someone who wanted to do all of this herself you’re not being very helpful. So far I’ve been the one to secure the venue and contacted all of the alumni and parents.”

“I’m working on my speech. I suggest you do the same, since you’ll be following the amazing first act.”

“Oh, I’m not worried.”

Blair ceased typing, and peaked up at Dan from behind her screen. “Is that so?”

“Yes, I’ve got a lot to say that’ll inspire and bring forth tears.”

Mimicking him, Blair whined, “ _This year has been so hard ever since my true love Serena didn’t want to hold my hand forever, but I got over it and wrote a half-decent short story about my struggles with puppy love._ ”

“You read that?”

Blair straightened, returning to her attention to the laptop’s screen. “I basically _had_ to, she went on about it for days. If anything could ever make me suicidal it was that.”

“Half decent huh? I’ll take it.”

“That was meant to be an insult if you were wondering.”

“Mm I know.” Dan paused for a while returning to his own work until he said, “my speech will still be better than yours.”

Blair only glared at him.

“I mean, what have you had to overcome? What a speech needs is nuance and strife not the run of the mill ‘I’m rich and I will remain rich for the rest of my life’.”

Blair felt like she was going to scream, so she did, and stomped away to the kitchen for a much deserved pint of ice cream. Closing the freezer door, she almost smacked Dan in the face, discovering he was right there behind it. Blair shoved him away and sat on the counter which he ended up leaning against, crossing his arms. A single lamp illuminated the dark kitchen with orange light.

“I’m…I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I’m just frustrated. I had all these goals and now I’m not doing anything I set out to at the beginning of the year.”

Blair stockings seemed to constrict her as her legs hung off the counter. She wished Dan would just leave so she could rip them off and throw herself into something comfortable and fluffy.

“Well, neither am I. I’m sure you remember the debacle with Rachel,” she made a stab in the ice cream, “also, I’ve had plenty to overcome.”

“I know, you’ve had family issues just like I have—“

Blair stabbed her spoon into the ice cream container again and took a bite. “Not just that.”

Dan didn’t press her for answers, he only searched for a spoon and when he found one he hopped up onto the counter next to Blair and dug in himself.

“Do you ever stop eating?” Blair relented, holding in a laugh. For a brief moment she examined his hands, which would’ve been right on her lap if not for the barrier of the ice cream’s container. “You’ve made yourself very at home.”

“Well, when Dorota likes you it’s easy.”

Blair finally laughed. “She calls you ‘Mr. Lonely Boy’. I think she really enjoys the rags to riches trope. Maybe she’s a social ladder climber too.”

“That’s nice, but right now it feels like I’m being dragged by the ladder more than climbing it.”

They were quiet for a while as they ate ice cream in the empty kitchen.

Suddenly Blair felt the urge to bring out the crumpled up paper that had been lying in the pocket of her skirt since fifth period study hall. Gently, she unfolded and read the words.

“Good afternoon. My fellow classmates and I finally reached the end of our high school journey. We are ready to brave the threshold over to adulthood and follow our dreams away from the eyes of our beloved parents and teachers. When I say this I must say it with a twinge of melancholy because, as we leave this place behind, we leave behind pieces of ourselves; the good and the bad.” Blair flipped the page over, skipping all the sentimental crap she wrote as extra meat on the bones of her work. “I can’t say I particularly enjoyed the bad pieces, but they are what make us. I haven’t told many people this, but I had an eating disorder, or I have one, unfortunately, there isn’t a real cure yet. For years, I blamed myself for not being whole, not being enough. However, after learning and re-learning how to love myself, I now know that I can be a complex set of characters and puzzle pieces that fit together not only to make something that is whole and full but something that is quite like a tapestry; vastly intricate and insightful. I only hope you all find that same realization within yourself. To restrict and pigeon hole yourself to one dark day, one simple tragedy, is to stop living and, for the sake of our loved ones and ourselves, we must never stop _living_.”

Dan only stared at her. His eyes were foggy, but not to a point where tears were welling up.

“That was—”

She cleared her throat, turning away from him, slightly embarrassed. Blair showed few people her writing unedited and raw. “Maybe I’ll add something about my parents’ divorce if we’re going to be racking up sympathy points.”

Dan took his own speech from his pocket, jumped from the counter, and dropped the paper in the garbage disposal.

“Humphrey!” Blair exclaimed, her eyes wide, “I thought we had a wager going!”

Dan shrugged, “I’m sure we’ll happen upon another competition. You win this time.”

He carefully took the ice cream from Blair and put it back in the freezer. “Let’s take a break before you bite my head off. What do you want to do? It can be anything. Be warned, this is a once in a lifetime offer seeing as we despise each other.”

Blair thought for a moment, “Well, Humphrey, that’s much more civilized, unlike your hair.”

“This hair?”

“You look like a Muppet. Fozzy Bear, to be exact.”

“What do you suggest I do with it?”

Blair grinned and whisked him upstairs.

By the end of the night, Dan and Blair were in ridiculous, fluffy robes listening to some obscure rock band on full blast and having somewhat of a spa night. Blair, with a cucumber, aloe-mask gracing her face and her hair tied up in a white turban, worked diligently to pluck Dan’s eyebrows. He howled in pain with every individual pluck, but for some reason, was still apt and ready to endure it.

“Stop squirming. I’m almost done.”

“What is the point of this?” Dan asked, wincing.

“To make you look like less of a Sasquatch.” She grabbed his face. “Hold still.”

“This is the weirdest way I’ve ever spent a Saturday night.” Despite his whining, Dan listened and didn’t move. “You know, a great woman once said she wouldn’t be this close to me without a tetanus shot.”

Blair stood back and admired her craftsmanship. “Thank you for finally acknowledging that I am in fact a great woman.”

While Dan ran his hands over his newly cleaned eyebrows, Blair pulled out a razor and scissors.

“No,” Dan said.

“Don’t worry Humphrey. You’re in excellent hands.”

“Can I call someone before you slit my throat?”

“Such a drama queen…”

Soon, Dan and Blair were situated comfortably in front of Blair’s vanity as she carefully cut and trimmed his hair. Without the aloe-mask interfering with her eyes, she could clearly see the details and contours of his head. She tried her best to remember the tutorials her father had given her when cutting the parts he couldn’t reach. A Bright Eyes song played over her stereo and she couldn’t help but notice how he hummed along as he continued to fill out invitations for the Farewell soiree. As he was distracted, she looked at his reflection in the mirror. He wasn’t so bad looking with some basic grooming. Dare she say…

*******

**Present**

He was beautiful. He had always been handsome, attractive perhaps, but he had never been this beautiful. She wanted to blame it on aging but she couldn’t help but feel it was the getting away from the Upper East Side that did it. His hair was a deep, inky black with the whispers of a few upcoming gray hairs and his face was more structured and angular than it had ever been. He stood taller although he wasn’t so muscular any more, no doubt the plight of a writer bound to a desk. And his dark, hazel eyes pierced into her; expectant and glistening. He was beautiful, and she couldn’t say it was because he belonged to her.


	3. Two Proper Nouns Separated By a Conjunction

**Part III**

**“Two Proper Nouns Separated by a Conjunction”**

**Present**

“Waldorf.”

The name hung in the air, stiff and funny sounding, as if it was wrong to say. Yet, it escaped from Dan’s lips like no time had passed at all. Dan took another drag and looked at Blair while she looked at her feet, breathing smoke onto the ground. He almost thought she would cry, but instead, she let out a small laugh.

“Hardly anyone just calls me ‘Waldorf’” she murmured, walking over to the stone ledge and leaning against it. “I mean they do, but usually it’s accompanied with miss, or Madame, or—“

“Your majesty?” Dan ventured, giving her a lopsided smile. It was his best attempt at small talk.

“No, I’m afraid that’s a title that's escaped me.”

As he let the cold stone of the roof graze his skin he couldn’t help but stare. She was gorgeous as ever and it bothered him. She got to be perfectly fine while he was some frail, cucked, version of himself.

“Well, I suppose normal people ask how the other is when they haven’t seen each other in a while.”

Blair smirked, a semblance of superiority remained. “You’re assuming you’re normal now? That just won’t do Humphrey.”

“A lot can change in five years,” Dan said, inhaling. “How are you? How’s _Chuck_?”

He made sure to stress the sound of “ck” as if that would make the name even more malicious than the man himself.

She tensed. “I wouldn’t know.”

“And all this time I was wondering if I should call you Waldorf or _Bass_.” He forced out a pained laugh, trying his best not to sound bitter.

“Waldorf will do just fine.”

“Interesting. You know I hear Chuck is doing pretty well these days.”

“Well, you would know better than me. You practically work for a glorified, corporate Gossip Girl now.”

He couldn’t help but grin. “You’ve kept tabs on me?”

“Hardly.”

“How 2007 of you. I can’t say I’m surprised, but I am very flattered.”

“Well you’ll want to get flattery wherever you can find it. I’m sure it doesn’t come with writing puff pieces about fake feminism and ‘what your star sign says about you’.”

She had struck a nerve even though she had sort of gotten it right. It was just like Blair to 'get things right'. “That’s only a fraction of what my publication does.”

“Wow, what a compelling defense for _pop_ literature. Bravo.”

“Well I think what I do is better than having an obligatory and vapid career for the rest of my life.”

Dan’s cigarette had fizzled out and dropped out of his hand, although he wasn’t sure when. They faced each other now, he wasn’t sure when he had abandoned his avoidant eye contact either. He looked into her fiery brown eyes filled with something close to hate. He never imagined they would fight, seeing each other for the first time again, although he had imagined cursing her out every few years.

“Vapid?!”

“Tell me, Blair, how’s the career of ‘authoritative woman number two’ going?”

“Much better than yours it seems.”

“I’m glad to hear it! With all of that and a rich husband I guess there’s nothing left to do but grow fat and push out a few equally as spoiled babies.”

She slapped him. A real slap. Dan touched his cheek and, as he expected, it was hot and stung from the contact, tingled even. It was the first time they had touched, the first time _she_ had touched him, in years, and it was a slap. More so, a strike. It was almost like she was trying to bring forth blood, or knock out a few teeth. He knew she could if she wanted to.

Below, Dan heard a few concerned voices calling up at them. He peered over the ledge and saw Serena, Amahle, Nate, Rosey and his family below him. He assumed the other people were friends of Amahle’s.

Serena used her hands as a megaphone like she was talking to a kitten that had gotten stuck in a tree.

“Dan, Blair, are you okay?”

Blair scrunched her nose, and then let out a labored breath.

“We’re fine,” she glanced at Dan’s pink cheek. “Completely fine.”

Nate snickered, balancing a sleeping Rosey in the crook of his arm. “Was there blood B?”

“Only a little I think.” Blair shouted back, smiling innocently. With one last narrowed eyed glare at Dan, she started to walk away to the farther edge of the roof.

Feeling bad, Dan turned. “Hey, wait. Let me help you climb down.”

Blair, turning a corner, and gave that ‘you’re stupid’ sort of look he had and hadn't missed.

“There are stairs around the side.” She disappeared.

Dan fixed his gaze to the grounds below him. The others had lost interest and only Serena and Amahle remained.

Serena, more stressed than she should’ve been, yelled up, “Have you gotten all of your issues out of the way? Because dinner is waiting.” 

“We all have baggage Dan, it's fine,” Amahle offered, “nice to see you again by the way.”

Dan, a little ashamed, hung his head. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

**_At the dining table..._ **

At each head of the table sat Serena and Amahle already back in cheery spirits. On Serena’s right, having fully nursed a hangover, was Lily, rested comfortably against Rufus’ left arm that hung limply on the back of her chair. Across from them, was Cece, gushing over baby Rose, who sat sleepily in Nate’s lap next beside her. At the present moment, Rosey was denying anything that even resembled a vegetable. Next to Amahle, on her left, was her mild-mannered brother who tried to avoid the Eric's flirtatious eyes sitting across from him. Jenny, next to Eric, laughed every so often at her stepbrother's efforts, reminding him he had a boyfriend who would be coming for the wedding. Everyone ignored Amahle’s friend Odessa, who sat across from Jenny, and told mindless stories about sex and baking, getting tipsier and tipsier. It was a fairly messy scene.

Blair was right in the middle, next to Jenny of all people. Somehow in their not-so-old age they had abandoned their constant feuding. Why couldn’t her and Dan abandon their own?

The only available seat was across from Blair. And that, after greeting everyone, is where Dan sat.

Through mouthfuls of steaming pasta Serena chirped, “Wasn’t Jamila supposed to come tonight too?”

Odessa interrupted her own story to respond, “Her flight got canceled. She sends her best though.”

Amahle rolled her eyes, and took a sip of wine, “she could’ve texted me that herself.”

Dan looked around the table, stuffed to the edge with exquisite Italian food. The night hadn’t been completely ruined by his and Blair’s small bout of drama. Spirits were still high, especially with the presence of Rosey’s gurgling and sporadic squeals of delight for different cheeses. But something laid underneath the surface, Dan had been at enough dysfunctional family events to at least observe that, and it was especially apparent with Blair sitting across from him, probably shooting daggers into his skull with her mind. He wasn’t sure. He was having a staring contest with the salad put out in front of him.

Serena did her best to liven the mood. “Dan, you haven’t met Odessa yet, have you?”

Dan turned to the woman next to him. She looked him up and down like he was a piece of meat as she sucked her teeth. He had to admit, with her brown skin, magenta up-do, and neon pink lips she was beautiful even if it was in an oversaturated sort of way.

“Hi, _Dan_.”

Dan gave up his hand to shake and Odessa basically tried to yank him onto her lap.

“So, you’re the writer, and Serena’s old flame?”

He swore he could hear Blair chuckle. He definitely heard Jenny let out a full cackle like she didn’t have any dirty laundry either.

“Yes, I mean I wouldn’t call myself an ‘old flame’, but I am a writer.”

With long, neon blue nails, Odessa drummed the table. “I don’t know what Amahle was talking about. I think you’re gorgeous.”

Rufus wiped his mouth, speaking up, “Amahle, I hope you haven’t been bad-mouthing my son. He’s quite the handsome young man.”

Blair sat back in her chair, wine glass to her lips. It seemed she had gotten a head start. “If pale, shut-ins with little knowledge of proper hair care are your type.”

Cece looked up, finally amused and stimulated. “HA! I’ve missed our Blair.”

Amahle, trying to get control of the situation let out a nervous laugh, “Not at all Rufus, I was just trying to keep him out of Odessa’s claws. She’s a flirt and I know Dan is spoken for.”

“Claws? These cost me forty pounds.”

“I think we can all agree Daniel is very attractive. Right everyone? Let’s go around the table and say something we like about Daniel’s face.” Lily slurred.

“We don’t need to do that,” Dan said, pushing his food around his plate.

Lily guffawed. “Dan, I almost forgot, where is Mei? I was under the impression we would be seeing her.”

“She would love it here son. Can she at least make it for the wedding?” Rufus pressed.

“Mei simply _must_ come for the ceremony!”

Dan wasn’t ready to explain anything. “Maybe, um—“

“Okay, mom that’s enough,” Serena interjected, pushing her mother’s glass away, “Um, over there, hiding behind Odessa, is Amahle’s brother Zane.”

Zane offered a meek wave and went back to his meal.

In a whisper, sounding more like a scream, Cece leaned over to Nate. “The boy doesn’t say much, does he?”

“He’s only like five years younger than me, Cece.” Nate mumbled under his breath.

“Oh, that’s very unfortunate. He needs some calcium. Do they have that where they’re from—?”

“So,” Amahle said rapidly, “I feel like I only know a few of you well enough at this table. I’d love to hear about what everyone’s been up to.”

Jenny began, “well last night I met this guy—“

Eric interrupted, “I think Amahle meant professional things, not your ‘spiritually orgasmic adventures’.”

“Can we please talk about _anything_ else?” Dan groaned, motioning to the waiters for something stronger than wine.

Blair put down her fork authoritatively and rested her chin on the back of her hands like it was still the cutest thing on the planet. It kind of was. Damn it.

“Well, I became head of Waldorf Designs’ marketing department, as some of you might know, and as of last week we’re becoming 100% sustainable and eco-conscious.”

She was met with murmurs of approval as she smiled, no doubt feeling the glow of admiration. For some reason, it surprised Dan to hear she was taking that step. If anything, he had been imagining Blair as an oil-tycoon for the last few years, certainly not an environmentalist.

“That’s impressive,” Dan concluded, swirling around the Scotch in his glass. He didn’t even like whiskey, but it had become his go-to drink in London.

Blair flicked her eyes up at him, satisfied. “Thank you.”

“’Eco-conscious…’ Does that mean you’ll no longer be using Indonesian sweatshops?”

Even the crickets were all but silenced.

Nate reached across the table and poured a splash more of Scotch into Dan’s glass. “Take a day off Earth Warrior.”

Dan remained locked into Blair’s eyes, and she did the same.

“No, it's fine Nate. I _welcome_ these questions,” she leaned forward, “Waldorf Designs has been nothing but respectful and fair to its workers. We have no ‘sweatshops’.”

“The classic capitalists’ lie. You probably don’t even know what’s going on underneath your own nose.”

“I highly doubt that. I’m quite thorough.”

“Thoroughness doesn’t account for those out there in the field doing your dirty work.”

Jenny attempted to diffuse the situation. “Blair, I’ve been freelancing so if you ever need a new designer on board I’d love an interview. I’ve actually been reading about what you’ve been doing and—“

“I have been to every manufacturer and branch, doing my part to keep people safe and provide jobs. What do _you_ do besides complain and burn incense with your hippie girlfriend?”

Rufus intervened, “why don’t we talk about something more light?”

“Politics perhaps?” Eric offered, sarcastically.

“Mm, I’m sure we all know who Blair voted for last election.”

“Really? Who did I vote for Humphrey? Enlighten us.”

“Two words Waldorf: Donald. Trump.”

The name brought forth groans from everyone.

Blair slammed her palms on the table, and stood. “You take that back! You know Hillary Clinton is one of my idols, and I’m not a screaming racist!”

Amahle laughed awkwardly and raised her cup. “Let’s hope not!”

Serena shook her head discreetly at her fiancé. She hadn’t chosen the best tactic. They were already on a runaway train.

Dan followed Blair’s lead and stood, shaking his glass at her. “I _also_ know that you’ve rubbed elbows with Ivanka and Jared so, you do the math.”

His voice small, Nate said, “to be fair, we’ve all rubbed shoulders with Ivanka and Jared, we had the same zip code for a while.”

Jenny frowned. “ _I_ haven’t rubbed their elbows.”

“Me neither. You Americans are so obsessed with rich white people.” Odessa shrugged and, it was only a few seconds later that she realized she was preaching to the wrong choir.

Cece swooned. “Ugh, they’re _such_ good kids, if you overlook their father, of course.”

“Is that it Dan? You’re still playing ‘outsider’? Still _reeling_ over the fact that you'll never be one of us?”

They both leaned across the table, their faces inches away. He could feel the heat on her face; smell the wine on her breath.

“Don’t worry Blair. I was doing just fine without you.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page because I certainly didn’t lose any sleep over _you_.”

“Same. Here.”

“Good.”

Dan gritted his teeth. “Great.”

“Fantastic!” She always had to get the last word in, didn’t she?

All around the table everyone was quiet. Odessa, seeming a bit delighted by the drama, continued to eat and drink, but everyone else remained still as if a bomb was about to go off. Well, it just did.

Dan knocked back the rest of his drink, grabbed the bottle of Scotch, and walked away into the house.

*******

**February, 2011**

When she let go of his hand he still remained where he was, next to her, as she quietly cried. Blair wasn’t ready to get back to the party just yet, having once again been embarrassed by letting her heart break for Chuck. She ran her hands down her dress, trying to smooth out an invisible crease on the sequined fabric. It was the only conceivable thing to focus on in a room filled with empty, dusty space and Dan Humphrey.

Blair felt a weight lift from the couch. She let herself look up to see Dan had crossed the room to examine a piano against the wall opposite her. He was always one to scamper off and explore. The piano was simple, brown, and did not at all match the extravagance of the room. Dan played a few keys; chords. Blair chuckled as he stumbled his way through C major, and when he hit his final sore note, she joined him at the piano bench. He smiled at her, but still said nothing.

Blair didn’t dare to make direct eye contact and instead played a simple tune. It was one of the only songs she remembered from her dad’s past, compulsive days, when he demanded she become more than proficient playing at least one musical instrument. The part of the song she knew was sweet, if not melancholy, and high pitched. As she played it out, Dan joined in on the other half of the piano. Every so often, their hands bumped into each other on their way to a certain key. Once the song was over, she felt silly for being surprised at Dan’s musical skill. It made sense he would know how to play, having a skilled musician for a father. She wondered what it must have been like to grow up in a house filled with artists.

Without the small distraction of music, she felt her sadness wash over her again. The tears, having saved themselves up in her eyes, began to fall as they had before. Blair glanced at Dan and gave him an apologetic pout of her lips. They weren’t these kinds of friends, if they even were friends. They were the kind who bantered and fought and brought out the competitive antagonist in the other. They weren’t those people who shared their feelings, much less cried in the other’s presence. Yet, there she was, tears streaming down her face in front of Humphrey. She was pathetic.

As Blair started to call herself pathetic out loud, Dan silenced her, taking the edge of his thumb and gently wiping the tears from her face. It seemed like a normal, perfunctory gesture; like he had done it a thousand times. From a mere touch, she felt a small shock, just on her cheek where he had brushed over a wet spot. He offered another smile, this time a sheepish one, and turned back to piano as if he had just done something he shouldn’t have. Maybe that was the case, but Blair didn’t care much. She needed someone.

Resting her head on his shoulder, Blair let out a small sigh and placed her idle fingers on the piano. Dan leaned into her to support her neck, and for a brief moment, Blair swore she could feel his lips gingerly graze the top of her head. He was warmer than she imagined and soft too. It was almost too pleasant.

“It's best we never speak of this again,” she said.

“Agreed.”

A silence ensued.

“Happy Valentines’ Day,” Dan mumbled finally.

Blair closed her eyes. “Yes, Happy Valentine’s Day.”

It was back to banter and brawling the very next day, just how Blair liked it.


	4. The Game is On

**Part IV**

**“The Game is On”**

**Present**

Dan woke up with quite the hangover and a headache. Its pounding could’ve put out the power to every home in Italy. The metaphor it inspired didn’t even make sense. He shut his eyes tight as soon as a sliver of sun peeked in and adjusted his aching back on the cot Serena had brought up for him. He could’ve shared the bed with Nate, but Rosey would’ve been in the mix and it was just too odd for his first night in Tuscany.

“I had the worst dream,” Dan groaned. “I was in that hotel Chuck had bought all those years ago and Blair basically came up to me and chopped my nuts off. That’s a sign right—?“

“Yes,” a woman’s voice said, “dreams are a way for our spirit guides to contact us.”

Dan’s eyes burst open and he finally saw a rather tall, Hispanic woman standing over him, holding Rosey in one arm and a suitcase in the other. He sat up and pulled his sheets up to his chin.

Rosey gurgled a hello and the woman smiled.

“Um, hi.”

She extended her hand, letting her suitcase fall on the floor. Dan took it, and they had a firm handshake, so firm it might’ve broken his hand if he had kept it in hers any longer.

“Ines Gonzalez.”

Nate rushed in, balancing a coffee and some sort of green juice on a tray and kissed the woman on her cheek, which she responded to by giving him an odd, feral stare. He appeared a lot more casual, wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap, but his demeanor was serious and longing as he came into the presence of Ines.

Holding Rosey, she hissed, “We did not settle on PDA.”

Nate shrugged and handed Dan the green juice. “Seemed settled last night when I picked you up from the airport.”

“It may have _seemed_ that way but that doesn’t mean anything until we discuss it,” the woman responded sternly, but cracked a smile at the sight of Nate’s puppy dog eyes.

It dawned on Dan that he was interrupting something. “I’m Dan, by the way. Dan Humphrey. Daniel if you want...but I prefer you didn't.”

“I know who you are Danielle.”

He cleared his throat and didn't bother to correct the woman. “Yeah. Sorry we’re meeting like this.” He cracked open the green juice and reluctantly gulped it down, hoping it would fix his monster hangover. He tried not to think about the exposure of his own nipples in front of a woman he barely knew.

“This is disgusting. Is this just straight spinach?”

“Serena’s mad at you for missing breakfast so she had the chef whip that up.” Nate said, taking Rosey from Ines’ arms and putting her in a pink, frilly stroller.

Ines remained where she was, staring down at Dan. The woman, with her slicked back ombre hair, and thin, red lips looked academic and authoritative. She was gloomily dressed in black. Dan had no idea what she what she was doing with Nate who had the sun shining out of his ass. They seemed like polar opposites.

“So…”

“Get out of our room. If you don’t, I’ll put a curse on you.” Ines sharply responded, and then she strutted into the bathroom without another word.

Nate turned from his efforts of buckling Rosey in and stared after Ines, who had locked the door behind herself. He looked over at a baffled Dan and grinned.

“She’s got a weird sense of humor.”

Dan sat up, with a considerable amount of discomfort, and rubbed his eyes. “No kidding.”

“Although we will be kicking you out.”

“Where am I supposed to go?”

“Your room.”

“I don’t _have_ a room, remember?”

“Well, now you do. Come on.”

“Let me get my luggage.”

Nate reached to the top of the dresser and in his hand emerged a shirt, which he threw to Dan. “Ines may have already put it all outside.”

The trio, including Rosey, walked outside of the room and, sure enough, there were Dan’s things clumsily stuffed into his suitcases and thrown into a pile.

Dan sighed. “She seems nice.”

“No…she doesn’t.” Nate said.

The man was positively giddy. Dan was starting to think Ines might actually have magical powers.

It felt like a whole hike to get to his new room. In what the happy couple were calling the “West Wing”, were two hallways branching off one another where the Van der Humphrey block of rooms were. Apparently, Serena still had her hopeful streak, because she had set aside a room especially for Dan well before he had arrived. Being in the back side of the house, it had a great view of the grounds and beyond. Dan began to dump his things in drawers, no method to it, and crashed down onto his bed, an arm draped over his eyes. Nate stood in the corner, twirling Rosey around in her stroller.

Dan propped himself up on his elbows and watched the two. “Fatherhood sort of suits you.”

“You sound surprised.” Nate said with a click of his tongue.

“No…” Dan laughed, “Okay, maybe a little. I just imagined you’d live the bachelor life forever.”

Nate shrugged. “That life can get lonely man. But there's still time. Who knows”

"'Who know?'" Dan repeated, resuming his lying down. “That phrase invokes such anxiety in me.”

“Join the club my friend.”

“Where is everyone anyway? Are they all hiding from secondhand embarrassment?”

Nate smiled, Dan supposed it was amusing for his friend to have two whiny babies to take care of now. “No, most of them are out on the back lawn. We’re having a soccer match and I think Cece is sleeping off her hangover too. So you two finally have something in common!”

Dan crawled off the bed, lethargically, and went over to the window, peering into the field. Sure enough, everyone was running happily into the open space, putting down picnic blankets and white lawn chairs.

“Is this what we’re gonna do?” Dan asked, his face still directed at the window, “Lounge around in the sun all day and play games?”

“Does that sound unappealing to you?”

“No, it sounds nice. And I don’t want to ruin it with my weird thing with Blair.”

“Oh come on, you’ve always had a weird thing with Blair.”

Dan turned. “I have?”

“Sure, it’s a part of your charm. The will-they won’t-they of it all.”

“You mean; will they or won’t they kill each other?”

Nate snorted, “I guess so.”

Dan shook his head, laughing.

“Look, if you want to make the most of your time here, get dressed and join us.”

“What if I just leave?”

“Then you’ll do exactly what everyone expects.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ll be the ultimate 'outsider', which you’re _not_.”

Nate backed Rosey out of the room and went on his way.

Dan looked out of the window one more time. There Blair was, in all of her candle-like wonderment, running besides Serena, laughing like she hadn’t basically ripped out every ounce of self-esteem he had earned back in the past five years last night. He pressed his head against the glass. She seemed freer than she had been before, possibly more at ease, but he wouldn’t really know if he stayed in his room all day or left for the airport. Dan settled on taking a shower. He was sweating booze.

*******

Basically, Blair would avoid the problem until it went away. Although she had distanced herself from this particular way of existing, a special case had come up, one with thrifted clothes and five dollar aftershave. She wasn’t prepared to let Dan, of all people, distract her from her maid of honor duties, so she was just going to lean into the fun, free spirited energy of the estate. The least she could do was play games, eat good food, and ignore Humphrey. It was in everyone’s best interest that she did. Blair wasn’t quite sure what had ignited all the arguing that had gone on the night before. She wanted to chalk it up to jet lag and alcohol, however, she knew that wasn’t a plausible answer. Little did she let her mind wander to her old flames, but when it did, she always imagined Dan would welcome her with open arms, or at least an impressed handshake. She had changed so much, mostly with him in mind, and last night she reduced herself back to bad-Blair; the girl who sought revenge and held grudges. She had no grudges to hold. Well, she hoped she didn’t. It probably wouldn’t matter, as he was prone to doing, Dan would go fetal, and run away, and not be heard from again until maybe Nate got married to Ines or something.

Ines was interesting. As Blair sat on the picnic blanket, under the flimsy, lace umbrella Rufus had set up, she examined the woman. She played with Rosey’s pudgy fingers. She was sort of severe and seemed to borrow her style from a modernized Morticia Adams. As Blair talked to her she learned she was smart too, ironic almost to a fault, and cold when it came to everyone else but her family, which seemed to include Nate. Blair, being as protective as usual, tried to find faults in her but the only one seemed to be her small obsession with witchcraft. Weirdly enough, Blair could get over that too, if it meant letting Ines hex Dan before he gave her any gray hairs.

In her thick Spanish accent, snapping Blair from her thoughts, Ines drawled, “you’re a fashion designer, yes?”

“I run part Waldorf Design, so I guess in a way I am. I’ve dabbled in it.”

“Waldorf Design? Ah, your partners are suing you.”

Blair looked around, wildly, and realizing Cece was half asleep under her sun hat, she felt it safe to speak. “Yes. How’d you know?”

“I work in a corporate law firm. We hear things.” Ines whispered, catching on to Blair discrepancy.

“Impressive.”

“No, it’s not. I want a change to pro-bono. I work with stupid, stupid men.”

“Don’t we all?”

Ines cackled. “Yes,” Blair followed Ines’ gaze and landed on Nate. The woman smiled blissfully, “very stupid men.”

“Are you and Nate… an item?”

Ines gave Rosey a gentle push to go join her father and picked up her chilled cosmo. “No. I cannot do that to him. Not really.”

“Do what?”

“I…love does not come from obligation and he is obligated to me. I don’t want that. I want him to… _choose_ me. You see? It is the greatest thing for someone to choose you, the spirits willing.”

Blair blinked, and she nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I think I know what you mean.”

From ahead, Blair heard louds whoops and yelling. When she looked up, there was Dan, walking into the field like he belonged there. He almost looked like he did, wearing tan trousers and a billowy, blue t-shirt that was too big for him; bits and pieces tucked into his pants. On his feet were old Nikes not those ridiculous loafers he had arrived with. He didn’t at all look like the man she had met on the rooftop the other night, the one who was uptight, aged, and commanding, although the bags under his eyes said otherwise. The others greeted him, as if they too thought he wouldn’t show, and included him in the game.

“This man was in my room this morning,” Ines said with a shake of her head, “he talks in his sleep.”

Blair laughed, “I know. He never shuts up.”

“Ah, you are friends?”

Blair only gave Ines a distracted nod.

The game began, the first round equating to a bunch of headless chickens running around. Jenny, only being involved for the chance to look fashion forward in a sporty outfit, hardly participated, and Rufus kept complaining about back issues. However, after a few rounds, and many interventions from Amahle’s expertise, the game picked up and everyone became more intense and involved. Nate and Zane had a good rivalry going, although Dan was rising in the ranks for “best player” as long as he wasn’t standing next to Odessa. The woman was just about ready to pounce on Humphrey. Not that Blair cared. She kept herself busy cheering on Serena and Amahle, who made a more than amazing team, and discouraged the others.

After one particularly nasty burn Nate yelled, from across the field, “Really Blair? After all we’ve been through?”

“I’m all for the ladies!”

Serena and Amahle looked at each other and laughed hysterically, “Us too!”

“Alright they have an unfair advantage,” Eric said pointedly, taking a moment to squat down.

Amahle crossed her arms. “And what would that be?”

“You have lesbian telepathy. It’s a thing. I just know it,” Eric responded, now lying down in the grass.

Serena whipped her head in Eric’s direction, “What?!”

Rufus managed a wheeze. “Get up Eric, you’ll get stitches.

“Maybe you should sit down, Dad,” Dan said, wiping sweat from his brow.

“Never,” Rufus seethed, as he reached for the glass of water Lily had brought for him.

“One shouldn’t be ashamed to admit defeat,” Cece sang, as she laughed at the boys’ expense.

Blair grinned, “Exactly. I think the game has been won.”

Serena, Amahle, Odessa, and Jenny began to cheer, but Dan interrupted, squinting at Blair in the sun.

“Who appointed you referee?”

Blair scrunched up her face and did her best to ignore him, looking elsewhere.

He pushed for her attention. “I say, unless you’ve played, you can’t intervene.”

Nate and he butt bumped thereafter, which made Blair’s blood boil even more. She glanced down at her outfit. She was definitely not dressed for an intense game of soccer in her puffy, white frock and whicker, garden hat. But she couldn’t let that get in her way. Besides, one last battle couldn’t hurt. So she stood and literally put her hat into the ring

“Alright. I’ll play.”

Serena’s smile melted from her face while Dan only looked amused, and thankfully a little threatened. “Blair, are you sure that’s a good idea? Playing barefoot is risky.”

Blair positioned herself in Jenny’s place. The girl had already tapped out and was headed to the pool with Ines and Rosey.

“Yeah, S,” Blair narrowed her eyes, “it’s all in good fun.”

“Okay, but the way you said that tells me it’s _not_ all in good fun.”

Nate was already gearing up for a win. “Whatever, let’s do this!”

Zane groaned, “Based on recent events, I feel like she plays dirty.”

“She certainly does,” Dan muttered.

Everything started out fairly normal, everyone taking it easy on Blair because of her attire. Soon, however, as she seemed to gain the upper hand, the game became elevated and strenuous. The girls were up by two points, although the boys wouldn’t let that go on for long. “Boys” would exclude Eric, who was mostly standing on the sidelines yelling, “pass me the ball!” but not really knowing what to do when he had it. Once they were a few rounds in, the play became trickier and rules started to have little meaning, especially since their moderators were off splashing around in the pool.

After Dan got a different soccer ball from the one they were playing with, and started scoring with that, Blair’s reservations went out the window. In the next minute, she crawled under his legs and stole the ball from between his feet, risking a kick to the face. In return, Dan lifted her up as she was running with the ball so Nate could steal it away. Blair retaliated later, and jumped on his back, blocking his vision with her hands, so Odessa could score freely. By the time they were all tired out, it was late in the afternoon and they were sweaty and covered in mud. Blair and Dan looked like they had been rolling around in dirt all day more than anyone. Nate was on the ground, Eric had gone for a shower, Rufus had retreated into the house for some ibuprofen, and Serena and Amahle leaned against the goals slumped down and tired. Odessa and Zane were in fetal positions, quite possibly scarred by Amahle’s competitive new family. Blair stomped up to Dan and they faced off in the middle of the field.

Breathless, Blair tucked her sweaty hair behind her ear. “Do you retreat?”

“Retreat? This isn’t war, it's soccer,” Dan managed, clutching his stomach. "But NO. Team USA will never retreat."

“This stopped being soccer a long time ago,” Serena mumbled.

“It’s called futbol, and I though we were team Nicaragua.” Zane whimpered, rocking back and forth.

Nate, cheek plastered to the grass, yelled, “Jesus Christ, _we retreat_.”

Blair enthusiastically cheered while the rest of her team let out yawns and limp fist pumps.

Grabbing her fiancé’s hand, Serena smiled. “Care for a dip, anyone?”

Amahle giggled, “Yes ma’am.”

With that, the pair began to strip down to their underwear and head to the pool, which had been vacated by those who were there before. The others in the field followed suit and soon they were enjoying a well-deserved soak.

Blair sat on the pool’s edge, dirt melted off her overworked feet and disappeared into the water. She only hoped someone would clean it later. Glancing up, Blair watched as Amahle and Serena playfully splashed each other, kissing when those splashes were too rough. Everyone and everything around them was equally as jocular and whimsical with the strings of fairy lights and upbeat music playing in the background. Blair felt like she was at a high school party, although without the added stress she always felt having been the host of those parties. She smiled to herself. All day she had hardly thought of work, minus the slight mention of her current troubles. For once, she was having fun and it wasn’t tied to any sort of malicious intent of psychological torment. Her younger self would probably look at her with wonderment, although she wouldn’t be very taken with the continuous fits with Humphrey.

As if on cue, he swam up to Blair and crossed his arms over the pool’s edge to anchor himself next to her. He raked a hand through the mop on his head and rested his chin on the stone floor.

“Good game Waldorf.”

Blair continued to stare straight ahead, since he didn’t deserve her eye contact just yet.

“I know.”

Dan closed his eyes for a moment, he must’ve been tired from the butt-whooping. “I’ve been an asshole.”

“Wow, you’re two for two Humphrey.”

“I’m sorry.”

It always confused Blair how Dan could so easily apologize when it was like pulling teeth to her. “I suppose I could’ve been more gracious too.”

Dan chuckled, it was likely he knew that had taken everything in her, “’gracious’ was never in our repertoire and I don’t think it will be.”

“Well, if that’s the case, then I must tell you pool chlorine and onion-y body odor isn’t your scent Humphrey.”

He took a long sniff. “You too. I would wear some deodorant for the rematch if I were you.”

Before she could react, Dan went off to go mess around with Nate as he tried to get Zane out of his shell by pulling him into the pool. She still fantasized about Dan getting sucked into an ocean’s whirlpool. But the thought wasn’t as prevalent as it used to be. So that was something.


	5. Born Liars

**Part V**

**“Born Liars”**

**Present**

The next night, dinner was different from the disaster that had occurred on Blair’s first day at the Van der Woodsen-Khumalo estate. The meal was lively, intimate even, since Lily, Rufus, and Cece had gone off into town to meet up with some of Lily’s past associates, whatever that meant. There was finally a chance for everyone to get to know their new family and friends without the prying eyes of Serena’s parents and Cece’s, sometimes valid, judgements. At the present moment, Blair found herself engrossed in a bottle of fruity champagne and Odessa’s story of Amahle’s misadventures from youth.

“So, in the end, we had to go to her father, covered in ketchup and chicken feathers, and beg for the money to pay the guy back.”

Amahle covered her face, mortified, “I wish you had saved that one for the wedding babes.”

“I couldn’t wait,” Odessa snickered.

“And I’m so glad she didn’t,” Serena gasped, almost having laughed herself to tears.

Zane poured himself another drink, he was a lot more forbearing with a little alcohol in his system, same as all of them.

“Okay, that one wins for ‘most embarrassing story’, right?”

Blair shrugged, “oh, I don’t know, Serena’s got a few drug stories that could—“

“She’s joking!” Serena said rapidly, shaking her head at Blair.

Blair tilted her head at Serena, wondering what her best friend was getting at. “Oh, come on S we’ve got some _soiled_ laundry…“

“Don’t worry Blair, you don’t have to lie for me.”

“I—“

Amahle took Serena’s hand and gave it a smooch. “Don’t be so ashamed of your purity darling, I love it.”

Dan nearly choked on his bread and Nate almost laughed himself to cardiac arrest as he tried to hold it in. Jenny just rolled her eyes and looked at Eric who was suddenly very interested in his pasta. Blair couldn’t believe Serena was concealing her rich past from Amahle. It was a part of who she was, who they all were, whether they liked it or not.

“Oh please, remember that party and—“

For some reason, Dan came to Serena’s rescue. “I think we’ve all done some strange things.”

“I haven’t,” Eric said, taking a sip of brandy. “you guys are just extremely melodramatic.”

Nate laughed. “Good point,” he raised his glass, “to melodrama and mistakes.”

“It is those things that maketh man and womankind,” Dan finished, tapping his glass against Nate’s.

The rest of the meal started to decline into a fairly normal one until desert when Ines expressed her curiosities in a séance-like fashion.

“You know, I feel this strong energy between you two,” she said pointing two bony fingers at Blair and Dan.

“Oh anyone can see that,” Eric chuckled, “its called mutual loathing.”

Blair stretched for the bottle of vino, snatching it from Dan. “Exactly, Eric. Enough said.”

“No, it’s more than that. There is a passion, no?”

Odessa, the hypersexual minx she was, nodded vigorously. “You are _so_ right Ines. What else would explain Dan’s ignorance of my advances?”

“That would be social anxiety Odessa,” Nate replied, peering distractedly into the house to make sure Rosey was still asleep on the couch.

Dan tried to stammer out an explanation, “I'm going through an emotionally loaded break up right now. And Blair and I....We’re just, um…”

“Old friends,” Serena said, helping him out until she followed it with, “who dated briefly.”

Zane scoffed. “That explains _so_ much.”

Ines beamed. “The plot thickens.”

“No, the plot certainly does not ‘thicken’,” Blair sniped, “It was ages ago.”

Jenny pressed her fingertips to her temples. “That was such a betrayal. I still can’t believe you two _dated_.”

Nate rested his chin on Ines’ shoulder. “No one could.”

“It was very poorly received by the fans,” Eric added.

Dan chugged his beer. “Well, lucky for the ‘fans’, we’re not together anymore and we won't be any time soon.”

“Yes, lucky them,” Blair said, downing her own drink.

“You two must have many juicy stories for such an ‘odd pair’.” Ines was basically licking her lips. Blair feared her and Dan gave off too much spiritual “juju” for this to be a short part of the dinner chit chat.

“We do.”

Blair glared at Dan. “We do?”

“Sure, isn’t this what old friends do, recount tales of the past?”

“You can spare me the walk down memory lane Humphrey.”

Amahle leaned forward, eyes glistening. “No, please, take us down memory lane.”

“Nate, save me,” Blair begged.

“He is a writer, let him tell us a story.” Nate smiled.

“Don’t worry Waldorf, I’ll pick a PG one.”

“And _I_ will rip out your tongue…”

Dan grinned, settling into his seat, “I think I’ll call this one, “The Greatest Heist”.”

“Dumb name…”

*******

**February, 2011**

_“It was 2011 and Blair had invited me to lunch, which either meant she had some life threatening illness or she wanted something. Anyone want to guess which one it was?”_

_“Humphrey, as I recall, I was the one who was always being asked to perform favors and run schemes—“_

_“It was a favor.” Jenny interrupted._

_“Precisely, Jen.”_

*******

“Thank you for meeting with me Humphrey,” Blair said, sitting down hastily and trying to catch the attention of a waiter.

Through a mouth already stuffed with chicken sandwich, Dan said, “I already ordered your usual. It’ll be out soon.

Blair rolled her eyes. “Normally, I would chastise you for being rude and ordering without me, but there are more pressing matters at hand.”

“Lose a glove did we?” Dan asked, laughing at his own joke.

Blair snatched the ketchup bottle from his hand. “I would never lose a glove: I’m not as careless as you. Now, will you stop eating—“

A waiter came by and set down a steaming plate of waffles and bacon in front of her.

“You do realize it's noon, don’t you Cabbage Patch?” Blair speared her fork into a waffle.

“You mean did I learn how to tell time at a basic level? Yes.”

Blair had already taken a bite. “Well, why did you get me breakfast food?”

It was interesting how Blair ate her food, separating each component into their own areas and then immediately mixing it up and going in like a wolf. It was kind of like she had put the waffles at war with the bacon and then joined them again in a blueberry syrup peace treaty. Dan couldn’t help but find it just the tiniest bit adorable.

“You always skip breakfast and waffles are good any time of the day,” Dan said.

With chipmunk cheeks, Blair nodded. “This will do, I suppose. Anyway, we have something to discuss.”

Leaning forward, Dan smirked. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes,” Blair took a break from attacking her food to take a sip of water. “So remember how I used to work for W Magazine?”

“Rings a bell, since I worked there too.”

“That’s irrelevant. As I was saying, before I left—“

“You mean ‘got fired’?”

“… _slash_ quit, I asked Beverly—one of the editors, to have Stefano write me a letter of recommendation.”

_Now_ she had Dan’s attention. “That’s impossible. He never does that.”

“Yes, for anyone but Blair Waldorf. My glowing recommendation from the head of W Magazine is lying dusty and unused somewhere in Beverly’s desk.”

“How do you know it’s a ‘glowing’ recommendation?”

“I wrote it myself. All Stefano had to do was sign it, and he did,” Blair chided gleefully.

“Okay...” Dan sat back. “Why don’t you call Beverly and ask for it then?”

“I did. She basically told me I didn’t deserve it anymore, which is rich coming from someone who sleeps in her office all day.” Blair put down her fork and folded her hands together. “There’s only one thing to do Dan.”

“Cry? Perhaps buy a Louis bag to feel better?” he teased.

“All good suggestions but no. We’re going to steal the letter back.”

“Who’s _we_?”

“Humphrey, you don’t understand what that letter could do for me, the _doors_ it would open.”

“Trust me Blair, I understand better than anyone else. I would love to have that sort of connection, but breaking and entering is too much for my taste.”

The waiter came by again to ask them how they were, obviously interrupting Blair’s second strings of rants. When he was gone, she leaned forward even more, grabbing his hands tightly.

Blair pleaded, “Dan, please.”

She really knew how to make him melt into a sentimental puddle of goo.

“What’s in it for me? What do I get out of this situation besides possible imprisonment?” he huffed.

Blair shifted her eyes away, sipping her water once more and reclining in her chair.

“Blair…?”

Her eyes continued to dart about and he was starting to wonder if she was having a small seizure.

“Blair Cornelia Waldorf. What?”

She set down her glass decidedly. “I might have asked Beverly to have Stefano sign a recommendation letter for you too. And he _might_ have signed it.”

“HE DID?!”

The restaurant became silent for a moment as people looked at Dan with surprise and quiet Upper East Side disgust.

“Sorry,” Dan said to the other tables and then braced himself on their own. “Why would you do that? You hate me.”

“At the time I thought I would need blackmail…”

“Figures.”

“You were proving to be a formidable foe and I have enough on my plate as it is!”

Dan bit the inside of his cheek. “So there’s a letter that has my name and Stefano’s name in the same…holy shit—“

“Exactly. Now, breaking into W and stealing some files; are you in or are you out?” Blair extended her hand as if they were making a business deal.

Dan took it. “I’m in.”

*******

_Blair was positively wine-drunk. “You act as if I made you sell your soul to the devil.”_

_“That’s what being friends with you was like.”_

 ***** ******

That night Dan did as he was told and met Blair outside the building across from W’s. He waited for her for what seemed like hours until she crept up behind him in what seemed to be a full, black, velvet jumpsuit. A beret sat at the top of her head. Dan looked down at his dark jeans and dingy, yellow “Brooklyn” sweatshirt. He wasn’t sure which one of them was dressed more inappropriately for the occasion.

“What is this ensemble? Are you planning to flip through a laser security system, Cat Woman?”

Blair tilted her head confused, “It’s spy attire.” She evaluated his outfit, frowning. “This is a stealth mission Humphrey, we have to lurk in the shadows not [in a New York accent] go for a slice, badda bing, badda boom!”

“Is that what you think regular New Yorkers sound like?”

“Yes the working class have a certain flavor to their accent: don’t they?

“If we’re being stealthy we should blend in, look _normal."_ Dan dropped his head. “Wait, I forgot who I was talking to.”

Becoming robotic, Blair touched her chin like a Barbie doll. “Blend…in? Normal…?”

Laughing Dan gave Blair a slight nudge as they crossed the street. “Okay, let’s just do this before I die having a panic attack.”

“Don’t worry Humphrey, as usual, I have a plan.”

“Mm, those have such a high success rate,” he remarked sarcastically.

The building was mostly dark, save for the lobby where the security guards resided. Blair had been thorough, making sure everyone would have gone home for the day. As the pair of them entered the lobby, Blair whispered to Dan to get the guards to go elsewhere while he got the key to the elevator. Dan wasn’t sure why he had this task, given his sweaty palms and tendency to ramble, but Blair was quite persuasive and already on her way to the elevators, awaiting the key card that would activate them.

Dan cleared his throat, catching the attention of two security guards, the other two in a back room watching a baseball game. They must’ve been really bored, because it was probably from the 80s.

“I’m sorry sir, we thought we had locked the front doors. The building is closed.”

“Um, I know.”

“Alright, then I’ll have to ask you to step outside. You can come in tomorrow.”

Glancing over at a frantic Blair, hidden behind a plant, Dan spurted, “No!”

“No?”

“I—my name is Oliver Twi—ft. I’m Oliver Swift, hi. I forgot my key card at home and I need to get in the building. I have some very important files and my boss will kill me…”

“You work here?”

“Uh, yes! You can look me up in the system. It’s ‘Swift’ with two fs. Look, my boss is Beverly—“

Groans and grumbles of disapproval erupted from the back room.

“We know her.”

“Yeah, she’s a real…bitch(?) Anyway, I accidentally threw away the assignment she gave me and I don’t have a copy, so I was wondering if I could just get in the back room and take a look in some of the bins.”

“That sucks man I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is.”

The security guard shared a look with his buddies. “That woman’s a nightmare.”

“Ha! Don’t need to tell me twice.” Dan didn’t like how good he was getting at this character.

“Oftentimes if the janitors see something in the trash that looks important they’ll put it in the lost and found. Why don’t I look for you?”

“Really? That would be great, thank you!”

“Sure thing.”

The man disappeared into the back room and closed the door. Dan drummed his hands on the front counter and peeked over it. Below him he saw a cluster of key cards hanging on hooks. Flipping through them, he tried to find the right one, but with the loud television blaring in the next room and Blair’s incessant hisses of impatience he decided to just grab all of them.

Pretending to leave by opening the door he yelled, “You know what, I’m gonna go!”

“You sure?” the security guard yelled back.

Dan didn’t answer and instead ran towards Blair and the elevators before the security guard could emerge.

In the elevator, listening to loud musak, Blair giggled to herself and leaned against the back wall. Dan huffed and sat down to slow his heart, which was beating about fifty million times per second.

“Remember, once upon a time, when I said you were a born liar?”

“Mmhm.”

“I was sorely mistaken.”

“Yep.”

“The misogyny was a little much, Cabbage Patch.”

“I know.”

Blair cackled, “and Oliver Swift? What kind of name is that? Are you Taylor Swift’s long lost cousin from hillbilly country? Were you trying to be a knock off Charles Dicken character?”

Dan stood as the doors opened. “Blair?”

“Yes?”

Walking backwards into the darkness, he smirked, “shut up.”

“There’s that misogyny again!”

By the time they had gotten to Beverly’s office, Blair had opened up every filing cabinet and Dan was going through the folders on her office computer. The woman’s password was easy to figure out and pretty transparent. Blair, as she often was, was right. Beverly was kind of dumb for thinking “1, 2, 3, 4 W” was secure. Dan settled onto an icon in Beverly’s messily organized desktop and came upon something resembling recommendation letters. Excited, Blair popped up from the floor and leaned onto the back of the chair Dan sat on, pressing her hand on the desk. There was hardly a gap between her cheek and Dan’s neck. A curly tendril of her chestnut hair tumbled down his shoulder. She had changed her conditioner. What was usually a clean, cold lavender smell had a hint of vanilla in it now. It wasn’t bad. Just different, almost warm.

“I think this is it. Flash drive please.”

Blair dug through her clutch and pulled forth a tiny flash drive with a covering in the shape of a red bow. She dropped it in Dan’s hand and he plugged it in. As they waited for the files to load, because of course it would take forever, they heard steps. On the walls ahead of them were shadows of a man and a woman. Dan's eyes widened as he turned to see Blair was already scurrying to cram herself under the desk. She pulled Dan down with her and they sat cross legged, basically on top of each other, hoping the people would go away. They didn’t. Furious heels clicked into the office, followed by heavy footsteps.

“I can’t go on being your second choice.”

A thick accent responded, “This is hard for me too Beverly.”

“I just…”

“Sh…”

Blair looked like she wanted to scream, probably realizing the biggest piece of gossip she had ever heard was just above her head. She made a small squeak and Dan thought it best to clasp his hand over her mouth just in case she wanted to do a scandalized gasp. He shook his head like a dog with an itch as she bit his hand, which was determined to stay where it was. Her tongue began to swirl against the skin of his palm but he was somehow able to keep it in its position, even though he couldn’t help but tighten his grip. It was just so much spit. He never expected her to perform such a juvenile act, although Blair was never not surprising him. She was starting to reach for her phone. The couple in the room with them began to move around more. They were definitely making out. Dan wasn’t sure whether to laugh or just pass away from mortification. As the couple slammed each other over various office supplies, and traveled to the other side of the desk, Blair took some initiative and began to crawl away. Dan clumsily followed her but wasn’t so lucky when he bumped his head against the desk and grunted in pain. Horrified, Stefano and Beverly looked down at Dan who was trying his best to get up or at least crawl away.

“Who are you?!”

Backing away slowly, Dan tried to feel around for Blair. “I…um—“

“Beverly, call security!” Stefano commanded, as he rolled up his sleeves.

“I’m just here to—“

Before Dan could get any more words out, he was socked in the face. A bit of blood escaped his nostrils. Blair ran to his rescue, but it was too late. Beverly had already called for reinforcements. They were in serious trouble.

Dan and Blair sat under the front counter in the lobby. Apparently, they were waiting for the police to collect them but as Dan stared at a thoughtful Stefano, who stared back at him every time the security team lost his attention, he wasn’t so sure of that. Snapping him from his daze, Blair poked his nose gently.

“Ow.”

“Sorry.” She was actually apologetic. “Does it hurt?” Pulling a handkerchief from the pocket of her coat, Blair pressed it underneath Dan’s nose, scolding him to hold his head back.

“Not worse than any other time I’ve gotten punched in the face. That shiner you gave me when we first met with your purse, now _that_ hurt.”

“That wasn’t the first time we met,” Blair sighed. “I feel I might be partially to blame for this.”

Dan whipped his head around to face her. “Partially?!”

“No one asked you to be a stumbling fool. What does _stealth_ mission mean to you?”

“I got punched in the face! And I might follow it up with prison.”

“Please, we’re two white college students with no record.”

“That isn’t entirely true.”

“You’ve done hard time before? I should’ve known...”

“I might’ve spent a night in the slammer with your sweetheart Chuck.”

“Ugh, of course, and he’s not my _sweetheart._ How old are you? 90?” Blair batted Dan’s laughing face away. “Well, there is a bright side.”

“Oh yeah?”

“If you’ve ever considered getting a nose job, now’s the time.”

Dan couldn’t help but chuckle, although he tried his best to remain stoic. “You love my nose.”

She didn’t respond, and she definitely didn’t disagree.

Interrupting their back and forth, Beverly stormed over, pressing her lips together and giving the duo a withering glare. It had nothing on the one Blair gave right back.

“Well, they’ve checked your things and you haven’t taken anything.”

“Look, _Bev_ , Dan didn’t have anything to do with this. I just wanted the recommendation letter I was promised.”

Beverly let out a high-pitched squawk. “You certainly don’t deserve it, and honestly, you never did. Have fun in your holding cell kiddies.”

Dan caught her before she could ride off into the sunset. “You won’t send us to jail.”

“Yes, I will—“

“If you do, you know we’ll have to blow up everyone’s phone and tell them about the piece of daytime TV drama we heard up there.”

Blair stared at Dan, her mouth hanging open. Maybe he had impressed her.

Beverly glanced over at Stefano. “You wouldn’t.”

“Of course we would, and we have some very influential connections.” Blair said, crossing her arms.

“Blair does, at least,” Dan added, awkwardly mimicking Blair's stance.

The woman looked like she might throw a tantrum. “He’ll leave her. I know it.”

“That’s what they all say. Do you really want to take that gamble?” Blair asked, stepping towards Beverly. It was a face off like any other.

Dan couldn’t help but say a small curse directed towards men everywhere, including himself, as Beverly walked off and whispered a few things in Stefano’s ear. Why they were all so determined to keep women like Pokémon, he would never know.

The man nodded, agreeing to their terms, and with a flick of Beverly’s hand, they were free.

They escaped out onto the sidewalks, half-relieved. As they rounded a corner, waiting for the crosswalk light to change in the busy city street, Dan shoved his hands in his pockets. He and Blair glanced at each other until they broke out into laughs of disbelief.

“Nicely done Humphrey! I might be rubbing off on you after all.”

“Oh, let’s hope not.”

“Please, you would be so fortunate.”

Dan smiled, and stared at the sidewalk that extended before him, feeling like he was in an odd fever dream. “Stefano is having an affair with his assistant.”

“It seems appropriate for him, although I thought he was more of a ‘make it with the pool boy’ kind of man.”

“Very impressive intuition Ms. Waldorf.”

Blair smiled and shrugged like the “angel” she was. “It’s a gift.”

Dan rocked onto the back of his heels, puffing condensation into the cold night. “What a waste of a perfectly average night.”

“I resent that statement.”

“We basically did all of that for nothing.”

From within some secret pocket dimension in her chest Blair dug out the little red flash drive. “I wouldn’t call this nothing.”

The light switched to allow pedestrians to walk, but Dan remained stagnant looking at Blair in amazement. He took her gloved hands excitedly.

“You got it?”

“People never think to check the bra—the most utilitarian of all the clothing items.”

Ignoring any snide impulses, Dan excitedly swept Blair into his arms, spinning her around.

“Do you know what this means?!”

Blair didn’t object to being lifted, and instead shrieked with delight, as they ignored the annoyed New Yorkers who moved around their small scene. Their spin came to a slow decline and Dan set her down. He found himself giving her an quick, but deep, kiss on the lips. Startled, Blair accepted the kiss although when Dan pulled away she looked like the floor had been taken from under her. Their smiles slowly started to dissipate as they realized what they had done. What _Dan_ had done.

He rubbed the back of his neck, “um…”

Blair cleared her throat, he had never seen her at a loss for words. “I should—“

“Yes, I should go home.”

“Back to Brooklyn.”

“That’s where I live. Just, send me the letter.”

“Yes, I will email you. But now, I will be going to my place of residence.”

Dan took Blair’s hand in a weak handshake, “night, Waldorf.”

“Good night, Humphrey.”

Blair gave him one last expecting look, like he was supposed to say something more, but she continued to walk ahead. Dan stood there for a while letting his fingers freeze and allowing the streetlights to blind him. He didn’t deserve to see, he decided. Dan, like always, had made things weird.

*******

**Present**

“We were almost present for steamy sex between Stefano and his assistant.” The table erupted with laughter, knee slapping, and clinking of wine glasses. Their story of thieving escapades was a hit.

Blair couldn’t get over the fact that Dan hadn’t mentioned the kiss that occurred at the end of that night, or how he sauntered off into the darkness like a wounded animal after it happened. She supposed he didn’t remember. Or chose not to.

Dinner had been over for a long while and it was nearing midnight. Exhausted, and drunk, everyone headed to their respective rooms to sleep. Climbing the steps, Blair kept looking over her shoulder to see Dan following behind her, eyes partially open, and steps slow and heavy. It didn’t dawn on her she was being followed until she got to her door and sharply turned to him as he leaned against the wall across from her.

Brandishing her heels, which she had took off somewhere between her sixth and seventh glass of wine, Blair fumed. “Nothing is going to happen between you and I just because you bring up some mediocre story from forever ago.”

“You are so full of yourself,” Dan scoffed, “ _you_ followed me.”

“How could I have followed you Humphrey? I was walking in front of you.”

“Well this is my room,” Dan mumbled, tapping on the door across from Blair’s.

Blair slumped against her own door. “Of course, our rooms are across from each other.”

Dan exhaled. “It seems they are.”

“This must be a mistake.” Blair was starting to get dizzy. “I’m going to ask you a question that isn’t insulting.”

He straightened. “Okay. That’s new.”

“Just know it’s because I am quite inebriated.”

“Right.”

“Did you think I was going to end up like Beverly? In a decades-long affair going nowhere?”

“No.” Dan tilted his head. He couldn’t even stand up right.

“Then why tell that story?”

“Contrary to what you think, I wasn't being spiteful,” Dan shrugged, “I just..”

“What?”

“I think it’s a sweet story in an inventory of stories that usually end in the same stupid, argument.”

“Dan…”

“I went home that night and read the letter, expecting some apathetic roast, but it was just really validating. I always assumed you thought I was dumb.”

“I do.”

He let out a pained laugh.

Blair posted herself up against her door for a moment, standing across from Dan as they idly looked at one another, basked in the moonlight streaming in from a small window at the end of the hallway. For a moment, it seemed as if Dan was coming in for a hug or perhaps a quick kiss. She smacked her palm against his face.

Dan grinned. “Too soon?”

“You’re drunk.”

“You’re cute.”

“ _Good night_ Humphrey.”

“Good night Waldorf.”

*******

The two turned and stepped into their rooms. The slam of the doors echoed throughout the house and everyone smiled a little, especially Serena. The sounds of Dan and Blair’s discontent for one another kind of made the place feel like home.


	6. The Familiarity of a Shared Joint

**Part VI**

**“The Familiarity of a Shared Joint”**

**Present**

It was nearing mid-August and he hadn’t written a thing. Dan kept meaning to write something; anything to appease his publication and his agent. But every time he even dared to put words to paper, something stopped him. It could’ve been the most menial thing, like a fruit fly by the window, or an existential thought, like what he would look like dead. He didn’t find much interest in either of the subjects. It was late but not late enough to call it a night, so he crept downstairs for yet another snack. Food was the only thing that inspired him these days.

As Dan made his way through the halls, he realized how little he had explored the house he was to be inhabiting for a few more weeks. It was large no doubt, enough to be called an “estate”, and it was spacious. Without all the people and parties it felt more like a museum than anything else. He knew Serena would see to fixing that as soon as she and Amahle moved in permanently. If he remembered correctly, she had a growing affinity for all things cozy.

Stepping down the grand stairway, he came to the main hall, and branching off of it was a large sitting room, where a fire was lit. Clutching the hard back book he had in his hand, and preparing to clock the stranger interrupting his one day alone in the house, he entered the room. Ready to swing, he was surprised by Blair’s horrified face. He had made her jump.

“Do you usually use books as weapons? I’m not sure if you heard, but those things are for reading.”

She turned back to her own book and hid her face behind strands of auburn hair that looked red in the glow of the fire. Blair was in jeans, an item of clothing he never thought he would see clinging so nicely to her legs. And yet, there they were. She looked so simple in her soft, pink sweater and white socks. It was like looking at a slightly abridged version of Blair, one that might slightly hurt you with words instead of smacked you upside the head.

“Everyone was supposed to be in town.”

Blair didn’t look up. “Why aren’t _you_ there then?”

“My agent is demanding I write something, so I thought I would stay back and let the house inspire me. I don’t know.” Dan replied, not sure what to say.

“Give Allesandra my best.”

Dan walked around the couch and looked through the bookshelves lining the wall. “She’s not my agent anymore. I have one in London. His name’s Dev. He’s nice. He’s divorced, but he has these two twin boys that follow him around all the time even though he’s a work fiend. It’s sweet.”

Blair only responded with a quick flip of her page. He was rambling.

“Why aren’t you with everyone? I would think the markets would be right up your alley,” Dan muttered, leaning against the wall, a hand in his pocket.

Blair finally looked up and shrugged. “It’s too gray out there. And I just wanted some peace and _quiet_.”

Dan got the message and nodded. He took that as a sign to leave and retreat to his room once again to consider writing, but for some reason he stayed. He stayed in his awkward position by the bookshelves, and continued to keep himself busy by touching everything in sight. He turned over the odd nick knack, pulled out a few books to see if they were secret levers, and investigated the vases that inhabited each surface. As he did this, he could feel Blair’s eyes following him around the room. In one of the vases, sitting on the mantle above the fireplace, he felt something small like a piece of compact parchment. He took it out and discovered that in his hand was a small joint. He laughed, a little too loudly, and presented it to Blair.

At the same time they smiled and said, “Nate.”

Nate was never one to come to a party and not bring apt enough spirits. Dan suspected there were hundreds of joints sprinkled all over the house, despite his step-sister's newfound objections to drugs.

Dan crashed onto the couch, making sure to leave a few inches between him and Blair’s feet, and examined the joint. It was long, and slightly brown at the edges. He made sure to hold it at the end, having seen Nate roll one of them before, and knowing how much saliva he used to “glue it all together.”

To his surprise, Blair spoke, almost as if he weren’t there. “I haven’t seen one of those in years.”

Dan couldn’t tell if she was wistful or sad.

“Really?”

Blair was sent away from her daze, and she cleared her throat. “Not since 2011, no.”

Dan smirked. “ _Really_?”

*******

**April** **, 2011**

It wasn’t as bad as Blair thought it would be.

“This isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

Dan was across from Blair, perched on the counter. For some reason, he had a pickle hanging from his mouth, although Blair couldn’t judge, since she had a spoonful of Nutella hanging from hers.

Blair had been over for another movie night and was hanging up her coat when the most gigantic blunt she had ever seen dropped out of Dan’s jean jacket. Immediately, she confronted him about it, which led to an argument, which led to curiosity, which led to them making a decision to get rid of the joint. By smoking it.

“Have your eyes always been that big?” Dan murmured, squinting his own eyes to get a better look.

Blair self-consciously touched her eyelids. “My eyes are big. Oh no.” She started to laugh. “They are _so_ big.”

Dan, definitely out of it, joined her and soon the pair were on the carpet in the living room, rolling around. When it appeared to them the joke had gone stale, they laid down, staring at the ceiling and talking at each other.

“Today is April Fool’s Day,” Dan said. “We should prank call people.”

“I already feel like enough of a fool being here with you Humphrey. I don’t need extra ice cream on the pie. Mm…pie.”

“You’re even mean when you’re high.”

“Do you have any pie?”

“I wish you weren’t so mean,” Dan whispered, reaching up to nothing. “We would be better friends.”

Blair turned her head. “We’re friends,” She sat up dizzily. “Friends have secret handshakes, Dan. Dan?”

Dan remained on the carpet, trying to make snow angels in the fuzz. “Did you know that the scientific term for brain freeze is ‘ _sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia?_ ’”

“Spitanopalatine Ganglygora?”

“No, it’s ganglegora spit on palpatine.”

“Heh, heh!”

Blair had already gotten up and stumbled over to a door in a lonely part of the loft. Dan joined her, and for a while, they both stood there staring at it. It looked like a swirly, rainbow tunnel to a different dimension in that moment. Blair lightly pawed at the door.

“What’s in there?”

Dan looked at her with wild, cagey eyes, “secrets.”

“Stop being scary.”

“I’m just kidding, its storage.”

Blair opened the door and in it were what looked like a million boxes all with the floating letters that spelled out Dan’s mother’s name. Blair couldn’t put the name together, but somehow she just knew those were her things. Dan came in carefully, like he was stepping over hot lava, while Blair unboxed things and tried on dusty pieces of fashion she would otherwise turn up her nose to. Some of the items were expected memorabilia; old paintings, photos, and band t-shirts, and others were big items. Big in meaning. The final item Blair came across was a satin wedding dress borrowed right from the 90s. It had a vast train and a short veil with an ugly, red rose stuck to the side of it. Blair giggled, how appropriate. She put on the veil and continued to look through the other accessories she had found in a round, green velvet box. A few minutes later she was decked out in a veil, lace gloves, a string of costume pearls, and the satin dress which hung off her body loosely. Dan sat in the corner, knees to his chest, as if he were about to dissociate.

Blair stomped up to him and did a spin.

“What do you think?”

“I…”

“I know, me getting married now is kind of ridiculous. Although this hideous veil on my head proves I can pull off anything.”

Dan looked up at her with red eyes, he was swaying for some reason. “That’s my mom’s stuff Blair.”

Blair swallowed and took in the room. Dust particles floated around as if they had their own small cities and lives to get through. No one had been in this room for a long time and Dan, who was looking like a sad little boy, seemed to realize that. She took his hand and tugged him upward.

“Come on, I want to see myself in all this.”

She led him to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror while he clumsily toyed with the shower faucet; turning it on and off and sticking his head in as if it was the best entertainment ever. Blair flitted her eyes upwards to meet her reflection and was immediately horrified with what looked back. Before her, was a swirly, abstract and gooey version of herself. That couldn’t be her. Could it?

She started to panic and sink down crawling over to the shower. She sat in the bath. The shower was on and the water beat down onto her. Dan joined her and they sat face to face in the pink tub fully clothed.

“Now I’m damp!” Blair whined.

Dan reached over to the hook above the towel rack and grabbed a red umbrella. He opened it as it shed a red hue, encapsulating the pair in an odd sort of bubble that dripped with water. They made a series of awkward eye contact: one looked away when the other looked at them, until they just gave up and met each other’s gaze.

“I’m not sure I’m real,” Blair whispered, turning over her hand to reveal an open palm filled with stars from the sky. At least, that’s what she saw.

Dan blinked hard and put his own hand on hers. “Seems real.”

His hand stayed atop hers for a while, which acted as a sort of anchor for her, until they resorted to holding onto each other. At some point, the back of her calf had settled onto the side of his crossed legs. They were stuck in some, strange, mirroring exercise.

“I’m sorry I went through your mom’s things.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like she’s coming back to claim this stuff so...”

“You’re okay with that?”

“No, but that won’t change anything.” Dan smiled, eying Blair’s outfit. “You look good in all of that.”

Blair laughed. “No I don’t.”

Sleepily, Dan chuckled, “yeah, you look ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as that hair you had for your ball thingy. I mean you pulled it off…”

Blair frowned, too far gone to argue. “That took so much time! And money. Ugh, I have so much money…”

“I know, it’s my least favorite thing about you!”

“I know, it’s hilarious.”

“It should make me happy, but you don’t buy me gifts like all my other rich friends.”

“I don’t… Perhaps I should treat you like a doll.”

“I wish you did,” Dan challenged.

“You’d make such a terrifying doll.”

“I would, wouldn’t I?”

They had a long bout of laughter once again.

“Blair?”

“Mm?”

“Do you…remember—“

“No.”

“Sh,” he knit his eyebrows together, obviously trying hard to recall anything on their weird high. “Do you remember when we were talking with the ice—“

“Ice?”

“Yes, and I said you weren’t ‘that bad’, just not my type.”

“Hm, that time you were a waiter,” Blair nodded. “I went home and cried after that day,” she finished sarcastically.

“Well, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No?”

“No, I should’ve said what I really thought.”

“What’s that?”

Dan swallowed. His eyes were glazed over. “I think you’re beautiful— even in a tattered wedding dress covered in cobwebs, even when you’re telling me I look like shit, even when I want to…just…throw you over my shoulder and toss you into the Hudson River. You’re just beautiful.”

He tucked a wet curl of hair behind Blair’s ear. She couldn’t recall a time when anyone other than her mother and maybe Serena had seen her hair in its natural state; wavy and untamed. Blair stared at him as he seemed to go through an internal struggle. The weed was definitely laced with something.

“This weed must be laced with something,” he sighed.

Thereafter, they pressed their foreheads together. Blair wasn’t sure what was allowed, and it seemed like the safest way to be close to him. She felt it necessary to take his face in her hands and hold him. Dan didn’t seem like he was held enough in his life and that must have been what was making him so sentimental. The tip of his nose, that hovered a few inches above hers, was defined and cold. She could hear his heartbeat, smell his hair conditioner (must’ve been something with pine and maple syrup) she could feel the stubble on his face that was creeping forth, and most of all, she could see him. She could see all of him, every crevice in his calloused skin and every blemish that dotted his hands and arms. And, for the life of her, she couldn’t understand why she wasn’t at all afraid that he could see her too.

*******

**Present**

Dan gripped onto the course rope of the swing set in the rose garden out back. Next to him, was Blair, who rested her cheek against the edge of her own swing. It made her face seem like it was folding in on itself. She was faraway in her own world as she stared out into the open night. Dan wasn’t sure, but the high they were on this time just felt like a dull walk, although he wasn’t moving.

“The stars are friends,” Blair murmured.

Perhaps he had judged the weed’s strength too quickly.

Dan swayed back and swung forward. “Remember when we were kids, and the Wiggles convinced us the sun and the moon were distant friends? What a let down science class was.”

Blair smiled. “I never watched the Wiggles.” 

“Are you serious?!”

“Yes. We rich bitches exclusively watched PBS Kids.”

“You were _robbed_ of a childhood.”

“I got everything I asked for without question.”

“Did you have a pony?”

“No, but—“

“Tsk, tsk, poor Blair.”

“Stranger words haven’t been spoken,” Blair laughed, winding up her swing and letting go to make it spin around.

“Hm?”

“The words ‘poor’ and ‘Blair’ do _not_ belong together.”

“Ugh,” Dan pushed Blair’s swing to the side lightly, “that’s annoying.”

“You can’t even call the ‘man of the people’ card anymore.”

“I can’t?”

“No, you’re a successful author at one of Europe’s largest publications.”

“I thought I was just some guy who writes ‘pop literature’.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t have money.”

“It feels gross to say I do.”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for gaining wealth, especially when it comes from hard work. You just have to give back.”

“Is that why you’re Miss Mother Nature now? Guilt?”

“That’s part of it,” Blair shifted uncomfortably, her eyes reclaimed their faraway look from earlier. “I went to Indonesia last year to inspect different producers of fast fashion and it was awful. The conditions were barbaric and there and then I knew I had to do something to help.”

Dan watched as the wind combed through Blair’s hair. “That’s admirable. Sorry I gave you such a hard time about it.”

“I guess you just had to get years of planned insults off your chest.”

“I certainly didn’t _plan_ any of this.”

“Whatever you say Humphrey...”

“I didn’t! I wasn’t even going to come until—“ Dan paused. He wasn’t sure he was ready to divulge his recent disaster scenario.

“What? You can’t just start a sentence and not finish it. Tell me this instant. Daaaaan. Tell me—“

“My girlfriend cheated on me! God.”

Blair sucked in her bottom lip. “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

Dan narrowed his eyes. “Why are you trying your very hardest not to smile right now then?”

“Your pain is not for my benefit,” she said, her eyes glittery and red.

“I simply cannot tell if you’re laughing because you’re sadistic or because you’re just very high.”

“It’s both,” Blair whispered.

Dan chuckled and glanced over at the kitchen through the back window. With hazy eyes, he realized how much he and Blair had blown up the stove and the counters, trying to make cupcakes. It hadn’t gone well. They had been fifteen minutes into fighting when they realized just how bad they both were at baking without directions. The pair settled on the raw batter for a while until it hurt their stomachs and that’s when they retired to the swing set.

“I wonder why they left us in the house alone,” Dan said, looking up at the puffy, gray sky.

“Self-sabotage perhaps. I’m surprised I haven’t skewered you by now.”

“I never thought I’d be in a house as big as this. Willfully, I mean.”

“So, you thought you would have to get captured in order to be in a big house?” Blair snickered. “That’s quite the kink.”

“You know what I mean,” Dan retorted. “I don’t know what to do with myself in all this space.”

Blair smiled, it was a nostalgic kind of smile. “I remember what we used to do in the Hamptons house on rainy days. Although, you would never be up for it.”

“Try me.”

They carried on the night in the slipperiest socks they could find, sliding up and down the long hallways, and blasting odd, Italian house music. At first, it started out as a befuddling game, but as the points system became too perplexing, they settled for crashing into various pillows and walls, dancing like fools. When they tired themselves out, and the record player could only bring forth the slow and sad voices of heartbroken Italian women, they slow-danced. It began awkwardly, as everything with Dan and Blair did, but they shifted into a familiar rhythm and pattern; Dan’s hand gripping the soft fabric that covered her waist, and Blair’s head rested against Dan’s shoulder. Their hands joined together over their chests. Dan wasn’t sure if it was his or Blair’s heart that was beating so fast.

With his eyes closed, whether it was because of the burn of cannabis or disbelief, Dan murmured, “Is this really happening?”

“I think so, and considering the circumstances, I’ll allow it,” Blair murmured back.

He could feel the tickle of her breath against his neck.

“Didn’t you take Italian in high school?”

Dan swallowed. “I did.”

“Do you know what she’s singing?”

Dan let his lips graze Blair’s ear. “Why didn’t you want this, always?”

Blair raised her head, she was too smart to not know he was lying.

With warning, she said his name. “Dan.”

The ache in his chest, an ache he thought had been long gone, rose to his throat. “ _Why_?”

As the song rescinded to a close, Blair pushed him away, rubbing her forehead like she had a headache. Dan felt like he was that young kid again; the one who was rejected. He shouldn’t have said anything. Why did he always have to _say_ something?

Blair was backing off, hugging herself, “I…”

Like a premonition from God himself, the other guests in the house came barreling in through the front door happily. Dan peered around the corner of the kitchen’s right wall and saw them with brown bags full of groceries chatting about the amazing produce Tuscany had to offer. Dan wanted to run, but he was frozen where he was, listening to the next track on the album. It was inappropriately upbeat for the current situation.

Lily and Rufus went upstairs to wash up for dinner while everyone else relaxed in the sitting room in front of the lit fire. Nate, Serena, and Amahle came into the kitchen to put the food away, when they saw the mess Dan and Blair had made.

Nate grinned, tossing an apple to a crestfallen Dan. “Did a tornado go through here or what?”

“When I said you guys could ‘make yourselves at home’ this is _not_ what I meant.” Amahle laughed and began to pack things into the pantry.

Blair was still, bracing herself against the island. She didn’t even have the decency to look at Dan.

“Excuse me,” she said, and then ran off to the stairs, probably planning to lock herself away.

Serena called after Blair, and when she didn’t receive a response, looked at Dan. “Are you two…good?”

Dan cleared his throat, trying to put on a lopsided smile. “Yeah, we just got high.”

“Wait,” Nate’s mouth was already full of snacks. “Did you use _my_ weed?”

“Hold up, how did you weed through TSA?” Amahle interrupted.

“I have my ways.”

“Is white male privilege one of them?”

“I still don’t understand why Blair is upset,” Serena said, crossing her arms. “What did you say to her?”

Dan became irritated and walked away, calling back, “I didn’t say anything! It’s always Dan’s fault! Dan this, and Dan that! Fuck!”

Everyone’s heads followed him as he went upstairs. The last thing he heard came from Jenny’s mouth.

“Told you we shouldn’t have left them alone together.”


	7. Brooklyn Holiday

**Part VII**

**“Brooklyn Holiday”**

**January, 2012**

Blair was on her couch, watching a film, when her phone rang. On its fourth, irritating chime, she answered it.

“Talk fast. I have so little time and so little patience,” she declared, popping a macaron into her mouth. Blair was surrounded by macarons and the comforting smell of croissants, seeing as she had been refusing to leave her apartment for days on end. After her accident, the world seemed gloomy at best and she wasn’t ready to face it. Her plan was to stay inside, getting fat and pampered until her wedding day arrived. Maybe, with enough luck, she wouldn’t be able to fit into her dress.

“Waldorf, I take it by the background noises that you got my wedding gift,” Dan replied.

His voice sounded excited in a boyish way. It would’ve been cute if the gift wasn’t so mediocre.

Blair turned over the DVD case in her hand. “Yes, a copy of my favorite Audrey Hepburn movie, restored in color. I must say, Dan, this is disappointing, even for you.”

The amusement in his voice only grew. “Well—“

“Also, if you’re having money troubles, why get me a gift at all?”

“Blair—“

“There will probably be a _heaping_ pile of presents at the wedding. I wouldn’t have even noticed!”

“Look—“

“Well, you are one of my, ahem, “friends” now, so I suppose I would’ve been somewhat hurt. But that is honestly the least of my troubles!”

Out in the hallway, the elevator dinged and Dan stepped out. Instead of his usual flannel and jeans he sported a sharp, gray-blue suit with a red tie. His hair, usually an unkempt bush without much purpose, had been carefully groomed and swooped to the side with some gel. Blair almost felt inadequate in her Saturday morning pajamas, accompanied with depressive-episode under eye bags.

Phone still pressed to his ear, he huffed. “If you could just stop talking for one second I could give you the rest of the gift.”

Blair glanced down at the DVD cover. Looking back and forth from the cover to Dan, she realized his outfit was almost identical to Gregory Peck’s. Save for the shoes. Humphrey just couldn’t abandon his damn converse.

“Are we—?”

“Yes. We’re doing “Roman Holiday” but with a fun Humphrey twist.”

“Don’t say it.”

“ _Brooklyn_ Holiday. And I won’t take no for an answer because I’m about 99.9% sure you’ve always wanted to be a princess swept up in the culture of a city you haven’t been properly exposed to only to return to your royal duties. Does any of this sound familiar?”

Fighting a large grin Blair mumbled, “Maybe…”

“Well, your majesty, go get dressed. I have quite the day planned for us.”

Blair collapsed back down onto the couch, wrapping herself back up in her blanket. “You don’t have to do this.”

Dan shoved his hands in his pockets, he was always prone to doing that, and walked into the living room. “No…but I _want_ to do this.”

Tears began to well in her eyes. “I look like an unravelling burrito right now and—“

“A very attractive unfurling burrito.”

Blair pinched his forearm. “I’m not going!”

Dan stood up, somewhat menacingly. “Blair, in the most non-threatening way possible, I am not taking no for an answer.”

“You’ll have to. Because that’s my answer; N—O—”

Without another word, Dan pulled Blair towards him, throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of flour. Despite Blair’s pounding on his back, and general squirming, he was able to carry her to the base of the spiral staircase before having to let go.

“Go get dressed.”

“You’re a psycho!”

“And _you_ are wildly depressed. We make quite the pair don’t we?”

“Dan…”

“Stop being a thorn in my side and let me make you feel better. Can you do that Waldorf?”

Blair started to stomp up the stairs with frustration when she stopped halfway and turned. “You couldn’t have at least bought some dress shoes to complete the outfit?”

Dan laughed. “Go!”

It was about an hour later when Blair descended the spiral staircase. Dan smiled, she had certainly gotten the spirit of Audrey, but of course, she had added her own personal style, making it even better. Instead of a small scarf, she wore pearls, and instead of red flats she wore heels. Dan made a note to himself that she might demand he carry her at some point since they had a lot of walking to do.

Once they had shuffled into their coats, and grabbed all their things, they headed downstairs where Dan had a motorcycle waiting for them. Blair, for the second time, objected.

“Absolutely not.”

“I swear to you I am the best driver on Earth.”

“Even if that _wasn’t_ a lie, I don’t want helmet hair.”

Dan had already thought of that and reached into one of the helmets pulling forth a cream, satin scarf. “Put this on.”

Reluctantly, Blair tied on the head scarf, slipped on her sunglasses, and strapped on the helmet. Just before they climbed on Dan took a quick photo, accepting the slap Blair gave him for it.

“If anyone sees that you’ll die.”

“Upon my life, they won’t, your grace,” Dan said cordially, revving up the engine. “Okay, you might want to hang on.”

Blair, to his surprise, obliged, and wrapped her arms firmly around his waist, shifting forward. Dan pulled into the street and headed toward Brooklyn; Blair’s girlish, slightly fearful, squeal disappearing into the winter air.

*******

**Present**

Blair’s eyes snapped open as the sun soaked her billowy, white curtains. She sat up and cursed herself for forgetting her sleeping mask at home. Sitting against the bedpost, she hugged her knees to her chest. It was nearly eleven AM and she couldn’t remember when she had gone back to sleep. Judging by her contented and open eyelids, Blair could tell the sleep was much needed. She had spent the morning catching up on work and screaming into a telephone, venting about useless interns to Maya. For the most part, Blair could say her thoughts didn’t need to be occupied by a certain Humphrey.

Then she remembered the dream she had just had, as clear as day. Blair couldn’t believe she had forgotten about the day when it was among the best in her life, although she’d never admit that out loud. Blair pushed herself off of her soft bed (she just _had_ to ask Amahle where they got the mattresses) and searched through her closet for something to wear. Despite having spent the morning being lazy, Blair had still made plans for the afternoon. The night before, most of the houseguests had collectively decided they were all spending too much time lounging around the estate, however entertaining and beautiful it was. Tuscany was a big city and it was about time they all explored it. Maybe she and Jenny would be slight third and fourth wheels, being with Serena and Amahle all day, but she was still excited to shop and explore the museums.

Landing on something in the far corner of the closet, Blair pulled out a baby pink, satin dress. She put it on with some sandals and admired herself in the mirror. The plunging neck line and princess sleeves were perfect for traipsing around Italy.

As Blair skipped down the stairs, the distant chatter of her friends became louder, and by the time she had reached the base of the staircase, she realized the house had descended into chaos. Jenny and Eric were running around half dressed and putting clothes on as they balanced toothbrushes in their mouths. Lily and Rufus were shoveling food down their throats as quickly as they could, while Cece laughed at their efforts from a corner, teacup in hand. Serena and Amahle rushed in through the open front door, apologizing to the team of old ladies they had bumped into.

“Hey! Good morning!” Serena said, sounding winded.

Amahle didn’t give Blair so much as a wave as she started climbing the stairs, two steps at a time.

“What’s going on?”

“Well,” Serena gulped, “Amahle’s parents decided to come early and we are late picking them up from the airport.”

“And these are the same parents who…?”

“Who are a bit homophobic and might hate me? Yes, that’s them.”

“So I’m guessing our girls’ day is cancelled.”

“I’m so sorry they called us this morning and we weren’t prepared at all…”

“No! It’s fine. I can go alone. Why are Eric and Jenny spitting their toothpaste into the plants out back?”

Serena turned and sighed, defeated. “Oh, we’re doing a late lunch between the families after we pick them up. I thought it would be better to introduce my side of the party in small bits.”

Blair couldn’t help but laugh at her friend. She was completely out her element. “Good idea S.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?”

“Of course, and if not, I can always ask Nate and Ines to come with me. Or um…Odessa?”

Suddenly, Rosey ran from the back of the house to the foyer where Blair and Serena stood. The child was only wearing diapers around her bottom and pants on her head. She was having an amazing time.

Nate came charging in after Rosey, gathering her in his arms. “You just keep slithering away huh?”

Serena cooed at the child. “Oh she’ll have a rebellious streak for sure.”

“Let’s hope not, we’ve all had enough stress to last a lifetime.” Blair turned to Nate. “I was wondering if you and Ines would be interested in a day out on the town with me. My other dates are ditching me. You can bring Rosey—“

Nate winced apologetically. “Can we take a rain check? Actually, I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor…”

Serena took that as her exit and went on, scolding her siblings for using her freshly potted plants as a sink. Ines strode down the stairs in a black, lace robe looking like someone’s scorned mistress. In Spanish, she began to rant away at Nate, and snatched Rosey from him, slapping the man on his arm.

“Look at your daughter! She wears pants on her head.” Ines gingerly removed the article of clothing so Rosey could see, bouncing her so she wouldn’t cry.

“Uh, Nate, the favor?” Blair questioned, anxiously tapping her foot.

“Right…so what we have here is a unique situation…”

“We need you to take care of Rosalinda today so we can have time alone,” Ines said with such vigor even Blair was a little taken aback.

Nate put his hands behind his back, smiling like the puppy dog he was. “Yes.”

“I can’t. I’m going to the museum today…”

“Take her with you!” Ines insisted. It was obvious: the woman needed to get laid.

“I don’t know the first thing about children and I certainly can’t be left alone with them.”

“Well, you won’t be alone,” Ines said, pointing to the staircase. “Danielle will help you.”

Blair whipped her head around and, like the pauper he was, Dan was staggering down the staircase with hardly any sleep in his eyes and his shirt about quarter of the way on his body. His chest was vastly less hairy than she remembered.

Dan yawned. “Ines, we’ve been over this, it’s just Dan.”

" _Dan_. So simple.” Ines draped Rosey over Dan’s shoulder. “Alright, her diaper bag and toys are on the coat rack. She doesn’t like to be rocked, she likes to be bounced.”

She and Nate were already heading out the door.

“And if anything happens, and I mean like if there are just buckets of blood coming out of her or something, call us,” he yelled over his shoulder.

With that, they were gone, and with them, the rest of Vander Humphreys and Khumalos. Blair and Dan stood alone in the foyer, bamboozled with a baby, and listening to the roar of cars pulling out of the estate. Blair shook her head in disbelief. How did _this_ even happen?

Dan handed Rosey over to Blair and began to drudge his way back up the stairs.

“Where do you think you’re going? Just because I happen to be the woman here doesn’t mean I am doing this all by myself!”

Dan continued walking. “Relax, I’ll be in and out in ten minutes. Get Rosey some pants in the meantime. I just need to get ready.”

“Get ready for what?”

He looked back, rudeness in his tone. “A day out in the town. I had plans today too.”

*******

**January** **, 2012**

By the time they had crossed the bridge, Dan realized how nervous he was. He knew this day trip wouldn’t exactly “save Blair” but it still needed to be perfect. He wasn’t sure why he was trying so hard for a girl who otherwise hated him just a few months ago, or at least he hadn’t admitted the reason to himself, but he was sure that she deserved something more than the prying eyes of paparazzi and reminders of her most recent downfall.

Dan thought it was only right to begin in an outdoor market as they had in Roman Holiday, although when he helped Blair off the motorcycle she was less than pleased to be by the river near Bushwick.

“What am I to do with this?”

Dan hadn’t given up hope just yet, as he extended his elbow to Blair. “You’ll see.”

Reluctantly, Blair linked her elbow under his and they walked into the market.

Soon enough, Blair was staring on in delight at the fast paced motion of food vendors rushing about with exotic and comfort foods alike. She made the comparison that it was like being in the midst of the Financial District, which Dan found hilarious. The cold made her cheeks turn a rosy red as she rushed about trying and tasting everything. Blair even seemed to be taken with how well Dan knew all the owners, which was a bonus.

While Dan helped Blair peel her first lychee, Gary, a burly cheese seller, stalked over and patted Dan on the back, almost knocking him into yesterday. “Hey, Danny!

Dan shook the man’s hand, grinning. “Hey Gary, how are you?”

“Tired as all hell. Who’s this beautiful young lady?”

Blair widened her eyes, her mouth full of fruit and unable to talk.

“This is the soon-to-princess of Monaco,” Dan whispered, “but don’t tell anyone okay? We’re trying to keep a low profile.”

Blair giggled as Gary bowed as low as his beer belly allowed. “Your majesty, it is a pleasure to meet you.”

“ _Low_ profile Gary.”

“Right, right. Where are you two headed today? I need something delivered.”

Blair swallowed. “Drugs? Guns?”

“What, no! This ain’t the Sopranos. Jamar needs this pound of brie for the dinner rush but I gotta stay here for a few more hours.”

“Well, we’re headed to Williamsburg right now.”

“Fantastic! You got wheels?”

“Yeah I’ve got a bike out front I can tie it on.”

Gary rubbed his hands together. “Alright let’s go!”

Dan started to walk away when Blair grabbed his arm. “Wait,” she held up a small green box of lychee. “I want to buy this.”

“Oh, yeah?” Dan smiled. “Will you meet me out front or do you need company?”

Blair rolled her eyes. “I think I can handle buying something on my own Humphrey. I do it all the time.” She marched away to the cashier.

As Dan struggled to tie on a circle of cheese to the back of his dad’s motorcycle, Gary giddily chuckled. “So what’s the story with that girl?”

Dan took the rag Gary held out, hoping he could wipe off the cheese smell that was lingering on him. “We’re just friends.”

“Please, that’s what they all say.”

“She’s engaged Gary.”

“It’s never too late to tell someone how you feel Danny.”

*******

**Present**

Dan knelt before Rosey’s stroller to make sure the kid hadn’t died of heat exhaustion. They had been standing in a tedious line for the past fifteen minutes, trying to get into an art museum, and the sun was unyielding, beating down on them in consistent rays. Luckily, Rosey was still her bubbly self, under the shade of her frilly covering. She gurgled back at Dan and continued to gnaw at the orange popsicle Blair had gotten for her.

Blair. He had been determined not to meditate on her after their night on the devil’s lettuce, but when Nate stormed into his room, begging for him to babysit with her he couldn’t say no. Blair didn’t exactly strike him as the maternal type and he couldn’t leave Rosey to a cold and structured itinerary for an entire day with little room for improvisation. He stood and walked alongside Blair as she pushed the stroller forward. He could almost feel the air conditioner. They were so close. Or perhaps that was just a piece of the air Blair’s fan was generating.

“It is fucking hot.”

“Yes, and the sky is blue,” Blair responded, fanning herself with vigor.

He couldn’t tell what she was thinking with her sunglasses covering her expressive eyes.

“What?”

“I thought we were pointing out obvious things.” she said, a slight snarl coming to her lips.

“I deduce the heat doesn’t agree with you.”

“You’re correct…for once.” She blotted her neck with the back of her hand. “Thank God I look good dewy.”

“Yes, praise be.” Dan sarcastically muttered.

“I don’t understand why we had to do this together. I’ve seen far too much of you on this trip.”

“Likewise Waldorf,” Dan spat back. “I suppose this happened because Nate needs someone to make sure you don’t sink your talons into Rosey and fill her head with evil.”

“Talons? What am I? A harpy from the ninth circle of hell—?“

“In simple words, yes.”

“Rosey would be lucky to learn a thing or two from her seasoned Aunt Blair. Also, she is much better off with me than her sad, stubbly Uncle Humphrey—“

“I am the farthest thing from sad—“

Rosey began to squirm around in her stroller, most likely growing tired of her caretakers’ bickering. But once they started they couldn’t stop.

“That _has_ to be a joke. The man, nay the boy, standing in front of me acts like some depressed creature from the lagoon who only emerges to make my life more difficult.”

“I’ve done nothing but walk on eggshells around you and even when I don’t, I treat you like you’re an untouchable English monarch!”

Rosey started to scream, the sure beginning of a temper tantrum.

“Look what you did!” they yelled at each other in unison.

Dan scurried around to unbuckle Rosey and tried to calm her down, shushing and rocking her back and forth.

Blair pulled Rosey away from Dan and into her arms. “She likes to be bounced, moron.”

“Sure, go ahead and name call in front of the baby like that won’t scar her for life.”

An old couple in front of Dan and Blair turned, smiling at them like they hadn’t at all caused a scene. The woman cooed at Rosey, fluttering her fingers in the child’s face until she calmed down. Blair, still holding a protective arm around Rosey, looked on in amazement as the child stopped crying. Dan nodded a thank you.

“Questo caldo arriva ai giovani più velocemente.”

Dan tried to recall his Italian lessons, so he could answer the miracle worker of an old lady. “Sì, temo che siamo su questa linea da troppo tempo.”

“Americans?” the man asked.

“Yes,” Blair said, still checking in on Rosey like she might explode into a fit again.

“Ah okay, okay. We hope you are liking Italia.”

“Thank you, we um, we are.” Dan didn’t have the heart to tell them he had been seconds away from ringing a certain someone’s neck. Not really though. Although, he was definitely thinking about it.

The woman prodded her husband with a bony finger. “My wife wants to say you are like us when we were young. The first one is always the hardest.”

Dan’s face flushed red. “Oh…”

Blair was bouncing Rosey a bit too hard. “We’re not—“

“You go, yes?” the woman managed, pushing Dan and Blair forward.

In spite of their protest, they were ushered forward into the main hallway of the museum, joining the crowds of people who had already shuffled in. Dan had to admit, he would probably never tire of the high ceilings and grand paintings Italian art museums had to offer. He also couldn’t get over the look of wonderment in Rosey’s eyes as she noticed just how spectacular the building around her was. Dan glanced over at Blair, who had a similar look on her face. She had probably seen countless museums with countless expensive pieces of art and she never failed to open her eyes wide, crane her neck to get a good look at everything and whisper…

*******

**January** **, 2012**

“Wow…” Blair said under her breath as warm, potato leek soup ran down her throat.

She and Dan ended up at some closed restaurant in Williamsburg. It was becoming increasingly mind blowing how many people Dan knew outside of their small, catastrophic friend group on the Upper East Side. It didn’t quite match the “lonely boy” persona they had all been building up in their heads for several years. When they arrived at the place; Dan with his wheel of cheese, and Blair with her slight disdain, two men immediately came to greet them. One was young and spritely and the other was middle aged and slightly hunched forward like he had spent years carrying coal on his bareback. Were coal miners still a thing? Blair was learning all sorts of things that day.

“Humphrey!” the young man exclaimed, taking the burden of the cheese from him.

Dan beamed, he was in familiar territory it seemed. “Jamar, what’s up?”

Jamar made his way around the labyrinth of unset tables and disappeared into a back room, yelling back, “nothin’ much! We’re getting ready for opening night.”

“Which we might as well cancel,” the older man grumbled, taking a minute to sit down, “how are you Daniel? Who’s this?”

“I’m good Terry. Oh, and this is Blair. I’m giving her the ultimate Brooklyn tour today.”

“Mm, very nice. Take her to Prospect Heights. It's very romantic. It’s where I proposed to my first husband.”

From the kitchen Jamar playfully yelled, “don’t listen to him Dan. He said no!”

Blair snickered. “Well we don’t plan on getting engaged. We’re just friends.”

“Best friends,” Dan grinned.

Blair swatted him with a gloved hand, hating and loving how giddy he was becoming all at the same time.

Terry narrowed his eyes and popped them open again. “You two hungry?”

“No…”

“Yes!” Dan admitted, already following Terry to the kitchen.

“I just know _you’re_ hungry Dan. You’ve gotten too skinny. I’ll fix you two a late lunch.”

Worried, but still starved, Blair grabbed Dan’s hand murmuring in his ear, “what do they even make here?”

“Everything,” Dan whispered back simply, and pulled Blair along.

That’s how they ended up jackets off, sitting on the kitchen counter over steaming bowls and plates of food. Apparently “everything” meant a mix of Mexican and Jamaican cuisine. Jamar told them they were trying to achieve something in between classy and comforting food. Blair had been skeptical of that statement, but when she bit into her first taco she was convinced it was an amazing idea.

As she scarfed down her last bite of chorizo, Jamar came in, and Dan just had to lean forward and mutter, “try not to invest in them, Shark Tank. You rich people tend to do that.”

“And look what it gets us; yachts full of money.”

Dan only chuckled and continued to eat his own food. As Jamar finished up his maintenance chores he chatted with the pair, revealing that he and Dan had gone to school together until the eighth grade, which intrigued Blair beyond belief.

Shooing away Dan’s hands, which were trying to clamp over her mouth, Blair giggled. “You have to tell me what he was like.”

Jamar, washing vegetables in the sink, laughed to himself. “He was sort of popular for the most part, but he was also sort of a snob.”

“I knew it!”

Dan covered his eyes, “I was exposed too much as a child. You know this Jamar.”

“Yeah I do man, but that whole thing helped you with the ladies.” He started to chop up some onions. “He was always talking about how he had to “get out of Brooklyn” like it’s the hood or somethin’, which it’s not.”

“It’s not…?” Blair asked, relishing Dan’s frustrated face.

“Nah, shit here is just as expensive except ‘organic’ and ‘cage free’ are tapped onto the label.”

Dan smirked. “So your food isn’t organic? I think I’ll have to tell the hipsters.”

Jamar turned and in a flash, and hilariously smacked Dan over the head. “Don’t you dare…”

Blair laughed, watching as the boys joked and jostled around with each other. She couldn’t help but feel a slight melancholy for Dan. He had missed out on being Mr. Popular just to attend St. Jude’s; just to have more opportunity. It was wildly dumb and insanely admirable.

After they had tired themselves out, Dan wiped his hands, and extended them to Blair. She took them and jumped down from the counter.

“We should get going,” he said, shouldering on his jacket.

Jamar shook his hand and pulled Dan in for a quick hug. “Alright, it was good seeing you man. If you have time, come by later tonight and we can catch Jade’s show together.”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Jamar turned to Blair and nodded, shaking her hand. “It was nice to meet you Blair. Come back soon.”

Dan intervened, “Oh she—“

“I will.” Blair promised, because she meant it, as she and Dan traveled out the restaurant onto their next stop.

*******

**Present**

Their trek through the museum had started off fairly civil and relaxed. Blair had put Rosey down after she seemed less wild and held one hand while Dan held the other, helping her to walk. She didn’t seem to like the stroller, and Blair couldn’t blame her, it must’ve been restrictive. It was perfectly fine to let Rosey wander outside of its boundaries so long as they kept an eye on her. But now, Blair feared they were too distracted after coming across an abstract painting and arguing about the validity of it. She couldn’t stop though. Her banter with Dan, however maddening it was, had an addictive quality to it she had forgotten about.

“It’s obviously a nod to primitive styles dating back to 8700 BCE when the most valued version of a women’s bodies were plus sized due to the inventory of adequate birthing hips. It’s ironic given the current beauty standards of today,” Dan ranted, pointing his brochure at the sculpture.

Blair scoffed. “Please, if this was representative of the Stone Age it would have much more detail, and because it doesn’t, it is a slap in the face to those ‘primitive styles’. It’s looking down on that society’s art, not praising it. Honestly, I find it disgusting.”

“Are you really going to be this severe to a portrayal of a powerful woman embracing her sexuality?”

“If the portrayal is done by a man, yes. But by all means you should look him up. Maybe you’ll braid each other’s hair.”

“Maybe.”

The argument seemed to come to a head when Blair looked down at her hand and realized how empty it was. Rosey wasn’t holding it anymore.

“Dan?”

“Ready to admit defeat already? You’re getting soft Waldorf.”

“Hardly…” Blair peered into the stroller. “Where is Rosey?”

The grin melted from Dan’s face as he peered in the stroller himself. “I thought she was with you…”

“How could she be with me? I’VE BEEN WITH _YOU_ THE WHOLE TIME!”

“Okay, okay…”

“No, it’s not okay. Once again you have pulled me into your gargantuan series of unfortunate events!”

“Let’s split up alright? She couldn’t have gotten far.”

Blair took a moment to yank Dan towards her by his collar. “If my only niece gets kidnapped, I’ll tell Nate it was _your fault._ AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.”

She stormed away, hearing Dan grumble, “you’re so intense…” 

Blair found Rosey a few minutes later in the early Renaissance section of the museum. The child had been unsuccessfully trying to climb onto the butt end of a naked Achilles. Blair swiped her up and held Rosey close to her chest, slightly crying with relief. Dan ran over and put a hand on Rosey’s head. Noticing Blair was crying, he draped an arm around her shoulder and pressed his lips to her temple. Comfortable, she rested her head against his chest, a little embarrassed she looked like one of those frantic American moms who loses their kids in ridiculous ways. It didn’t at all match the usual icy demeanor Blair had carefully crafted.

Backing away a bit to wipe off Blair’s tears with his thumb Dan smiled fondly. “Where’d you find her?”

Blair tried to pull herself together. “Um…she was…she was trying to climb Achilles’…ass.”

“Are you serious?” Dan asked, roaring loudly with laughter.

“Yes, and it’s not funny! She could’ve gotten seriously hurt or broken something.”

Dan continued to laugh, “I’m sorry it’s just—“

Blair couldn’t help but join in and soon their trio was laughing to the point of hurt stomachs and tight jaws. She wasn’t sure if it was because of heat exhaustion or pure relief that she hadn’t lost Rosey, but it just felt good to laugh something off. Blair couldn’t remember the last time she had just laughed until it hurt.

“Let’s get out of here. What kind of aunt and uncle are we? We should be doing fun stuff.”

Swallowing one last chuckle, Blair nodded. “Yeah I feel a tad too much like my mother right now.”

Dan gingerly took Rosey and strapped her into her stroller, rolling it forward. “Come on. We’ll get gelato to calm our nerves.”

Blair followed Dan, linking her arm around his, not sure of the action but grateful he didn’t reject it. “Humphrey, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

*******

**January, 2012**

“Do you remember how we met?” Blair muttered.

Dan had taken Blair to a modern art museum in Bushwick, and although she had been entranced with just about everything to his surprise, he had taken her to see one specific exhibit that was going to be taken down soon. As they entered the space, they were handed a pair of white headphones and told to go into the center of a large red carpet in the middle of a mostly white room.

Dan snuggled the headphones on, motioning for Blair to do the same. “No, but I’m sure it was a bloodbath judging by…our entire relationship thus far.”

“I can’t remember for the life of me,” Blair said, pressing the headphones against her ears. “What now?”

“Just wait.”

The lights shut off.

“Humphrey…what the—“

All at once, purple and blue lights illuminated the area and in those lights millions of dots shone. They looked like stars and some even made the shapes of constellations. Spacey and slow music began to play through their headphones. Dan examined Blair’s face as she looked around in amazement. He liked that he was learning more and more what rendered her silent and content.

“I…”

“The world has more to offer than Monet and DeAngelo, I promise you.”

The music began to pick up and, nervously, Dan put a hand on Blair’s waist, and placed her hand on his shoulder.

Blair furrowed her eyebrows but she didn’t pull away. “What are you doing?”

He shimmied his shoulders, which he could tell almost inspired a burst of laughter from her.

“We have to dance. It's a part of the exhibit.”

“We’re the only ones in here,” Blair murmured up to him.

“I had a friend make sure it was empty so you could experience it all for yourself.”

“How many ‘friends’ do you have?”

Dan flashed a grin. “Thousands.”

“Somehow, I find that hard to believe.”

“Believe whatever you want.”

For a long time they remained quiet and Dan wasn’t entirely sure if it was because Blair was taken aback by the gesture or because she hated it.

“Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your analysis of this particular exhibit?”

Dan smiled against Blair’s ear; that was more like her. “Well I think it’s about how fate brings us together and how much meaning we’ve drawn from the stars throughout history.”

“You _would_ think that,” Blair scoffed.

“Well, what’s your amazing analysis, oh wise one?”

“Hm…” she sing-songed, “I think we’re sperms.”

Dan couldn’t help but laugh incredulously. “ _What_?”

“Stay with me, when the light show came on and the music began, we danced into the middle of this red dot. And as the stars aligned the music began. This exhibit is about sexual reproduction.”

“Let’s agree to disagree.”

“No, I’m right and you’re wrong,” Blair giggled.

Dan sighed. “I digress.”

*******

**Present**

“Say ‘gelato’!”

Blair clutched Rosey on her lap, tickling her a bit to get her to smile from under her bucket hat.

“Gelato!”

Dan rushed to wind up the disposable camera in his hand. “One more, one more. Your smile was weird in that last one.”

Blair gritted her teeth, maintaining her smile, and looked ready to kill. “Just take the picture Humphrey.”

They had settled in front of a fountain, where a few local kids were playing, to eat their gelato and cool down. Dan looked through the lens, waiting for it to focus on Blair. When it did, he hovered over the button for a second. She really looked like she could belong anywhere. Here in her frothy pink dress under the Tuscan sun, however, she was luminous and bright. He couldn’t get over how healthy she looked. In their younger days, they used to compare dark circles for fun. Finally, he snapped the picture.

Blair ran over with Rosey, handing her to Dan and reclaiming her cup of gelato, putting a spoonful into Rosey’s mouth. “I don’t understand why you still use disposables when you have a perfectly adequate camera on your phone.”

Dan shrugged. “They’re vintage. You love vintage things.”

Hesitating, and then regaining her composure, Blair just chuckled. “I also love pictures that aren’t grainy.”

They continued to walk along the cobblestone street, not at all having a planned destination. Dan was still a little shocked that Blair was so okay with not having a planned out day. He wondered if she had had one in the first place.

“You know I’ve been meaning to clear everything up, pertaining to the other night.”

“No you haven’t,” Dan replied, walking backwards to face her, trying his best to smile.

“No… I was planning to avoid you until the end of time.” Blair sighed. “But apparently the universe has other plans so I’ll just—“

Dan laughed. “Since when are you superstitious? You don’t need to apologize. I just got caught up in a moment.”

That was about half of the truth.

“I understand. Me too.” she tapped her fingers against Rosey’s stroller. “Have you written anything yet?”

“I have not. I promised my publication some amazing piece about weddings, but I’ve got nothing.”

“Ugh, tell me you’re not doing another sequel to _Inside_. I don’t think I could handle the publicity.”

“Trust me, my days of writing about the luxurious lives of the Upper East Side’s royalty are far behind me. I write serious stuff now.”

“Ah of course, and I’m sure none of them feature a funny blonde and her frustratingly attractive friend.”

“You _do_ read my magazine!”

“I might’ve glanced at a short story or two. I actually liked one of them.”

“Which one?”

“The one about the mother and her son and the penny. It was devastating.”

“Thanks…I think.”

“Do you really feel that way about having kids? That it’s a ‘useless and narcissistic venture’?”

“I might, yeah. Don’t you?”

*******

**January, 2012**

“Yes!” Blair squealed hugging the racks of tulle she passed as she made her way into the store. “Let’s never leave.”

“Well we’ll have to at some point.”

Dan had brought her to a dress shop, which would have already been a success in itself, but it was even better because of the way it was just like the dress shop from West Side Story. In its store front were elegant mannequins dressed to the nines in pearls and big, vintage ball gowns. The small shop smelled of sweet perfume and make-up powder.

Ringing a bell at the front counter, Dan smiled. “Out of all the stops on our Brooklyn Holiday, I have to say, this is the one I was the most unsure of.”

“Oh, I’m strictly designer, but I’ll make an exception.”

Two Hispanic women burst forth from a curtained off area behind the cash register cooing and cheering for Dan.

“¡Dan! Es tan bueno verte,” one of women sang, giving Dan a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Es bueno verte también,” Dan replied, he looked at Blair who was slightly shocked at his fluent Spanish, “Italian is a sister language of Spanish. Anyway, Blair, this Consuela and Carmen.”

Carmen scuttled over to Blair and gave a quick peck on both of her cheeks, holding her hands. Blair wasn’t used to such warm greetings.

“She’s very pretty. Delicate boned though.”

Consuela flicked her hand, sucking her teeth at Carmen’s judgements. “What brings you by? I haven’t seen you since your Papa married that woman.”

Dan chuckled. “You know her name Connie.”

“I just miss seeing him, that's all,” Consuela said, throwing her hands up. “So, are we getting a gift for the lady?”

“Sort of. We’re going out tonight and Blair needs a bit of a makeover.”

“I do not!” Blair objected, smoothing her skirt.

Dan scrunched his nose. “I don’t know…that outfit just doesn’t scream _Brooklyn_. What do you guys think?”

“Yes I agree,” Carmen nodded, “she looks too prim and proper.”

“And there’s no color. No _pop_!”

Blair was starting to feel increasingly self-conscious, in the back of her mind she had always questioned her fashion sense, but then she realized that this would be coming out of Dan’s pockets and he was just trying to buy her something. That was incentive enough.

“Then make us over.”

“Wait, _us_?”

Lack of detail didn’t stop Carmen and Consuela from pulling them into the dressing area. They tried on ridiculous clothing for hours. Blair enjoyed playing dress up with Dan, especially since it meant getting him into his own dresses for her amusement. He actually made a very pretty doll. When they were done with the dramatics, Blair settled on a rainbow-sequined dress that was picked straight from the disco decade and a pair of white ankle boots. She often didn’t take drastic chances when it came to clothes, however, Blair was glad she did for the particular occasion. Dan hadn’t changed much, although he traded his gray suit for a black one and his coat for a leather jacket. Blair didn’t often have use for the word “cool”, but they looked really fucking cool.

Dan held up a disposable camera, and handed it to Carmen. “Could you take our picture?”

“Of course.”

Blair tucked a bit of hair behind her ear. “No, let’s not.”

“Blair, when you are old and gray and drooling out of the corner of your mouth, don’t you want something to look back on?”

“I’ve got plenty of bad memories to last me a lifetime,” Blair teased.

“Please,” Dan pouted. He was actually very good at pouting. Almost as good as she was.

Blair posed in front the full length mirrors behind her, leaning against Dan’s shoulder. She pursed her lips, which just turned into a large grin.

“Fine.”

*******

**Present**

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” Blair muttered, fishing her hair out of Rosey’s mouth. The girl apparently liked to bite when she was sleepy.

Dan smirked, enjoying Blair’s saliva covered hair a bit too much, and reached across the table to take Rosey.

“I got her,” he whispered, balancing the child on his shoulder and lightly patting her back.

They had decided to take a train back to the house after they had realized getting a car on such a hot and in demand day would be almost impossible. Plus, their feet were more than tired, having walked around for hours, and Rosey was certainly not up for even another minute on cobblestone streets. Blair was still glad she had gone out, even if it was with Dan. She didn’t think she would get to see enough of Italy before she went back home. She didn’t think she would see Italy at all after everything that happened. Well, that didn’t matter.

Once Rosey was fully asleep, Dan placed her next to him and shifted closer to the window so she would have some wiggle room. He sat right across from Blair, as she stared out the window at the rolling hills and the setting sun. She felt as if she was in some post-Romantic era movie the way the blazing orange sky blended into the green grass, sprinkled with sheep and people walking along dirt paths.

“I can’t believe I almost skipped this wedding,” Blair said under her breath.

“Yeah, me neither.” Dan looked as pleased with the view as she was. “I would’ve never heard the end of it. I can’t imagine the amount of shit _you_ would get.”

“Serena and I were hardly talking when I heard about it.”

“Right, sorry.”

Blair continued to talk at the window. “Does it ever dawn on you that these are the people who will be in our lives forever? No matter what we do or say?”

“All the time. I kept trying to escape that, but here I am, taking care of my new niece with Blair Waldorf. I didn’t know my fate had been sealed in eleventh grade.”

Blair sat back in her seat, crossing her arms. “God, I hope it wasn’t.”

“It couldn’t be, if it was, I would still be an obsessed hormone monster with a savior complex.”

“Are you not?”

“Ouch.”

“I’m kidding Humphrey. You have significantly matured. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“This is the part where you say I have also significantly grown.”

“Why lie?”

“Ignoramus.”

“She-demon.”

They laughed. It was just how it had always been. Dan stroked the top of Rosey's head when she fidgeted about. Blair couldn’t understand how he could be that kind to something he claimed he didn’t want.

“So you’re just planning to remain alone for the rest of your life? With only your pen to keep you company?”

Dan scoffed. “That’s a pretty broad assumption Blair.”

“Well you don’t want kids.”

“I don’t know what I want. I’m in my twenties and I got cheated on. Being lost is allowed.”

“Not for the non-judgmental Breakfast Club it seems.”

“Don’t make me feel elderly. I already have a knot in my back that’s letting me know I’m on my way there.”

Blair snickered. “Excuse me if I’m not gushing with pity.”

“What about you?”

“What _about_ me?”

Dan took his hand off Rosey’s head and placed it on the table. “Do you want this?”

“Um—I” Blair stammered. She still wasn’t up for this conversation.

“Kids and pair bonding for life I mean.”

Blair exhaled. “Oh. I did. You know that. For a while I thought it would be with Nate or Chuck and then about two years ago I had a momentary lapse in judgement where I considered adopting on my own.”

“Huh.”

“I didn’t end up doing it. They’re not very accepting of single mothers who travel a lot.”

“No it’s not that.” He took a moment to be silent, as if he was considering something; struggling to say what he needed to.

“All day you’ve been hyper verbal and you choose _now_ to clam up—?”

“Did you ever see that with me?”

Blair felt her neck tense, it always did that when she didn’t know what to say or do. She didn’t expect him to ask her that, especially after they established they would avoid the subject of their relationship until the end of time.

“It’s all hypothetical, and I know you have a rich fantasy life. I’m just curious if you imagined the white picket fences and dirty diapers with me, that’s all.”

“Did you?”

“Once.”

*******

**January, 2012**

Dan studied Blair’s face with a sense of awe in his own. Even when throwing back a slushy and a corn dog she was kind of glorious.

“Do I have something on my face?” Blair asked, instinctively wiping her chin.

“Hm? No you’re all good.”

“Then why are you staring, creep?”

Dan tried to take himself out of his introspection. It was just Blair and he didn’t have to refrain from being himself around Blair. “It may be the blue tongue that’s throwing me off.”

Blair gasped, whipping out her compact mirror. “That’s horrendous!” She handed Dan her cup. “Here, you have to catch up. I won’t be the only one who looks like a blueberry.”

Sucking down a generous bit of slush, Dan laughed.

“I can’t help but be surprised Humphrey. You of all people know this isn’t exactly up to my standards.”

“Could’ve fooled me. You finished that corndog in five minutes flat.” Dan accepted the warranted slap Blair gave him on the shoulder, and smirked. “We’ve got a couple more things to do Waldorf and it doesn’t require a full stomach.”

Dan pointed up to the wooden roller coaster ahead of them. It was nearing nightfall and they were at their final destination: Coney Island. It was only right they ended up there. In all her years living in New York, she had never been, which Dan would’ve called child abuse if he didn’t know of Blair’s wealthy past (and present). For the most part, they had been walking around the boardwalk, playing games, and acting as the silly teenagers they had never let out when they were younger. Dan felt a little emasculated having Blair with him as she won him countless prizes, including a goldfish, while he failed miserably throwing balls in hoops and rings on hooks. Nevertheless, he was happy to see her so delighted, even if it was inspired by her competitive streak. The roller coaster would be their final challenge.

“That’s alright Humphrey. I seek thrills in other ways.”

Dan turned to face Blair. “You scared, Waldorf?”

“Never,” she scowled, facing him, “I’m just not interested in getting frizzy hair and insects in my teeth.”

“I _dare_ you.”

Blair grabbed him by his red tie, pulling him along, so much so, that he was close to choking.

“Fine.”

As the attendant locked them in, Dan felt Blair shake and shiver against him. They had decided it was best to leave their coats at the end of the ride, so they wouldn’t get in the way. Dan did what he did best and tried to distract her with nonsensical rambling.

“This is the best time to go on this ride.”

She continued to chatter her teeth, grimacing. “And why is that?”

“Well, the sun is setting. Just before you hit the drop there’s a great view.”

“C-cool.”

“Also, I’ll share with you the most sacred of Humphrey traditions.”

“Go ahead.”

“At the point you feel the most scared you just scream out your biggest secrets.”

She actually let forth a laugh. “Nice try.”

“I’m serious. It’s very freeing.”

The ride jutted forward and they started to make their slow climb to the peak of the rollercoaster. Blair had retracted in her seat and she braced herself against the cart. She fumbled around for Dan’s hand until he grabbed hers himself, grinning at the adorable way her nose was scrunched up and her eyes had closed. Someone’s first time was always the scariest.

They continued to climb upward until they were basically at a right angle. Blair was now rattling around in her seat violently.

“Here, I’ll start,” Dan took a deep breath, yelling, “I USE MY SISTER’S CONDITIONER!”

Blair shrieked with laughter but still she didn’t divulge anything, nor did she open her eyes.

“Alright…” Dan winded up for another shout, “I’VE READ TWILIGHT AND IT WASN’T TERRIBLE!”

She was still a statue, glued to where she was, although Dan’s embarrassing confession had made a smile creep onto her face. One last try, Dan thought.

“I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER ACTUALLY BEEN IN LOVE!”

Blair slowly opened her eyes. At least she was able to get a glimpse of their amazing view, before they plummeted down. As they were upside down Dan finally heard a sound from Blair, but it was more like a scream.

“I’M RELIEVED I HAD A MISCARRIAGE!”

The ride ended, their cart coming to a rocky stop. Breathing heavily, Dan turned to Blair. She was gasping for air and she had been right about the frizzy haired thing. Before she started to rake her fingers through her hair, she looked like she had been through a wind tunnel. It was a rare and beautiful sight. Abruptly, Blair undid the bar constricting them and rushed away without even grabbing her coat; without so much as a word.

Dan caught up to her by the boardwalk. It would’ve been dark enough to cover up Blair’s tears if she wasn’t standing in the midst of flashing neon lights. Goosebumps covered her rosy arms and she hugged herself. Out of breath, Dan touched her arm. He really needed to start working out with Nate again.

“You okay?”

“Yeah…”

Throwing up his arms, Dan shook his head. “I am so sorry. It was stupid of me to suggest we share secrets. It’s just a thing my dad and I always did but—“

“Just, shut up Humphrey.”

Dan took Blair’s coat and threw it over her shoulders. Blair didn’t bother to put her arms in. She leaned on the wood railing of the boardwalk. Dan did the same, except he faced the other way into the crowds of passing people. For a while, he just took in the figures walking by and the purplish hue the sky had as the sun set. It casted an almost iridescent shadow on Blair’s face.

She brushed a tear from her cheek. “Please promise me you’ll never tell anyone what I said.”

“Not a soul. What happens on the Cyclone stays on the Cyclone.” Dan confirmed. He bit the inside of his lip, unsure of himself. “You don’t have to answer this, but did you mean it?”

“I think I did,” she said quietly, folding her hands so tightly her knuckles turned a ghostly white. “You must think I’m an awful person.”

“I don’t think that.”

“I just…I wanted a real family. I didn’t want the tortured, Freudian mess we’re growing up in. Does that make sense?”

Dan turned. His shoulder pressed against hers. He was glad to feel it was more sturdy and unshaken.

“Of course it does.”

Blair closed her eyes, then blinked away the last of her tears. “We can do whatever I want today right?”

“As long as it’s in Brooklyn, yeah.” Dan still couldn’t understand how she could flip off her emotions as one flips off a switch.

“Let’s go to your other friend’s show.”

“Are you sure? It’s very underground.”

“I think we’re dressed for the occasion. Plus, I was promised a proper Humphrey tour.”

“We can just stay here or go to the loft. I have ice cream and—“

“Dan.”

“Alright. If we leave now I suppose we’ll make it on time.”

Blair giggled and they continued down the boardwalk to go catch a cab. Before they could get very far, Dan crouched forward and implored Blair to climb on his back. Surprisingly, she indulged in his request, and Dan ran off with her bouncing away, her arms wrapped around his neck and him holding her thighs close to him. In that moment they didn’t have to be Dan and Blair or Waldorf and Humphrey. They could just be two kids, running down a boardwalk like fools; unbothered and unaware that they were falling in love.

*******

**Present**

“We weren’t even dating yet.”

“I know.”

“I was _engaged_ , and I had just told you the most sacred piece of information on Earth.” Blair hissed.

“Yep.”

For about the fiftieth time during this goddamn trip, Dan had said something he shouldn’t have. He swore, when he got back to London, he would sew his mouth shut and begin a liquid diet.

The train had come to a smooth stop and they were gathering their things to go. Blair, with a sleeping Rosey attached to her hip, was whisper-screaming at Dan while he tried to figure out the infinite puzzle that was the stroller. It wasn’t folding, and as they loitered in the aisle, other passengers were starting to get upset and antsy.

“So that _whole_ time you were just preying on me, waiting for my marriage to blow up?”

“You weren’t married yet,” Dan muttered, well on his way to just breaking the stroller.

Blair dodged a seething old passenger. “ _Yet_?”

Finally, the stroller collapsed, and Dan picked it up, walking forward. Blair followed and continued to poke and prod at him.

“You know they have a name for you on the streets Humphrey.”

They were stepping off the train, along with the flow of other stuffed up passengers. “Do they?”

“Yes, _homewrecker_. Ho, for short.”

Dan turned, and then shook his head and continued to stomp away. He would just have to be tight-lipped and stand-offish like Blair was. It would be a nice role-reversal.

Cabs were lined outside the train station and Dan picked a random one, shoving the stroller into the trunk and getting in without waiting for Blair. He glanced out the window at her. She looked like one of the twins from the Shining, the way she was staring at him with her slit eyes. After a while, it seemed she remembered she had a human child in her care and sank into the backseat next to Dan, Rosy squished in the middle of them. The cab set off towards the house, jostling them around on a bumpy road.

“I was just starting to think, ‘hm maybe Dan isn’t as unhinged as I suspected’.”

“ _I’m_ unhinged? That is hilarious coming from the Queen of Constance and OCD.”

“I take your OCD insult and raise you one diagnosed clinical anxiety disorder. Take your pills Humphrey.”

Dan gritted his teeth. “I’ll have to double my dosage if I’m in a car with you for any longer.”

“You would love that. You would love to be in this car forever and ever, bringing up the past and pestering me with your daydreams!”

“Pull over.”

Dan unbuckled his seatbelt, paid the driver, and slammed the door behind him, watching the car speed off and Blair’s open mouth though the rear window.

He walked for a long time after that. His head pounded and he thought the fresh air might soothe it. Dan hadn’t gotten a moment of solitude this entire trip, which he was used to. He wasn’t sure if all of his company, especially that of Blair’s, was a good change or a bad one. For so many years he had avoided feeling whatever it was that came with all the people and all the family. The obligation came with strings and those strings hurt like hell. But, as usual, Blair was right. He would’ve stayed in the conflict, and the melancholy, and the revenge plots; would’ve let it drive him mad, if he could just be with her. Because at least then they were together and not hundreds of miles away, wondering what it might be like if they were.

*******

**January, 2012**

“This one goes out to the soon-to-be Princess of Monaco and the Queen of Manhattan.”

Blair had ended up in some seedy bar, once again back in Williamsburg. It had all the charm of a speakeasy and all the style of the underground clubs one could only see in magazines about the grunge era. Amongst the pulsing lights and people, Blair had clung to Dan for most of the night, reminiscing about how he had brought her to a similar party at NYU. This time was different, however, because they were a unit, friends of sorts. He introduced her to his spiky haired friends. And although she found them the slightest bit grimy, she couldn’t help but envy their bold fashion sense and make up.

“I have a feeling we’re not in Manhattan anymore.” Blair yelled over the speakers, playfully.

“Stick by me Dorothy, I protect you from any witches.”

“If you knew anything about me you would know I _am_ the witch.”

“You? Never?” Dan said flashing an impish smile. He was certainly at home in all the live music and sweaty bodies.

They did shots, listened to a few sets, and danced their hearts out. Blair felt so good just letting her hair down and disappearing into a crowd of other drunk young people like herself. They all had their own complex dreams and ideas and worries. She could just be one of them. Watching Dan’s seizure like dancing was also a major bonus.

At one point, the music slowed, and Jade (the girl with the flashiest hair of them all) called Dan on stage. Blair, confused at the shout out, tugged on Dan’s shirt. He only responded with a wink and a grin and ran off. Slinging a bass around him he started to play. Blair, shocked that he was multi-talented, just stared at the stage as Dan started to sing with the band. The whole time she felt she was stuck in a dream, living out a movie or perhaps someone else’s life. But it was hers and Dan had made it all possible. Gradually, Blair felt her body sink into the music, and she bobbed her head along, entranced with how Dan appeared on stage. With his jacket off and tie undone, he was relaxed and almost ethereal under the fog and the stage’s spotlight, rocking from side to side. Dan was exactly who he was meant to be without the distraction of all the noise that went on in their lives.

It was around two in the morning when Blair decided she should go home. She had avoided the paparazzi long enough and they would be on her trail whether she liked it or not. When Dan’s bike pulled up to the curb, Blair climbed off, and waited for Dan to do the same. While he did, she took off her helmet and hung it over one of the handle bars, playing with its white strap. Dan leaned against his bike. He looked like a greaser in his new outfit and it annoyed Blair how much she liked that. It was almost pitch black. Blair discovered the city that never sleeps’ bed time was around two AM. It was hard to see what Dan was thinking with his face being covered by passing shadows.

“So, did you have a terrible time?”

What an ass. “No.”

“So…you had a nice time?” He was so obviously fishing for compliments.

“Yes.”

“How would you rate your Brooklyn Holiday on a scale from one to—“

Blair quieted him with a gentle kiss on the cheek. She lingered there for a moment, letting herself rise to her tiptoes and look into his eyes. Then she lowered herself, and stepped back.

“Eleven.” Blair said firmly.

Dan exhaled, his eyes shining. “I’m glad to hear that Audrey.”

Blair chuckled, having forgotten they were paying homage to something. “I’ll see you soon Gregory.”

Blair didn’t remember if there were many words spoken after that. She just knew Dan had gone on his way and she had gone on hers. However, she didn’t soon forget it was the best night of her life or the pain she felt in her chest when it had ended.

*******

**Present**

If they hadn’t been so close to the house, Blair would’ve made the cab driver turn right back around and run Dan over. There were no witnesses, so it would’ve been easy. But with innocent little Rosey sleeping soundly in her lap, it was hard to think about murderous plans.

Still, Blair steamed with rage. What right did Dan have, bringing up the past as if it was some tool to distract her? It was all just one big reminder that she had hurt him; that everything just had to be Blair’s fault.

Balancing Rosey in the crook of one arm and in the crook of another holding onto the stroller, Blair entered through the front doors, dropping her things so she could take Rosey up to bed. The house was relatively quiet, save for Cece, who was snoring in a chair by the bookshelves. The sound of peace was soon interrupted when Serena came rushing after Amahle, who was stomping down the stairs.

“Amahle, we need to talk about this.”

Blair kicked off her shoes. “Hey! Can you two give me a hand?”

The women hadn’t heard. They were obviously swept up in their own lover’s spat, which couldn’t be solved with a simple request.

Amahle turned abruptly when she reached the end of the stairs. “How can I talk to you when I don’t even _know_ you?!”

Blair shifted awkwardly. She was not supposed to be present for all of this.

Calmly Serena grabbed her fiancé’s hand. “Don’t you think you’re being dramatic—?“

“You don’t get to call me dramatic!” Amahle said, reeling back.

Blair felt as if she was watching a play. She would have to wait until intermission to escape it.

“I am the same person you fell in love with two years ago okay?”

“Imagine how embarrassing it is to find out your parents know more about your fiancé than you do because of some stupid blog!”

“I—“

“And even though you kept so many secrets from me the worst thing is that my mum and dad won’t be here in the morning because they disapprove,’ Amahle was crying now, “you get this entire band of mates on your side and I don’t even get my parents.”

Amahle stormed away, making her way out through the back. As Serena followed behind her, desperately trying to apologize, Nate and Ines came down the stairs, just as the couple before them had. They too were in the midst of a heated argument.

“Why would you do that?” Ines yelled, and then put on a more delicate demeanor, smiling at the sight of her baby.

Hands on his hips, displaying it had been a strenuous night, Nate sighed. “Because, like I said, I love you.”

Ines took Rosey from a frozen Blair and glared at Nate. “We hardly know each other.”

“You’re the mother of my child!”

“And I don’t have to be more!”

The couple strode off into the next room, continuing their fight in hushed tones as to not wake Rosey from her deep slumber. Blair swore, that girl could sleep through anything. It was almost admirable.

The house grew silent again as everyone retreated to their separate corners to spar or perhaps just rest. It was a sad kind of silence, the kind that occurs when two people run out of things to say. Blair stood in the foyer alone, until she heard a familiar voice yawn behind her. She turned and, of course, there he was, leaning against the doorway casually as if he hadn’t just abandoned her with a baby and a strange cab driver.

“I guess everyone’s asleep.”

“No.”

“You want an apology, right?”

Blair scoffed. “You don’t know what I want.”

“I know _you._ ”

Blair didn’t say anything and instead pushed Dan from his unstable position until they were outside, back in the presence of the dewy heat, being shined upon by the burning, pink light of the setting sun. She shoved and hit him, growing tired and hot. Dan, being the pacifist out of the two of them, just accepted it. When he really had enough, he grabbed her wrists without warning, staring down into her eyes, asking her what she was doing without having to say it out loud. Blair couldn’t give him an answer.

So she kissed him.

At first, it was rough, almost messy. Blair grabbed his stubbly cheek with one hand and pulled at a tuft of hair, just at the base of his head, with the other. She met his surprise with more pressure, not waiting for him to kiss her back. But after a few seconds, he did. Wrapping his arms around her waist, and travelling up her back, Dan’s mouth opened for hers. A shiver went up her spine as they wrestled tongues, breathlessly and angrily. She could feel the hot tips of his fingers trace along the bare skin of her neck. Blair had always felt Dan’s kisses had been soft, almost fragile, like he was scared to hurt her. Now, however, he wasn’t holding back. All their pent up aggression and angst were descending upon them like pouring rain.

It was only when Dan bit down on Blair’s lip that she was able to come to her senses. Tasting a small drop of blood inside her mouth, Blair slid her hands from Dan’s neck to his chest and gave a strong push. Immediately, Dan loosened his grip. He touched his own bottom lip. It seemed Blair was wrong, she was the one who had bit down. It was his blood she had tasted.

Blair cleared her throat, adjusted the fallen sleeve of her dress and strode away, leaving Dan standing outside. She didn’t dare look back. Bad things seemed to happen when she looked back.


	8. What Happens When We Stop Fighting?

**Part VIII**

**“What Happens When We Stop Fighting?”**

**April** **, 2012**

Dan rested his head against the bedpost, admiring Blair with a more than goofy, whistful grin on his face. With the sheets wrapped around her bare body, she looked like something straight out of a Greek myth, severe as Artemis and strong as Athena.

It was his second night sleeping over at Blair’s, they had gotten pretty good about being discreet around Serena. Blair had found his most recent short story tucked away in his bag. After they had fooled around, Dan trying to distract her from his latest flop with hot sex, she snuck it out. He reserved himself to pretend to be asleep, but once she started murmuring to herself disapprovingly about the punctuation, he simply had to “wake up” and argue with her. That’s how they ended up naked in the middle of the night, hunched over spread out pages.

Blair pointed to a particular paragraph, her curls falling down her shoulders over her breasts. “I think you should cut this.”

Dan came to and sat up, eying the page she was referring to. He frowned. “No way. That’s the only humanity this has.”

“If you wanted humanity you shouldn’t have written something so dark and tortured.”

Smiling devilishly, Dan cupped the back of Blair’s head with his hand, his thumb mussing up her hair gently. “Is that such a bad thing?”

Blair glanced up at him, her eyes shimmering. “No, I just never took you for the cynical type.” She held up a page. “I mean this part satirizing the concept of ‘old money’ is brutal.”

“Well I don’t much care for old people or their money.”

“Mm me neither.”

“I would _not_ have guessed that.”

Blair shrugged. “You shouldn’t edit the newspaper if you’ll end up in the obituaries section the next day.”

They laughed and Dan couldn’t help himself but kiss her square on the mouth, climbing on top of her. They fell back onto the sheets of paper, not even noticing their presence anymore.

As he kissed every part of her soft face, he chuckled. “Blair Waldorf.”

Blair threw her arms around his neck, entertaining his strangeness. “Yes, Daniel Humphrey?”

“Did we just… _agree_?”

“I think we did. Although, I don’t know if it’s ideal that the thing we agreed on is a mutual hate for the elderly.”

“Who ever said hate didn’t move mountains?”

Blair threw her head back, laughing, and pressed her forehead against his. “True. Plus, we can’t commit to being good, happy, shiny people. It’s far too much work.”

“Yes. Let’s be the evil villains who are overly-judgmental and heartless and totally meant for each other.”

Rolling over, so she could be straddled on top of him, Blair smirked. “Their stories are so much more interesting.”

*******

**Present**

Breakfast was something out of a Stephen King novel. It was deadly silent, save for the occasional stab of a fork into a bread roll or waffle. And it didn’t help that everyone had abandoned their usual sunny, morning attire for plain pajamas and tired faces. It was refreshingly more realistic but also very uncharacteristic of his family to do so. Only Lily and Rufus seemed to be in high spirits and even they seemed off. Dan wondered why things were so weird. He thought for a dreadful second that maybe everyone had seen his make out session with Blair, but Serena, looking forlorn as she buttered her bread, had yet to chastise him.

Dan hadn’t seen Blair since the day before when, what he was calling “the incident” in his head, had happened. He wasn’t sure how to feel because, in normal Blair fashion, she was avoiding him. Of course, the kiss was awfully good but as he stared in his cup of very black coffee (he was too scared to ask a very angry looking Ines to pass the cream or sugar) he only felt regret. Dan was convinced more and more that he should’ve just pushed her away, or maybe dodged her like a basketball player would. But when she started hitting him, looking at him with those eyes and those lips he couldn’t help giving in. It was chemical he told himself, finally taking a sip of his coffee. Purely chemical.

Blair interrupted his thoughts, sitting down next to him. She had been the only one to bother to get dressed and she just had to look heavenly with half of her hair tied up and the other half floating and bouncing loosely above her shoulders. She smiled towards the other side of the table where Rosey and Nate sat together, and poured herself some coffee, bravely asking Ines to pass the sugar. It was like Dan wasn’t even there, and before he could make her aware he was, Amahle emerged from the kitchen and set down her big, black wedding binder.

With a hand on her hip she tensed. Was that rage? “We’ll be going to the wedding venue to taste cakes and just make sure everything is ready.”

Eric, his mouth stocked with syrupy pancakes, laughed. “Jenny and I can’t.”

“We’re taking Zane to a guerilla fashion show in town,” Jenny finished, seeming to smile so Amahle wouldn’t lunge at her.

“Well, cancel those plans. This is a _family_ affair.”

Serena tried to pat Amahle’s shoulder, which she brushed off. Serena winced. “Babe, I’m sure they were excited for that. And I think—“

“No, they’re coming! All of you need to.” Amahle exclaimed, plopping down in her seat.

“Of course, Amahle, whatever you need.” Lily assured her, arching a questioning eyebrow in Serena’s direction. Serena only shook her head.

“Um, am I required to be there?” Dan muttered.

Amahle sucked her teeth. “Yes. You’re my brother in law.”

Dan put up his hands defensively, while Ines grumbled under her breath. “Men never do what you need them to.”

Nate dropped his fork. It clattered loudly. “What was that Ines?”

“Nothing.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Dan caught Blair side-eying him herself. For a moment, it felt like they shared thoughts.

_“Seems there’s trouble in paradise.”_

_“If there was no trouble it wouldn’t be paradise.”_

_“Humans are rarely content.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Blair, you kissed me.”_

_“…”_

Serena stood and started to help clear the table, obviously trying to avoid the thick tension that was descending upon them.

“We can leave in an hour?”

Murmurs of delayed agreement sounded around the room and Serena gave one last longing look towards Amahle before heading into the kitchen with handfuls of dirty plates. She was never one to do chores, so something was definitely wrong.

*******

Blair wasn’t sure why Serena had chosen to have the wedding elsewhere, outside of the estate. She knew it had always been her friend’s dream to have a decadent backyard wedding somewhere out of the way. But, when they arrived, Blair understood. The venue was placed right on a cliff overlooking a long, sandy beach. Serena and Amahle would marry one another right on the cliff’s edge. Given their cold attitudes, however, Blair couldn’t see that happening anymore.

A man with a scribbly looking mustache sprinted up to them. “Welcome, welcome! Come to the pavilion and have a seat.”

Across from the cliff’s edge was a cozy, wooden pavilion adorned with warm strings of lights and several little stand-only tables. Blair set her purse on one of the tables, claiming it, and Nate stood next to her. Nate wouldn’t know why, but she would be eternally grateful to him for doing that. She wasn’t ready to talk to Humphrey about her recent spur of insanity. What was she even supposed to say to him? Blair glanced over at the table across from hers where Dan bent over chatting up Odessa. Ugh, it was so tacky how the woman could be charmed by him without seeing and pointing out his obvious flaws. Whatever.

“You alright?” Nate asked.

Blair looked down. She was clutching her purse so hard her knuckles were turning a cream white. 

“Peachy.”

Nate wasn’t much for listening that day either. Blair turned her head in the direction he was looking. Ines seemed to be angrily telling Cece something.

“Rosey’s a really amazing kid. I’m glad I got to spend a day with her.” Blair offered gently.

Distractedly, Nate nodded. “Mmhm.”

“And you two make great parents.”

That seemed to get his attention. “I want us to be more than that.”

“Do you? Sometimes we… we think we want something because it’s what we’re _supposed_ to want.”

“And sometimes,” Nate smiled with assurance, “we need to take a leap of faith.”

Blair chuckled. She had always been the one to hand out advice to Nate, being a fly in his ear about ethics, but it had never dawned on her that he might be the one with the answers.

“Just because something is easy and makes sense doesn’t mean it’s bad. It’s…a breath of fresh air.”

“When did you get so smart?”

“I didn’t. I just got older.” He winked and flashed that sunny grin he was known for.

They were on round two of their catering taste test and had just been passed a few shots of terrible wine.

Blair puckered her lips, and raised her hand. “This is terrible!”

“Yes it is,” Amahle agreed, setting the bottle back on the waiter’s tray.

“I’ll be right back,” Nate murmured, having had the last straw, seeing Ines bad mouth him to Cece. Before Blair could tug on his shirt to stay, he was making his way over to the other table.

Slices of cake began to materialize when Dan abandoned Odessa and walked over to Blair. Quickly, she downed her disgusting wine, and turned. She tried to appear deeply interested in the cake in front of her. All Blair could see was swirls of frosting and Dan’s calloused hands gripping the table.

“Hi.”

“Lovely evening is it not?” Another sip of wine down the hatch.

Luckily, he seemed to be okay with small talk. “Yes and the beautiful weather we’re having today isn’t it Sally Sue?”

Oh wait, he was mocking her. “Save me the speech Humphrey. We don’t have to do this.”

“Do what? We’re just having a simple conversation like any two, boring adults who _didn’t_ kiss yesterday would.”

Blair set down her glass brashly, almost breaking the thing, and turned to Dan. “I knew you couldn’t be mature about this.”

“Mature about what? I don’t even know what ‘this’ is, and as usual, you leave me with my head up my own ass…“

“That is a _grotesque_ image—“

“…in the dark.”

Blair dropped her shoulders and took a look about the pavilion. It seemed no one had noticed their quiet bickering. Everyone was still relatively civil and engorging themselves on cake.

“This isn’t the time.”

“When _is_ the time then? _Ten_ years from now when we’re even more bitter and old?”

“You’re the only one here who’s bitter.”

“Says the woman who kissed me so hard I have a flesh wound. Has anyone ever told you you’re a sadist?”

"Yes, _you_ have on countless occasions." Blair lifted her plate in an attempt to at least appear like she was participating in the tasting. “Forget it happened. I was frustrated and heat exhausted, which is the only reason I would ever perform such a heinous act.”

“Hm…I smell bull—“

Not knowing what to do, Blair took some of the cake in her hand and stuffed it in Dan's mouth. Since he was still talking, because he could never stop, the cake smeared itself around his mouth. He stared at her with surprise and a bit of hilarious rage.

Blair let out a nervous laugh, shocked by her own actions. “I’m—“

Suddenly, there was a river of cake running down the neckline of her blouse, into her bra. Blair gasped at the coldness and moistness of it as Dan flicked the leftover frosting off of his fingers. He arched an eyebrow as if to say, “your move”.

Serena whipped her head around and looked horrified to see her friends covered in cake.

“Guys?”

Blair broke her staring contest with Dan to answer her friend, but as she did, a blob of cake escaped from her fingers and hit Serena in the face. Amahle, for the first time that day, burst out laughing. This is when the next attack was fired.

Food began to fly around the pavilion as the mustached man screamed in absolute disgust to see the chef’s hard work go to waste. Nate, Ines, Jenny, and Odessa joined in and soon a full-fledged food fight erupted. It seemed everyone had some steam to let off. Lily, Rufus, and Zane ducked behind hedges and statues as they watched their family make a mess of the place and each other. Finally, after a few things had been knocked over, Rufus roared for the fighting to stop. Frozen, the assailants dropped their weapons; chunks of cakes and pasta.

“ENOUGH.”

Lily, unscathed, emerged from her hiding spot to join her husband. “You all are acting like a bunch of unruly toddlers!”

“They’re right, we should leave,” Amahle sighed, dropping her brandished slice.

“Oh no you don’t.” Lily said, turning towards one of the owners of the venue. “Do you happen to have a hose? The kids can’t possibly go home like this.”

*******

So this is what it had come to; standing behind a restaurant being sprayed down by a bunch of pissed off Italian chefs with a knack for retaliation. He couldn’t stop from laughing at the stupidity of it all. Nate’s sound effects made it especially humorous.

“Oomph! Could you avoid below the belt, Jesus!”

Ines sneered. “No. Make sure to get _everywhere_.”

“So you want my nuts too is that it? Take everything Ines, I don’t care!”

Amahle dodged a particularly strong jet of water. “Stop it, Nate. She just wants you to be serious for once.”

Dan laughed. “Seems serious enough to me given the engagement ring!” He tried to avoid Nate’s crestfallen face. “I saw it in the bathroom. Sorry, man.”

“I can’t believe I’ve subjected myself to this,” Blair groaned, trying her hardest to keep her red skirt down in the midst of the water pressure.

Serena wiped some droplets from her eyes angrily. “None of this would’ve happened if you and Dan could just be functioning human beings for once!”

The others mumbled in agreement as Blair pointed her finger at Serena. “None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t entertained this dysfunctional family image and invited _Dan_ in the first place!”

“Hey!” Nate exclaimed, putting an arm around Dan. “Humphrey’s an important part of this dysfunctional family however judgmental and annoying he is.”

“Thanks Nate... I guess.”

“We _all_ have our flaws dude.”

Amahle snickered. “That is becoming increasingly clear.”

The hose spurted forth the last of its power and shut off. Either it had run out of juice or the chefs had run out of patience for the group’s constant snippiness. Rufus came by and threw towels in their direction.

“Nate is right. Like it or not, we’ve all chosen a certain path that ties us together. We’re a family now. And although that will include petty arguments and misgivings, it also deserves to be resolved, because at the end of the day, this is all we can count on: each other.”

Lily held Rufus’ hand. “I couldn’t have said it better myself. Now, if you’re all ready to put your differences aside; we’ll be waiting in the car.”

The couple walked off with Jenny and Eric waddling after them like penguins wrapped in blankets. Nate started to walk away too.

“Welcome to the nonjudgmental breakfast club Amahle.”

Dan clicked his tongue, joking, “We do this every few years to keep limber.”

Nate laughed, nodding and took his towel, doubling up on Ines’ warmth to make sure she didn’t go cold.

“I'm sorry. I promise I’ll never ask you to marry me again.”

“Not never,” Ines exhaled, walking alongside Nate, “just not yet.”

Serena squeezed the water from her long, blonde hair and cast her eyes downwards. Amahle slowly walked towards her, probably slightly ashamed, and lifted her chin. Dan blushed as the two shared a sentimental kiss. He finally saw, for the first time, how crazy they were about each other and he knew it was genuine because not once did Serena long for him, or for that matter anyone else, quite like that.

“I should’ve told you—“

Amahle shook her head, cupping her fiancé’s cheeks in her hands. “Your past is yours. Your future is _ours_. I don’t care about anything else, as long as I get to share the rest of my life with you.”

Serena buried her head in Amahle dark locks and, hand in hand, the couple made their way towards Rufus and Lily and the car, gushing about their favorite cakes and wines.

Dan was left alone, damp and not sure what he would do, when he realized Blair was nowhere to be seen. He followed the wet footsteps around to the pavilion, and then the cliff’s edge, where she stood. The sun had set, and the only thing that gave light was the moon, the stars, and the faint leftover glow of the candles in the pavilion behind them. Blair’s red skirts were covered in water and clung to her legs like damp tissue paper, the breeze billowing it about. Although her hair had started to dry, the ends had been darkened and made wavy. Dan forgot how much he had adored her curls.

“I’d rather you don’t jump,” he said lightly, “I wouldn’t know what to tell Serena and apparently she has people in her phone who would kill me so…”

Blair kept her eyes on the view ahead of her. The makeup had washed off from her face and her rosy cheeks were spotted with mascara. Her lips were a pale red and slightly chapped.

“Worry not, Humphrey, I’m the one who _pushes_ people off the edge remember?”

Dan shoved his hands in his pockets. “That’s morbid, even for us.”

“It’s what you think though isn’t? I’m big, bad Blair and you’re innocent Humphrey from whom I stole a heart.”

He looked down. “Am I so wrong to think that?”

She finally turned, wiping a tear from her face. “Yes. You can’t keep holding what I did against me. You’re not a one-dimensional hero in one of your stories. My leaving wasn’t about you.”

“No, it’s about _you_! It’s always been about you, Waldorf.” Dan gritted his teeth. He could feel his face was growing hot. He had thought about this exact conversation almost a thousand times in the year following their break up, but it wasn’t so spitefully charged in his head.

Blair, swiftly picking up her skirt, began to walk away. “That isn’t fair.”

Dan followed haughtily, trying not to scream. “You’re right. It isn’t fair.” He stopped and ran his hands through his hair, considering how much he could confess. Then, he realized he didn’t care. “When we were together I thought ‘this is it, this is what _real_ love feels like and all of the mindless noise before didn’t matter’. But then you left and I had to move on—”

“I wasn’t the only one who left!” Blair cried, rotating round on her heel to face him. Dan could see the veins on her temples and her eyes were wide and wild.

Dan felt he was shaking. “What else was I _supposed_ to do? How could I have talked to you after you chose Chuck? Did you really expect me to stay and just lose you over and over again?”

“I lost things too!” she responded loudly, tears now streaming down her face.

“You—“

“ _I lost my best friend_. I went back to Chuck and once again I was miserable and I couldn’t talk about it because the one person I knew who would make me feel better wanted to forget I existed. I needed you.”

“Then why be with him at all?” Dan wanted to be done; for those to be his last words. He wanted to let them hang in the air so she could see the depth of the hurt she had caused. The next thing she said, however, glued him to where he was; staring at her damp face.

“I was scared Dan.” she murmured, “we were getting so serious so fast and I couldn’t stop it or protect myself. One day you might’ve decided that you were still in love with Serena, as you always did. Or maybe you would’ve just decided that you didn’t love me at all; that I was just a pit stop on your way to better things. At least with Chuck I didn’t have to compete against a million other factors… I guess even that was a lie.”

“Blair…”

“You were so in love with me you couldn’t see how broken I was, and when you found out, you were repulsed.”

“That’s bullshit.”

She rolled her eyes like she always did when she thought she was right. “Dan—“

“I would’ve stayed with you through _anything_ ; natural disasters, an apocalypse, the pseudo soap opera that was the Upper East Side, you name it. I just wanted to be with you. After all this time, how could you not know that?” Exhausted, Dan made his way back over to the cliff’s edge and sat down, his legs dangling right over crashing waves. He dropped his head in his hands as he felt the silk fabric of Blair’s dress brush up next to him.

“I wish we had left all of this alone,” she whispered, exhaling as she sat down.

Dan nodded, ignoring the growing well in his eyes. “I wish things were different.”

“Who knows? Maybe after a few years we would’ve gotten sick of each other.”

“Maybe we would’ve gotten married in some grand Tuscan Estate next to a lavender farm.”

“Well, Humphrey, you would’ve made a lovely bride,” Blair shrugged off Dan’s exasperated expression. “I look quite fantastic in a suit and I’m a little sick of wedding dresses after spending six hours with Serena and my mom in a boutique that one year.”

They laughed for a moment and Dan took Blair’s hands in his own. Putting them to his lips, he blew hot air over her fingers. They were dry and ice cold. “Why’d you kiss me?”

“I think…” She didn’t finish the thought for a long time. It seemed she was studying his face as she abandoned her fragment. “It’s the only effective way to get you to shut up Humphrey.”

Dan chuckled and tried to swallow the lump in his throat, trying his very best not to return her longing stare, because for what it was worth, he might’ve been scared as well.

“You’ve got me all figured out, don’t you Waldorf?”

"I like to think I so."

They went back to the house after that. Dan had so much left he wanted to say, some of them not necessarily being jabs or attacks towards Blair, but there was no point. He knew her well enough to know that abandoning her avoidant tendencies probably took a lot. Dan wasn’t going to be the person to push her. He had done enough of that and he decided, right there on that cliff, that he wasn’t ever going to be the guy who made her feel wrong for feeling at all. He wasn’t sure what she deserved, but it definitely wasn’t that.

In a comfortable silence, they walked up the stairs. Everyone had retreated to their rooms for some much needed relaxation after a day filled with food fights and reconciliation. Dan and Blair did the same, however, they lingered in front of their doors that stood across from each other. The pair leaned against opposite sides of each wall. Blair swung the heels in her right hand back and forth like a pendulum, while Dan fiddled with his watch and flicked his eyes up at her.

“I’m sure you’re regretting the day you met me more than ever now, huh?”

“How’d you know?” Dan teased, daring to make eye contact. “To be completely honest I don’t remember how we met.”

Blair furrowed her brow. “Me neither. However, for what it’s worth, I’m not completely devastated that we did.”

Dan put his hand to his heart with sarcasm on his lips. “Stop, you’ll make me swoon.”

It seemed she would turn to go into her room until she turned back. “Can we please stop fighting with each other for now? We might agitate the wedding guests.”

“As long as you hold up your end of the bargain…” Dan removed his hand from his pocket and extended it to Blair, smirking. “Deal.”

She stepped forward and took the gesture. “Deal.”

They continued to shake hands, drawing closer together and occupying the inches of space between them. Dan told himself he should let go, but for some reason he couldn’t, so he let the handshake become infinite until Blair decided to turn away. Still, she held on, and when it became apparent it was impossible for him to let go, he pulled her in.

*******

They crashed into each other. This kiss was just as rough and filled with angst as it was before, but as they settled into it, their lips found the familiar pattern they had been used to: Dan’s hand on her cheek and Blair’s hands exploring his neck and shoulders. Fondly, Blair was reminded how Dan had used to kiss her; softly as he waited for her to tell him when she was ready to be kissed deeper or held tighter. She had always appreciated that.

As they entered Dan’s room, shedding their clothes, he picked Blair up like she weighed nothing, and they fell onto the bed, half dressed and breathing hard, their bodies pulsating against each other. Suddenly, Dan pulled away for a moment. Blair, with swollen lips, hung onto his neck, questioning him with her eyes. For just a split second Blair worried they had gone too far but then, like the strange, boyish man he was, Dan laughed against her hair. He smelled of expensive cologne but underneath it was his old pine and syrup scent.

Wrapping her thighs around his waist, Blair sighed, “What?”

“I missed you Blair.” Dan admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I missed you too.” She pulled him towards her. “Now, for crying out loud Humphrey, kiss me.”


	9. Take Care

**IX**

**“Take Care”**

**April, 2012**

Finals, essays due for that one asshole professor, try to get something else published by the end of the month, drinks with Nate, dinner with the family, Blair smelled especially good today…

“Dan.”

Dan’s eyes fluttered open to the pale, green sunlight of spring. Having completely zoned out, or maybe just dozed off, the sounds of leaves rustling in the wind and the distant city, startled him. He turned a cheek against his soft pillow; Blair’s lap, and wrapped an arm around the breezy fabric that draped over her waist.

“Mm,” was all he could manage with the familiar feeling of sleep deep in his throat.

Running a hand through his hair, which would’ve been just enough to make him fall right back asleep, Blair laughed. “You know, even in your sleep you can’t stop rambling at me.”

“Well, I’m aware you try to win arguments when I’m otherwise occupied or _asleep_. I’ve got to keep on my toes,” he said groggily, smiling up at Blair. Her hair looked more copper than chestnut in the light, and if he wasn’t completely inept when it came to drawing, he would’ve liked to paint her.

The couple were settled in a shady corner of central park. After a long debate on the best breakfast place to go to, they settled on take out and a picnic. Secretly, Dan adored their compromises that followed heated spurts of bickering. At the end of the day, he just wanted to spend time with her and would even stand to sit in some stuffy, rich prick restaurant for an entire morning to do so. The taste of heavenly tacos left on his tongue had been an added pleasure though, and he knew Blair had a secret hankering for street food.

“So,” Dan continued, stretching and yawning. “Are you going to tell me what you’ve got planned for us tonight or what?”

Mischievously, Blair grinned, placing her hand in Dan’s and letting him play with the rings on her fingers absentmindedly. “Let me think about it. Oh! No.”

“You kill me woman.”

Taking Dan’s sunglasses and putting them on, she ran her thumb around the, no doubt, deep and purple bags under his eyes.

“Seems someone has beat me to it. Care to tell me why you look like you’ve gotten as much sleep as a meth addict?”

Blair never missed a beat being so irritatingly observant, Dan thought, laughing. “Maybe I _am_ a meth addict. You gonna break up with me now?”

“I would simply _break you_ if that were the case.”

“Aw, you _really do_ care,” Dan cooed, sitting up to give Blair a kiss on the cheek.

She swatted at him affectionately and rested her chin against his propped up knee, gazing at him with her wide, doe eyes; fiery and bright as ever.

“Stop deflecting, that’s _my_ thing. Now, why are you acting like a zombie?”

“Can’t it be both of our things? Like a fun, couple’s activity?”

**“** Humphrey…”

Dan sighed. He wasn’t really ready to divulge this side of himself to Blair, especially since they were still very much in the honeymoon phase of their relationship or at least as close to “honey” as they could get. The salty, sharp jabs at one another hadn’t been lost.

“I’ve got so much on my plate right now that’s all. Between school, and writing, and all this weird family stuff I’ve just taken on a lot.”

Blair didn’t reply, just nodded. He knew she understood more than anyone.

“I um…I suppose you think I’m complaining too much.”

“No.”

“You’re disgusted by my sunken face then?”

“Yes but, no.”

“Hm, I’m running out of reasons for why you’re looking at me like that.”

“I’m always looking at you like this Humphrey.”

“Creep.”

“Dope,” Blair teased and pinched Dan’s ear. “Will you promise to at least get some sleep before tonight? I refuse to go on a date with a corpse.”

“I promise,” Dan said, softly kissing Blair on the tip of her nose and then her lips.

**Present**

Blair laid against Dan’s chest for a while, her breasts facing up to the ceiling and her hair surrounding her like she was floating in a wave pool. The edges that framed her forehead curled from sweat so, needless to say, it was a night full of exercise. She wasn’t sure if she was awake or half asleep as Dan's breathing ever so slightly moved her body up and down. Peeking up at her toes that hung off the bed just so she could position herself diagonally to snuggle into Dan, Blair soaked up the peach light that danced in and out of the curtain. It was pleasant, peaceful too, and it all culminated into an altogether familiar and unfamiliar feeling. It had been a long time since she just wanted to lie in bed with someone by her side, with _Dan_ by her side, and think of nothing and talk to no one. Closing her eyes, and swallowing the sleep in her throat, Blair let herself sink into the bed, for the time being. There was nothing to interrupt them.

Dan stirred under her, wrapping a heavy arm closer around her chest. His hold had enough pressure but didn’t feel like being restricted by a snake as cuddling often felt with other people. It was a hard balance to reach and yet Dan did so with grace. They floated about in cream sheets for a while until he turned towards her. They faced each other.

Sliding a hand down her head and then landing on her cheek, Dan exhaled a shaky breath. Classic, nervous, Humphrey. “Hi.”

“Don’t spoil it.”

Dan chuckled, biting his lip. “Does her majesty prefer a joke?”

Blair let her fingers fall over the smooth skin on his arms, gripping the rough and smooth hand that cupped around her cheek. “We talk too much.”

With understanding, Dan only nodded his head against the pillow that sat beneath it. For, Blair wasn’t sure how long they gazed at one another, taking in the glow of the morning sun that grew more and more brilliant and hot as time passed. She could feel the goosebumps erupting around each inch of her body when Dan opened his mouth to say something. Blair put a gentle and stern finger to his lips. He obliged and remained silent, holding her hand in his. Simply, like it was a perfectly normal thing to do, he mouthed the words “I love—”.

Before Blair could react or even run away, a firm knock sounded at the door. Dan shot up like a bullet and Blair followed suit, slipping off the bed to grab her clothes from the floor.

“Daniel, it’s Cece, I need to speak with you. It’s urgent.”

“Uh…coming!” Dan called back as Blair hit him dead in the face with his shirt. “Ow, what?”

“Do you really want to explain what I’m doing in your room right now? To _Cece_?!” Blair growled, shimmying on her skirt and trying not to laugh as Dan navigated his way into some pants. This was a serious matter.

“Good point,” Dan agreed, tossing the pillows and sheets back into place. “Alright, get in the bathroom.”

“No! Tell her to come back later.”

Ushering Blair towards the small bathroom, Dan tried reason which was neither of their best tactics. “Look, you and Cece are a lot alike and, as you know, when you want something you’ll do anything to get it.”

“True, I’m very ruthless,” Blair turned, wagging a finger in his face, “But _I’ve_ never been the secret before.”

Dan braced his hand against the top of the doorframe. Smirking with those stupid, beautiful pink lips. “It’s kind of hot right?”

“No.” Blair lied, flipping her hair.

*******

Laughing, Dan closed the door behind Blair, letting it make a quiet click. Adjusting his shirt, he took a deep breath and let Cece in. As expected, the woman swept in like it was her own room and surveyed it, most likely calculating how uncomfortable she could make Dan by merely standing there. Awkwardly, Dan shifted his weight, keeping a hand on the doorknob, hoping this would be a speedy visit.

“May I…” Cece looked over at the disheveled bed with disdain and put her attention towards the desk chair. “…sit?”

“Of course,” Dan said, moving his laptop and papers off the desk.

“Daniel, I’ll get right to the point. I need to know that you’re not planning any sort of grand gesture for Serena’s big day…”

“Um, I’m not really one for big gestures Cece. Public displays usually make me want to set myself on fire—“

She was already on the rampage, spitting words as fast as a slam poet. “…because, mark my words, if you so much as say a harsh word as a result of some unresolved puppy love, I will make certain that you won’t even live to regret it. That girl is my life.”

Dan blinked, trying to process the blatant death threat he was receiving and sat down on the bed. Folding his hands together, he set his elbows on his knees. “I promise you I won’t be up to any ‘mischief’. That was never my style, and honestly, the last thing I want to do is mess up Serena’s wedding.”

Appearing slightly surprised, since she probably expected some sort of debacle, Cece pursed her lips. “How... mature of you.”

“Yeah well, I’m deep into my twenties now and I don’t think lamenting over previous ill-advised relationships will do me any good. And Serena’s family, that’s all.” Dan had never said that with so much confidence, so much meaning. He hadn’t realized how far in the past his relationship with her was, and how good that was for the both of them. Now, if he could only experience that clarity of closure for others.

“That’s nice to hear. That girl can always use more family to keep her head on straight.” Cece took Dan’s hand like he was her own grandchild. The disapproval she used to have for him seemed to wash away over the years and was replaced with reluctant, and then kind acceptance of him into the family. “I suppose this new outlook on life is Mei’s doing? I’ve been hearing all sorts of things about her.”

“Maybe, but we didn’t work out.”

“Seems she was more your speed if you ask me.”

“Are you making a joke Cece?”

Squawking out a laugh, the woman rose to leave. “Perhaps I am. Who knows? I’m an old bat these days.”

“I couldn’t imagine that,” Dan quipped.

“I just think it’s about time you find someone who cares for you. You’re all mal-nourished and pale these days.”

“Has someone thawed your frozen heart?”

Cece made her way to the door Dan had opened for her and patted him on the shoulder. “Old age is a swift, cunning, and often sentimental bitch.” As she turned to go, she held a pinky out to lift up Blair’s lace bra. It seemed they hadn’t been as thorough stripping the room of sex as they should’ve been. Dan snatched the bra away and threw it over his shoulder, avoiding Cece’s arched eyebrows and judgmental glare. God, he was definitely blushing.

“That’s mine,” Dan blurted, hearing his voice crack.

Cece squinted back at him and squeezed his cheek. “In another life I would believe you strange boy.”

With that, she left.

Dan let out a sigh of relief and locked the door just in case anyone else wanted to come by for a morning call. He tiptoed over the creaky floorboards to release Blair from her hiding place, but when he peered inside she was gone, leaving only an open window and the chilly draft of an August morning.

*******

Serena lay on her stomach by the pool, trying to even out her unfortunate tan. She was counting on Amahle to remind her when to flip over, but she wasn’t a reliable alarm clock when she was in the next chair in and out of a catnap. From the pool, Eric emerged, splashing water everywhere.

Throwing a flip flop at him, Serena groaned. “I just got dry Eric!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Eric mumbled, rubbing a towel over his head and then wrapping it around his neck. Suddenly, as he basked in the sun, he saw a figure in the corner of his eye rush by. Looking in the direction of it, he laughed out loud and shaded his eyes.

Serena, tired of being out of loop and on her stomach, turned, and lifted her shades. “What? Are the tan lines really that aggressive?”

“Oh my god,” Jenny spat from the outdoor dining table, abandoning her toast and butter and staring in the same direction Eric was.

Amahle stirred and sleepily sat up. “Serena, flip.”

“Yeah I got it babe,” Serena giggled. “Guys, what is it?”

Eric pointed up to the roof. “Is that _Blair_?”

Standing to get a better view, Serena walked up next to Eric and followed his finger. Indeed, there was Blair, basically scaling her house like a mad raccoon and crawling up to the roof.

“What the fuck is she doing?” Amahle complained. “She knows we have hallways right?”

Jenny wiped her mouth, laughing with a touch of bitterness in her tone. “Come on guys. Can you _really_ be this dense?”

Serena, Amahle, and Eric all turned, still perplexed.

“That’s Dan’s room she just snuck out of.”

Turning back, Serena and Amahle grinned. “Holy shit.”

*******

After a much needed shower, he had forgotten how physically intensive sex with Blair could be, Dan bounded down the steps and into the kitchen. He felt new and shiny besides the slight confusion that had snuck its way into his head. Why Blair had left out the window was a mystery to him, but he was sure they would talk about it, about everything, when he came sliding into the kitchen. To his subtle disappointment, he was only met with Nate and Amahle having a seemingly intense conversation about oranges over the counter while Rufus was finally getting around to fixing the TV through his fresh pair of wire-rim glasses. Dan feared Lily would turn him into one of those regular mid-western dads. He had a polo on and everything.

As Dan bounced over to get a glass of water, Nate took notice of him. “Morning, death star.”

“Call me sunshine,” Dan joked back, giving Nate the manliest of kisses on the cheek, after downing his drink in one gulp.

Nate beamed, returning to his bowl of cereal. “See, this is the male comradery I’ve been missing! Where has this Dan been hiding?”

“I’ve been here,” Dan laughed, goading Nate to join in, “right over your shoulder.”

Amahle just stood against the counter, slowly sipping her steaming cup of coffee. She looked a bit like a school teacher with her tightly done up hair and dark, narrow glasses. Her eyes were narrower in the frames and perhaps…wise. Like she was onto something.

“I take it you slept well?”

Not being to help himself from nodding like a lap dog, Dan drummed his hands against the counter. “You could say that, yeah.”

“Bed was comfy?”

His high was starting to decline. “Yes, my compliments to Raymour and Flannigan’s.”

“We buy locally. Need anyone to come by and…clean the sheets?”

She took another sip of her coffee as Dan nearly opened the refrigerator door into his face.

“Nah, I think we—I mean, I think I’m good.”

“Okay,” Amahle murmured calmly, although she seemed to be giggling straight into her cup.

His mouth full Nate asked, “Did I miss something?”

“Nope,” Dan concluded as he stress-ate some grapes.

The trio retired to the pavilion out back where Eric was sunbathing and Zane was feeding some feral cat he had found roaming the grounds. It was an odd sight but not the oddest one Dan had seen.

Casually as he could, Dan interrupted the small talk, brushing crumbs off his t-shirt. “Where is everyone?”

“Serena’s gone to get her wedding dress. She had to bring an entire team of ladies and I’m afraid I’m not one of them.” Amahle answered, still giving Dan some sort of knowing look. Maybe she _did_ know something.

“She’s kind of superstitious lately isn’t she?”

Amahle tilted her head. “It was _my_ idea. I can’t see her in her dress. It’s bad luck. Everyone knows that.”

“Yeah,” Nate agreed, giving Dan a soft punch on the shoulder, “everyone knows that.”

Dan rubbed his arm, scowling at Nate. The conversation continued without him as he stared at the dark liquid in his cup. Every so often ripples would be made throughout the coffee when someone set an elbow on the table or picked up a glass.

“So Blair’s with them?” Dan muttered under his breath at first, and then when he realized no one was listening to him, spoke up, perhaps a little too loudly. “Blair’s gone too right?”

“Of course, she’s Serena’s maid of honor,” Nate replied, simply, although his usual wide smile seemed suspicious at best.

“Did she say anything before she left?”

“No,” Amahle chuckled. “Should she have?”

Dan wasn’t sure. He was finally realizing that he had no idea what sleeping with Blair could mean. He wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to have expectations even if he had lots of them; one of them being that she would stay long enough to have a proper conversation about all of this.

Nate prodded, “Dan?”

He sat back, feeling the buzz of the night before leaving his body in waves.

“I don’t know.”

***

Blair hung on for dear life as Serena zoomed her way down a winding road with hardly any railings. Serena had decided today would be the day to test out her extravagant engagement gift from Amahle. Blair thought it was sweet and found it amusing to think they would probably try to one up each other when it came to gifts every year. At least, that’s what she would do, but not everyone was like her. She had to remember that.

In the back, sat Ines and Jenny who were learning all kinds of things about each other like their shared passion for black eyeliner and wearing lingerie as clothing. They were so meant for each other it almost made Blair laugh. She hadn’t given much thought to Jenny because all her reservations about the girl had gone away with her fading memories of high school and Chuck. Now, in the light of the Tuscan sun, she was just her friend’s kid sister and that would have to do.

Yelling over the roar of the car’s engine, Serena turned, her golden hair whipping under its lilac scarf. “When did you get in last night?”

Blair felt her ears had been shot out by the wind. “Huh?”

“What time did you get back last night?!”

“God, Serena, I really can’t hear you!”

Suddenly, Ines leaned forward, clawing Blair’s seat with her red fingernails. “Enough chit chat, we know you had sex with Danielle.”

“Ew!” Jenny shrieked, clasping her hands over her ears. “Did you have to say it like that?”

“It is human nature.” Ines mumbled, growing excited. “You are together now, yes?”

Serena continued to steer like a heathen. “Of course! It’s kismet.”

“Please do not speak for me,” Blair huffed, crossing her arms. “None of you know what you’re talking about.”

“I wish that were the case, but Serena and I saw you escaping his room like you were doing espionage.” Jenny sneered, glaring into the rearview mirror at Blair.

“Maybe I was doing espionage,” Blair turned, “ or maybe I was gathering Intel on _you_. Don’t think I don’t know what a career in ‘freelancing’ fashion means Humphrey!”

“It means just that, freelancing!”

“I will stop this car!” Serena declared, seeming almost satisfied with her maternal instinct.

“You should we’re here.”

As a mad woman would, Serena swerved the car into a parking space in front of a small boutique on the edge of a town square. Unbuckling her seatbelt, Blair stumbled out of the car. She wiggled a finger around in her ear and tried to get it to release some of the tension that the wind and Serena’s awful driving had created.

“Remind me to never let you get behind the wheel again.”

“You don’t even have your license.”

“Yes I do, and as a citizen of the world, I think you need to get _yours_ suspended.”

Serena only laughed and put an arm around Blair as they went inside. Cece and Lily pulled in behind them and strode out.

“I understand why you two took a town car now,” she whispered, accepting a nudge and an eye roll from Serena.

“My granddaughter has many talents. Driving isn’t one of them.”

The women entered the shop. It was surprisingly big on the inside considering how small the storefront was. Jenny skipped around critiquing just about everything as Blair ran her hands against the racks of dresses and silks. A flood of memories came rushing back to her and, with it, came residual sadness she had tucked away a while ago. She had gone through all of this; the fittings, the cheesy photos, and the fancy family dinners. It had left a bad taste in her mouth, especially now that she knew how scared it all made her. The spotlight a wedding shone on her was too harsh, too revealing. But of course, Serena basked in it like it was her energy source. She had a way of facing fears Blair couldn’t.

Champagne began to flow as Serena modeled about in an array of poofy gowns and frocks. As everyone became increasingly drunk, the kind of drunk that’s bubbly and wildly girlish, they whooped and cheered for each outfit they found to be the most appropriate. The Italian tailors looked out at their American guests with a bit of distaste, but Blair had to admit, being rambunctious and fun with a room full of women was something she needed. Soon, in their bridesmaid dresses, Blair, Ines, and Jenny joined in, making a dance party out of the affair.

At one point in the fitting, Serena ceased her catwalk, curtaining herself off in the dressing room. Cece and Lily called out for her, but they were quickly distracted by the chocolate strawberries the tailors brought out. They were very set on buttering Cece up and getting her to pay for extra, and unnecessary, accessories. Blair tried herself to coax her friend out, asking to come in, a bottle of champagne in her closed fist. Serena obliged, and Blair squeezed between the curtain and the wall. Serena sat on the floor in a drop-dead gorgeous white pantsuit and flowery hat. She wore a pale, pink lace button up under her blazer and lining that blazer were shiny, diamond buttons.

“Whoa, Elvis,” Blair teased, sinking down onto the floor next to Serena.

Serena twirled a loose thread around her finger. “I had Jenny make this the day Amahle asked me to marry her.”

“It’s…perfect.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. Even with the hideous hat,” Blair said, gently poking it upwards so she could see Serena’s face.

“I don’t think Lily and Cece will approve. Us Van der Woodsens are a traditional folk.”

Blair snorted, “Since when?!”

“Sounded stupid as soon as I said it,” Serena laughed, nodding. The only thing they had in common; they were anything but “traditional” women.

“If they love you then they will love this, because this is very you.”

Serena smiled, smoothing her pants. “Thanks, B.”

Blair brandished the bottle of champagne that was starting to form condensation and handed it to Serena. “This calls for champagne.”

Pushing away the bottle, Serena stood. “No thanks.”

“I haven’t seen you drink this entire trip. Do you have some sort of disease?” Blair quipped, scrunching her nose.

“I’m trying the whole sober thing.”

Blair stood and went to sit on one of the fluffy ottomans in the dressed room. She crossed her legs and felt the cool A/C against her bare back. She had almost forgotten that she hadn’t even bothered to zip up her bridesmaid dress. Usually she’d be leading this whole thing. She wasn’t sure what was wrong with her.

“That makes you sound like an old crone.”

“I want to turn my life around.”

“If I had a penny for every time…”

“Yeah, yeah. I mean it this time. I _have_ to mean it.”

“You shouldn’t change yourself for anyone.”

“I agree,” Serena took off her hat gingerly, sitting beside Blair, “but maybe you get to be the best version of yourself for them. This person I’ve become has always been inside of me. I just locked her away for a while.”

Blair nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She felt like crying for no reason. Or maybe there was a reason. She just didn’t know.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Staring at the ground, Blair set the champagne bottle down, not wanting a drink anymore.

“Talk about what?”

“Let me guess…you had a wonderful night together but now you’re avoiding Dan because you don’t know what’s going to happen and you always know what’s going to happen?”

“If I wanted to be analyzed I would’ve gone to a shrink.”

“No shrink has been through what we have together.”

“Would’ve been nice if a shrink was present for some of those events, don’t you think?”

Serena smiled, bobbing her head in agreement. “You’re so used to deflecting you risked a serious neck injury this morning just to run away.”

“Cece visited his room! What else was I supposed to do?”

“Ugh…I told her not to do that, it's so unnecessary. Anyway, you don’t have to go so far as ignoring him completely. I bet he’s just as confused and scared as you are.”

Blair stood haughtily. “Why are you so okay with this all of a sudden? When Dan and I dated you wanted to rip us apart!”

“I know…and I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing for that. I was wrong about you two.”

“No you weren’t. We broke up. I chose someone else.”

“But he made you so happy. You were like Blair 2.0 with Dan.”

“This conversation is about seven years too late, S.”

“I’m just saying…I’m just saying that you should put yourself back out there. I know it’s been forever since your last serious relationship; another two forevers since Chuck.”

“And I am _fine_ with that. Did you ever stop to think that I might be better off alone?”

“No. You deserve to have someone in your life who takes care of you.“

“I can take care of myself just fine, thanks,” Blair stormed away into a different dressing room. “I have to get this dress off.”

***

“Four!” Nate bellowed as he putted a golf ball into a cup.

Balancing a club over his shoulder, Dan shook his head. “You only say ‘four’ if it’s a long distance shot man.”

“I think I know what I’m talking about. Which one of us grew up rich and privileged, hm?”

“Both of you,” Amahle jabbed, winning herself one more game with yet another skillful shot.

The remnants of the house were kind of dull without all the feminine energy whirling through the halls, so Dan and Nate started to make bets on who was better at throwing things into other things. Soon, with Zane’s enthusiasm for corny American pass times, it turned into games of intensive mini golf. So far, Amahle was kicking both of their asses combined, although Rufus was following close behind, winning money he didn’t need. Eric had found interest more in setting up the game than playing it. Dan had to admit, his brother made a pretty good architect if only equipped with random, household objects.

“I’m getting cleaned out,” Dan sighed, dropping his club, “I need at least some cash to get home.” He made his way back to the lawn chairs and cranked up his dad’s 90s music CDs. They weren’t so bad when they weren’t being sung right in his face over steaming waffles at seven in the morning.

Nate took a seat himself and cracked open another beer as the others started a new game, Eric scrambling around to make a brand new maze of holes. The sun had completely set and the moon and the sprinkling of yard lights lit the damp field.

“You back to being a sour puss?”

Dan grimaced. “That phrase doesn’t fit you.”

“I’ll say what I want. Life’s too short.” Nate tossed Dan a beer. “What happened between you and Blair last night?”

Dan ran his thumb over the ridges of the beer’s cap. It seemed almost everyone in the house knew what he had gotten up to last night. 

“That’s between me and my diary,” he joked, finally, tapping his bottle against Nate’s.

“I see. Nice.”

“It was.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Exhaling, Dan dipped his head. “I have no idea what she wants. She climbed out of a window to get away from me though, so that’s probably a bad sign.”

Eric walked over, motioning that the new obstacle course was finished but soon joined Dan and Nate’s duo as Amahle, Zane, and Rufus went toe to toe, shouting in the background.

Nate nearly choked on his drink. “Ha ha! That’s amazing.”

“She’s basically Cat Woman,” Eric agreed, grinning.

“Very helpful guys. Thanks.”

Eric sat down himself, laughing. “Sorry, it’s just you two worked the hardest to separate yourselves from all the ‘high school drama’ but you’re still acting like you’re seventeen. I mean, this was _bound_ to happen.”

“When we were seventeen Blair wanted to consume my soul and shit it out. Like that movie…”

“Jennifer’s Body?” Nate offered.

“That’s the one.”

Nate clapped his hands together decidedly. “Well, whatever. You’re not seventeen anymore. You’re a grown ass man with a steady income and a non-pathetic life.”

“Eh, I wouldn’t go that far,” Dan muttered.

“Before you start knocking on Blair’s door, begging her for answers like high school Dan would, figure out what _you,_ grown ass man Dan want,” Nate demanded.

“Please don’t call me ‘grown ass man Dan'.”

Eric pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you deliberately missing the point?”

“No, no I get what you’re both saying. I just don’t even know what I want. I thought I was over her.”

Nate chuckled. “Lying to yourself isn’t healthy dude.”

Dan sighed, furrowing his brow. “Did you really think this was ‘bound to happen’?”

“I would’ve been worried if it hadn’t,” Eric admitted, shrugging.

Nate huffed, “Just quit your whining and _be_ together already. As a child of divorce…”

“You’re not special. We’re literally all children of divorce.”

Eric pushed Dan’s head like he was some sort of dunce. “So you understand we simply can’t relive that trauma.”

*******

As Blair hung up her bridesmaid dress, taking a moment to run her fingers down the emerald silk, a scratchy knock sounded at her door. She hoped it wasn’t Serena coming to chastise her about her newfound snippiness. Blair had taken it upon herself to skip dinner and head straight upstairs when they had all come home from their dress fittings. She wasn’t hungry and, ironically, when she always had something to say, she couldn’t fathom saying anything to Dan. She didn’t enjoy being unsure of anything, especially him, but now, he had become a vacuum of confusion. Blair felt like a girl again the way her face became flushed and her vision went a little blurry as she thought about him.

Just as she reached the door with every intention of opening it, Dan’s voice spoke. “Blair?”

Her hand lingered over the brass knob. Then, there was the conundrum of unresolved past feelings, past hurt which didn’t cross her mind when he pulled her into his room, or when her kiss her lips, his hands travelling from her cheek to all down her back, or when he laid her down on the bed, ripped off her dress, and…

Then Cece came in the next morning, speaking of caretakers and good women for Dan; better women than Blair; women who didn’t leave him for assholes and sorry excuses. She wanted so much to be one of those good women for Dan and for whatever hatching relationship might’ve been after spending a night together, but Blair wasn’t sure she knew how. 

Another knock sounded at the door, softer this time like Dan had decided to leave or give up. Blair swallowed hard and pressed her forehead against the wood before her, laying a hand against it.

“I’m here,” she murmured.

Dan was quiet for a while until he cleared his throat. “Can I come in?”

“No I’m…” Blair shook her head trying to come up with an adequate excuse, “...menstruating.”

As she winced at her own lame lie, she could hear Dan laughing. She could almost imagine him throwing his head back, that wide grin plastered on his face.

“You know I have a sister right? And that I’m not a twelve year old boy?”

“That’s arguable and not just anyone can see me in this condition.”

A second silence followed, inspiring Blair to think he had walked away until Dan muttered, “I’m _anyone_?”

“For the past few years, yes.” Blair could hear the sting of her own words attack him, however, she had no idea how to express herself other than in jabs and sharp phrases. It was what she did best after all.

“I know we didn’t plan for this to happen, and that’s hard for us given our anal retentive qualities but…” Dan took a shaky breath in. Was he really so scared?

“You’re still my friend and we made a promise a long time ago to-”

“We haven’t upheld that promise have we? I’m afraid it’s quite empty now. Let’s...let's just forget it.”

Expecting a striking argument Blair almost sobbed when Dan shortly replied. “Right. I guess we’ll forget about it then.”

***

If he had heard a sniffle or even a peep from Blair, Dan swore he would have knocked the door down and demanded something more than “let’s forget it”. But only silence ensued and Dan wasn’t the guy to knock down doors for girls. Apparently, at least in this moment, he was the guy who left with his head hung low.

As always with Blair; he was a mistake, a blip in her perfect plan that led to better things. And, as always, it was like swallowing rocks to accept that.

*******

**April, 2012**

She had a key now.

Blair had to admit, it had been a long time coming since the loft had become her unfortunate second home. She couldn’t even call it unfortunate anymore since she had helped Dan repaint and add a touch of her style to it. He was weirdly more than willing to do that, however, Blair was starting to find that Dan’s constant mission was to make her feel like she belonged.

Putting in her key and hearing the delicious click of that ancient lock she had come to love, Blair stepped in expecting for Dan to come rushing forward demanding flowers. They had decided, since they were to be equals, they would take turns wooing the other. This week it was Blair’s turn and she was not one to disappoint. However, her excitement was not met with anything. Carefully, she closed the door behind her and set her things down on the counter, making sure her heels were as loud as possible. Still nothing. Finally, rolling her eyes, she called out for Dan. On the third time he showed himself, but he might as well have not at all because he looked like a wreck. His nose was running and his eyes were so bloodshot it was like staring into a cherry slushy. It was nice that he had at least made an effort to get dressed, but that effort was made impractical by his lack of pants and hair product. A t-shirt and boxers weren’t exactly the right attire for the night Blair had planned.

“I left you alone for eight hours and you get hit by a bus?!” Blair exclaimed, backing away from him and spraying the small hand sanitizer she had in her purse. She needed sage or something. What was it that plague doctors used? She couldn’t remember.

In a stuffy voice Dan replied, “no need to get the shaman. It’s just a cold. I’m gonna need a few more minutes to get ready.”

“If this is just a cold then the swine flu was just a sniffle.”

Laughing, and then immediately wincing because it probably hurt to, Dan fiddled with the kettle he had on the stove. “I just need some tea and a shower.”

Braving the space around him Blair stepped closer and touched his hair. It was damp. “I think you already showered love.”

“Oh right. Must’ve blacked out,” he droned, nearly collapsing as he dropped a tea bag in his mug.

Catching him and holding him up with some sort of unlocked strength she wasn’t aware of before, Blair put his arm around her shoulder and led him to the bed. At first, he objected, but he grew tired and was perfectly fine to just crash into bed when they got to his room. Taking off his shoes and tucking his legs away into bed, Blair tried to shush his nonstop, incoherent babbling.

“Mmhm, sure…yup, uh huh.”

Settling in, Dan sniffed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Blair murmured, sitting down and laying the back of her hand over his forehead to check his temperature. He had a fever for sure and he was way too clammy for her liking.

“You don’t want to be here with all my snot and illness.”

Blair smirked. “Who would? This is a fall from grace Humphrey and you didn’t have much of that to begin.”

After a fit of coughs, Dan sighed like some forlorn widow. “You probably had teams of people with you when you were sick.”

“I had Dorota,” Blair chided, quietly thanking her maid for being so forbearing with how she handled someone getting sick.

“Right. Sorry.”

“It's okay she was more than enough. Have you eaten? I can cook about four things and one of them includes soup.”

“Sounds great nurse.”

“Good. I'll be right back”

Shedding her coat, Blair walked out to the kitchen and got to work. For someone who claimed to be such a mess, Dan had a lot of ingredients in his cabinets to work with. Within half an hour, Blair had put together a pretty tasty soup that would’ve made Dorota proud especially since she had vowed to her maid that she would never be the kind of woman to cook for people, much less a man. That vow seemed childish and far away as Blair brought over a bowl of soup and some cold medicine to Dan’s bedroom. She knew Dan would do the same for her.

Dan sat up with a substantial amount of effort, looking shocked that Blair hadn’t left. “That smells amazing.”

“I know. I’m multi-talented.”

“And they said she couldn’t get more infuriating,” Dan chuckled, drinking down the soup gratefully. “In all seriousness, thank you. If you hadn’t stayed I probably would’ve crawled to the phone and had an ambulance pick me up.”

Dropping two tablets into Dan’s hand, Blair handed him a glass of water. “Not used to being sick alone are you?”

“I haven’t been sick since I was about eleven,” Dan admitted, grimacing as he swallowed the medicine. “I was usually on the other end of the spoon after my mom left. Jenny got sick a lot.”

“She would,” Blair muttered bitterly as Dan just laughed at her wisps of remaining feud with his sister. “Why didn’t you just let me know you felt so under the weather? I know you might not believe me, but I am capable of rescheduling.”

Laying back like he couldn’t stand to be upright anymore, Dan pulled Blair into the bed with him. Acting reluctant, like she wasn’t enamored with his cotton sheets, Blair crawled in next to him as he scooted over.

Loopy as ever (the medicine was kicking in fast), Dan rubbed a strand of her hair between his fingers. “I want you to think I have it all together and…”

Blair hung on his words like a fly to slow dripping honey. “And…?”

“I don’t want you to have to take care of me. We both know you’ve done that to point of mental anguish and I—“

“I’m Blair Waldorf. Taking care of everyone and scheming is what I do.”

“Who takes care of you?”

Blair took pause and cast her eyes downward. She had never thought of that. Well, she had, but it was usually a passing thought that one didn’t want to entertain for longer than a few seconds for fear of becoming too sad, too filled with melancholy. She had always rationalized and tucked away the thought with the idea that she was “Blair Waldorf”; some sort of super human heiress who could do anything for herself and those she loved. That routine was getting old and tiresome, however, and Blair too was starting to wonder, at the end of the day and all the drama, who would be there for her. Looking across from her that person seemed to be Dan, and she wasn’t too disappointed that it was. In fact, she was relieved.

“Dan?”

He was almost too far gone, into the depths of his cold. “Yes Waldorf...?”

“Can we promise each other something?”

Alertly, Dan opened his eyes, inching closer to Blair. “Of course.”

“I’ll always take care of you if you take care of me.”

“I’ll always take care of you if you take care of me,” he repeated dreamily, smiling from ear to her and holding Blair closer to him. “You are dressed especially bad ass tonight. What's the occasion?”

She fished some tickets from the pocket of her leather pants and waved them in Dan’s face. “Since you’re far too out of it to go I guess I can tell you I got us seats to your favorite band.”

Feigning a gasp Dan rolled over. “Were you willing to go to some dingy rock concert with me, Waldorf? God, you’ve lowered your standards.”

“I’ve been doing a lot of that lately haven’t I?”

“Well, for what it’s worth, thank you. I love this.”

Kissing him, Blair let a laugh escape her lips. “I expect an earth shatteringly good date and even more earth shattering sex next week.”

“Blair don’t! You’re going to get sick now.”

“Then you’ll just have to keep up your end of the deal won’t you?”

Over the next few days, he did just that as Blair slipped into her own cold. He was there to relieve Dorota of her usual duties and provided Blair with warm soup and as much entertainment as she wanted. He even put up with her demands, which were even more lofty and impossible when she was sick. Dan brought up the way Blair called him “love” the entire time she was there to take care of him and they argued over appropriate pet names for at least an hour. Settling on the occasional “love” or “darling”, (which Dan was required to pair with a Clint Eastwood accent) they decided “Waldorf” and “Humphrey” were good enough for every day adoration. The night was capped off with Blair cuddled up into her “love’s” chest and a bedtime story, something Dan made up off the top of his head. It was a fairytale about a boy and girl, one rich and one poor, who loved each other and fought off every demon and monster to be together. Blair gave it a 4/5. It was a little too unrealistic for her taste, however, if she was being honest Dan was never good at writing anything less than close to life.

*******


	10. You'll Still Have Me

**Part X**

**“You’ll Still Have Me”**

**May, 2012**

Staring at him from across the room was this beautiful girl. She looked like she had stepped right out of a painting or a classic black and white film, caught the Q train, and sprinted over to the party just to stare at unsuspecting men who would melt in the presence of her withering gaze. Her hair, which cascaded down her shoulders and back in a raspberry chocolate waterfall, flipped effortlessly as she conversed and laughed along to unfunny and humorous jokes alike. Her smile, rare as the shiniest diamond, lit up the entire room. Acting as honey would to a fly, people flocked to it. She was warm, even as she tried her best to be cold and mysterious, and it didn’t take long for everyone to notice. She was truly one to bring a man to his knees, begging for her to just stoop to turn her head towards him.

This game was killing Dan.

**_Eight Hours Earlier…_ **

Quite possibly the best sight in his life was seeing Blair laugh too hard. It was a difficult task to make her laugh so much, he had been gathering intel on what she found amusing, but when all the research was done the end result were well worth it.

Tears streamed down Blair’s face as she reached in her bag for a tissue. She did this cute thing where she tried to control the fluid coming out of her nose as she laughed herself silly, but it never worked and only made her laugh more.

“I will get through this!” Dan exclaimed, cracking his neck and flexing his fingers.

"Yes, grow up!"

Blair pressed her hand over her mouth and sandwiched herself between the green, leather couch they sat on and Dan. They had gone to the public library with every intention of studying (studying at the loft often led to immediate distraction and making out) but Dan had shown Blair his latest story, a scathing satire, and they completely lost it, building on each other’s crazy ideas about the subject matter of the story. It just happened to be Gossip Girl.

“Gossip Girl is dead…” Dan typed into his computer, holding in a laugh.

Blair grinned, ignoring the shushes and glares they were getting. “Highschool Blair would be so happy.”

“And slightly disappointed,” Dan giddily added, flinching as Blair hit him on the shoulder. “Oh come on, Gossip Girl was like the Bible to you Constance Girls.”

“Don’t act so innocent. I know you’ve sent in a few tips yourself.”

“If you can’t beat em’ join em’.”

Blair let out one more laugh and sighed. Untucking her legs from their crossed position, she rested her arm against the back of the couch, looking at Dan. “Is _that_ what you were doing?”

Dan stopped typing to meet Blair’s eyes. “What?” He recognized a familiar attitude on her face, the slight curl in her lip. “Don’t pity me, okay?”

“I’m not!” Blair said defensively, raising her hands.

“I was perfectly fine being out-of--the-loop ‘Lonely Boy’ alright?,” Dan sat back and placed a hand on Blair’s thigh, “Plus, if it weren’t for all that headache I wouldn’t have met you.”

“Hm.”

“What do you mean ‘hm’?”

“I don’t know how much I agree with that statement.”

Dan shook his head and scoffed. “I guess all that was for nothing then. Thanks Waldorf!”

“No, no. I just mean maybe we would’ve met if you hadn’t come to St. Jude’s or dated Serena.”

“Yes, but would you really like me?”

“Who said I have to like you?” Blair teased, kissing a spot just behind Dan’s ear.

“ _Ha. Ha._ Look, all I’m saying is, if we met today, by some miracle, you would shun me.” Dan motioned to the space between him and Blair. “This took years of work and wearing down.”

“You did not ‘wear me down’ Humphrey! I cannot be worn down. Girls like me are wooed.”

“Says you.”

Blair twirled her finger around the curls at the nape of his neck. “Aw, Dan. You really think I wouldn’t notice you if we met today?”

“No, I don’t” Dan admitted sadly, looking over at his girlfriend with honest eyes. He wasn’t sure how he got to be with Blair in the first place. Doing it without all the invisible strings that they had been given seemed too difficult.

*******

**Present**

Blue strobes and pulsing bulbs of purple flashed off of Blair’s royal blue dress. The club, a pick courtesy of Dan and Nate’s “extensive” Google research, was hot and filled to the brim with sweaty, dancing bodies. For Serena and Amahle’s bachelorette party they demanded they go to every hot spot in the city and that included the disco-fusion dance bar they were currently in. After a lot of pestering from Serena, conversations Blair only overheard, Dan caved and added his chosen location to the list of places on their map. His choice was surprising, since it was filled with things Dan despised; people and techno music, but Blair guessed Nate had a little more to do with the selection than he did. Wedged in a car along with; Ines, Odessa, Zane, Eric, Jenny, the brides-to-be, Dan, and Nate, Blair was driven into town for a night of drunken “fun” and nostalgia for single life. She wouldn’t need the latter. It was impossible to be nostalgic for something one had in the present.

Blair’s fingers grazed the rim of her drink as she looked into the green liquid. Looking back at her was a deformed, poison-green version of herself. She thought it an accurate representation given how shitty she felt for ruining what was supposed to be an otherwise event-filled night. She probably shouldn’t have ordered a green apple cosmo.

A storm of black leather and smokey eyeshadow whisked past her. It was Jenny, of course, sitting down to order a Moscow Mule and a water for Eric. She looked over at Blair with her raccoon eyes. 

“Having fun?”

Blair grimaced. She had been sitting down too long, complaining she had danced far too much and became far too sweaty, but really, she was tired of bumping into Dan on the dance floor and not having any witty jabs to send his way. She was more flustered around him than she would’ve liked.

“Lots.”

Jenny took her drink from the bartender, taking a small sip. She frowned, as if she was considering something.

“You could have anyone you know.”

Blair didn’t know what to say to that; wasn’t in on whatever joke Jenny was telling. “I could?”

“Obviously, you’re perfect. And yet you chose _Dan_.”

Blair gulped down her drink, nodding. “The mind reels.”

“It doesn’t make sense to me,” Jenny sighed, crossing her arms over the bar. “Whatever underlying issues we have, I release them okay? I’ve got nothing to gain from ‘taking you down’. Women should support women...”

“Hold on-” Blair set down the glass, letting it make a large _thunk_ sound. “Do you think I dated Dan because I have some unresolved vendetta against you?”

“Don’t you?”

Blair laughed, throwing her head back, which wasn’t such a good idea considering the booze and the bright, flashing lights behind her. 

“No! I mean I used to but it was extinguished. I’m an adult woman with a life. As far as I'm concerned you were a psycho fever dream from long ago. Like Georgina.” 

Jenny smiled, chuckling herself. “Oh! Thanks...?”

The two laughed for a while after that, enjoying their own change of heart and indifference towards one another.

“Wait…” Jenny ceased her laughing, her eyes widening. “You were actually in love with him?”

Blair exhaled through her nose, tapping her fingers against the water droplets outside her drink. 

“Something like that. Go ahead. Tell me it doesn’t make sense, and that we are complete opposites, and that we had no business being together and bla bla bla...I’ve heard it all before.”

“I was gonna say it _does_ make sense.”

Turning, surprised, Blair ordered another round.

“Now that I think about it, you two are a lot alike,” Jenny shuddered and took another swig of her murky, brown alcohol. “I used to call him Queen B when he was being especially snobbish. God, you might be soulmates.”

“Let’s keep that theory to ourselves.”

Jenny spun around on her stool, facing the other half of the club. Blair turned her head to follow the girl’s eyeline. All she could see were a sea of people, dancing like their lives depended on it.

“No matter what he says, he never got over you. I don't think he ever will.” grabbing her purse, Jenny began to brave her way back into the crowds, “but that’s just a theory.”

As Blair watched her go, she looked out onto the dance floor. In a divide, an alleyway of sorts, that parted the dancing fools, Blair saw Dan. He seemed to be having fun as he laughed at how ridiculously Nate acted in his inebriated state, when he looked back at her. Even though they hadn’t spoken more than three words to each other in the past two days, Blair didn’t look away or at her shoes. He ran a hand through his black hair, his dark eyes twinkling and folding into crescents as he offered a kind, if not sheepish, smile. She stared right at him and, in the midst of the madness he acted like an anchor, pulling her back to somewhere warm and comforting.

***

**May, 2012**

Miracles seemed to be happening all over the place that day. Somehow, Dan had ended up at a Met Gala , equipped with expensive wine and cheap conversation, and Blair didn’t even have to drag him there. Of course, it was all in sacrifice for what she was calling the “experiment”. 

**_Four hours earlier…_ **

“We’ll arrive separately, acting like we don’t know each other.”

Dan pressed his phone to his ear as he walked down fifth avenue, hoping someone could help him find an adequate suit for the night. “What character shall I play for you? _Bond_ or _Bruce Willis_?”

He could hear Blair giggle. “Come as you are.”

As he stepped into his third store for the day, Dan examined his frumpy flannel in a nearby mirror. “I don’t think either of us want that.”

“Trust me, _I_ do.” Blair replied. God, her phone voice drove him crazy, and she knew it.

“So what? Do you want me to hit on you? Put the smooth moves on you?”

“If you’re so inspired to, yes. Imagine we’ve never met.”

“I’ll be all awkward and jittery. You won’t even want to talk to me, will you?”

Blair chuckled, blowing a kiss into the speaker. “We’ll see won’t we?” 

She hung up and Dan only smiled, grabbing the least ugly and loud-looking tie he could find.

He tried to arrive a little late, as he would if he didn’t have Blair and her internal alarm clock that made them just on time, yet fashionably late, for everything, and perched himself on a stool by the bar. He felt he was alone at sea while crowds of guffawing, rich strangers stood on shore. Busying himself with a hefty drink, Dan looked at his watch and wondered where Blair could be; wondered if they could forget about this oddly sexual experiment and go catch a movie.

But then he saw her.

She stood amongst a trio of middle-aged ladies who looked like they were berating her about the lack of ring on her finger and crown on her head. Blair simply gave them that burning smile, that was sweet and strong all at once, and laughed. Dressed in a sheer, floral gown she looked just as glorious and royal as any princess and she didn’t need the crown or title to do so. Dan swallowed, grabbing two flutes of champagne from a nearby tray, and made his journey towards Blair.

Passing by, he heard small pieces of the conversation. It was hardly engaging and settled somewhere between vapid and irritating.

“It’s only a matter of time until you find the Zeus to your Hera!” one of the women chirped, looking Blair up and down.

Dan swooped in and did his best attempt at “charming” while maintaining his usual smart-ass demeanor. “Actually, I don’t think that’s the best pairing to strive for ladies. Zeus raped Hera and forced her into being with him. And then proceeded to commit adultery at her expense countless times.” He turned his attention to Blair who seemed to be holding in a substantial amount of laughs. 

Dan handed her the champagne. “You seemed thirsty.” Shaking her free hand, trying to refrain from kissing it like some modern day prince, he smirked. “Daniel Humphrey.”

Blair, after a considerable amount of time examining his outfit, smiled and accepted his hand. 

“Blair Waldorf.” 

The ladies, slightly enraged that they’re vulture-esque picking apart of Blair was interrupted, slowly started to disperse, feigning interest in other things. The pair began to walk in no particular direction, and Dan watched carefully as Blair sipped her champagne. She didn’t give him so much as a second glance that showed signs of deeper acknowledgement. The woman deserved an Oscar.

“Thank you for saving me. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had to listen to that misogynistic drivel for one more second.”

“I’m sure you would’ve been fine, you seem quite capable of handling yourself.”

“I do, don’t I?” Blair paused in front of a large 18th century oil painting of the Italian landscape. “So, Daniel Humphrey, what brings you to the Met tonight? Are you a rich benefactor? A trust fund baby perhaps?”

Dan couldn’t tell if she was teasing him. “You can call me Dan. And I’m none of those, fortunately. I’m a writer of sorts. I’m studying at NYU.”

“Oh!”

“Is there a problem?”

“I used to look down at NYU. I think I once called it an “Ivy for those who couldn’t get into the real Ivys”.

“I have to disagree.”

“Since going there, I’ve changed my mind, I assure you.”

“You went to NYU?”

“Yes. I couldn’t make any friends there though. I was far too close-minded. I’m finishing up at Columbia.”

“No friends at all?”

Blair grinned, a glimmer of his version of her shone through. “None.”

“Hm.” Dan put a hand in his pocket and glanced at the painting. “Well, Columbia is a very impressive achievement.”

“Thank you, I know... What do you write?”

“All sorts of things, mainly this world you live in. I find it fascinating; the ‘glamour and the glittering shit’ that comes with the wealthy.”

Blair laughed. “Is that a direct quote from one of your stories?”

“From an essay, yeah.”

“Well…” Blair turned to face Dan and he did the same as she ran her two fingers down the lapel of his jacket, drawing her eyes from his chest and up to his lips. “Will you write about me with such distaste Mr. Humphrey?”

“No. I don’t think that’s possible Ms. Waldorf.”

Their stamina for their roleplay went out the door after that. By the end of the night, Dan had Blair pressed up against the wall of a coat room, her underwear around her ankles. 

Breathlessly undoing his belt, Blair murmured, “this dark green suit looks way too good on you. Nice choice.”

“Just let the record show,” Dan exhaled, pressing kisses into her neck, “I would’ve won you over after the _first conversation_ if we met now.”

Blair quieted him with her tongue down his throat. “Please, I just got tired of carrying that entire performance on my back.”

Dan retracted. “Admit I made you weak in the knees.”

“Humphrey…”

Planting a tender kiss right where she liked Dan whispered, “admit it.”

“Fine.” Blair huffed, letting out a soft laugh. “What can I say? I have a thing for scruffy writers.”

“That’s all I’m sayin'.”

**Present**

Not sure when she had crossed the dance floor to get to him, a consequence of the cosmo in her stomach, Blair extended her hand to Dan.

“Care for a dance?”

Dan set down his drink and gave her a lopsided, sort of pained, grin. “I guess.”

They swayed beside each other as the DJ played out percussive beats and synths that bellowed through the speakers. In the blue lights and the disco ball’s reflective sprinkles of luminescence, Dan's eyes looked jet black and the t-shirt under his button up glowed neon white. Blair watched as his hair flopped up and down in a hypnotic pattern. With every movement, theirs and other people’s, they drew closer together until their bodies pressed against each other. Usually, Blair would protest the closeness that was so sticky and slick with sweat, but she just wanted to be near him without having to speak. They danced around each other, Dan’s hand sneaking onto Blair’s waist as she clasped her hands around the back of his neck.

Then the music stopped. They were snapped out of their trance, looking over at the DJ’s table. There was Nate, basically on top of the thing, pounding his chest like King Kong. Suddenly, bashing itself into the club, “Modern Love'' began to play, causing Blair’s portion of the dance floor (the wedding party) to erupt in loud, excited cheers. The general rambunctiousness continued as Dan laughed. 

“He’s playing our song!”

“We have a song?”

“No, but Nate and I do.”

Blair laughed. Dan turned like he wanted to sit down again, and she felt she had a choice to make; one that would never present itself to her again. She could either lay out all of her feelings, sacrifice a saving face for once in her life, or she could let him go.

Grabbing his hand, Blair chose the first.

“I don’t want to forget about it!” she yelled, hoping her voice would carry over the music.

Dan stared down at her hand like it was some rare jewel; like he always had. Blair worried as he said nothing.

So she went on, swallowing down the fear like a large pill. “I would never want to forget anything having to do with you.”

Blair searched Dan’s eyes for some sign of life. He only nodded as a smile spread itself across his face, a genuine one this time. He bobbed his head to the music seeming zoned out, and far away, and then looked right back at her. Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her. 

And for a moment, just a brief moment defying time, Blair felt her heart quicken and the fast pace around them slow. The music lowered its own volume and the lights dimmed. She was dizzy and they were in their own pocket dimension away from the noise and the unnecessary knots that tied her down and kept her in a cage. He had her now. And she had him.

Without another word they ran out into the streets, escaping the hot club, hand in hand, stopping every so often to kiss or laugh or to just be closer.

They got as far as the beach before they decided to rip each other’s clothes off, trading a bed for the back of Serena’s Ferrari. Once again, they were kids getting away from the noise and listening to Cigarette After Sex whine from the radio. Blair breathed hard as she looked through the sunroof and the blue-denim sky that was characteristic of 4:00 in the morning. Had they really stayed out so late; talking and fucking? Blair’s sense of time was starting to peel off at the edges, being in sweet, infatuated heaven.

Turning, she glanced at Dan as he lit a cigarette. In another life, hell in another year, she would’ve smacked the thing out of his hand and followed it with a well-put together presentation on the dangers of smoking. However, in the present, that would only make her a hypocrite and Blair Waldorf was anything but. After Dan took a generous drag, looking disheveled and debonair with his button up opened and his pants unzipped, Blair gently took the cigarette from between his fingers and puffed on it herself. He smoked the low tar kind. Coward. Or perhaps, braver than she was to want to live just a little more.

Dan, as he always did, met Blair’s gaze with a longing look, as if he was waiting on her to confess something. To her chagrin, she had confessed all she could for the night. Anything else would’ve come out in mudslides of unfinished sentences and bad words.

“What do we do now?” Dan murmured as if the question was more a query or daydreamed thought. He took back the cigarette and blew smoke out of the open sunroof. “It seems you can't keep your hands off of me Waldorf. You’ve got Humphrey fever.”

“Well after hearing that phrase...I’m cured!” Blair jabbed, pretending she would get up to go.

Dan pulled her back onto the folded down seats of the car, their faces pressed together this time, and their bodies leaning into one another. He really was her perfect fit. She wondered if he knew that.

Blair relished the quiet for a moment, letting Dan brush through her hair with his fingers as she inhaled every part of him. She wasn’t sure if this would last for a long time. Good things rarely did.

“I want to be young again,” she whispered finally, feeling her eyes moisten.

Dan chuckled softly, continuing to caress her head. “You _are_ young Blair.”

“The kind of young I am now is accompanied with baggage and fear. I want to be the kind of young that comes with fairytales, and first loves, and foolishness that makes you totally unaware how big and awful the world is. And I want to have been with you when I was that kind of young, because maybe I wouldn’t have wasted it.”

“You didn’t waste it.” Dan assured, kissing away Blair’s tears as fast as they fell. He didn’t hold her like she _had_ to be there, like she was shackled to some unspoken and unwritten contract she wasn’t privy to. He held her like she had freedom and purpose. He held her because he could and she stayed because she could. Because she wanted to. That was everything. 

“Hey, we have epic imaginations don’t we?”

“ _I_ do, yes.” Blair retracted her fangs even though she knew Dan found them hilarious and would only meet them with more kindness. “Yes.”

“Then let’s be young; overly hormonal, teenage-dream, holding hands, young. I’m sure you’ll get tired of me at some point.”

“What if I don’t?”

Dan shrugged, biting his lip. “We’ll figure it out. We’re just kids.”

Blair chuckled as Dan wiped the snot from under her nose. He had a tendency to take what she found disgusting about herself and turn it into something tolerable; beautiful even.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you...” Dan giggled to himself as he hesitated, so proud to leave Blair on a cliffhanger for a change. “Do you want to be my date to this wedding thing I have to go to?”

Blair caught on, faking apathy. “Hm. I’ll check my schedule.”

“Okay, let me know.”

“I didn’t say I’d consider it. I just said I’d check my schedule.”

Dan roared with laughter as Blair squealed and rolled on top of him. The cigarette had burnt out and became lost in the seats somewhere.

“I would love to go to a wedding with you Dan.”

Before he could ravage her one more time, Blair noticed her cellphone’s screen light up every few seconds. She dislodged from Dan and grabbed it. There were about twenty-seven missed calls from Serena and Amahle. In one of them, Serena was simultaneously crying and hiccupping as she complained her car had been stolen. Dan showed Blair his own phone and Rufus and Lily had texted him like they were about to send out a missing persons report.

Snickering, Dan kissed Blair’s shoulder. “I think we’ve committed grand theft auto.”

“Is it really theft if she gave us the keys and just forgot?”

“We should get back Bonnie.”

"Fine, Clyde."


	11. Our World

**Part XI**

**“Our World”**

**Present**

The next couple of days, and Dan didn’t use this word often or at all, were bliss. Him and Blair acted as any young, new couple did; sneaking in and out of each other’s rooms and sharing stolen glances at the dinner table, making up any excuse to be in a space together. They learned, however, well into their bubbled relationship, that everyone knew what they were up to; even before it happened.

***

“I never took you for an affair type of man Daniel!” Lily said one day, interrupting a game of footsies with Blair.

“Honey, I don’t think he is,” Rufus laughed, his eyes twinkling at the couple. “Glad you two finally stopped fighting it.”

Lily set down her fork. “There is a fundamental piece of information I am not aware of!”

“He broke up with Mei a while ago mom,” Jenny concluded. “Now please, stop the flirting. I’m trying to _eat_.”

Dan just laughed as Blair’s face flushed a pinkish red.

***

They still butted heads of course, bantering was one of Dan’s favorite parts of Blair, and it was only escalated by their competition of who could win Serena’s favor for “best groomsmen/bridesmaid”. They argued over seating charts, and aesthetics, following Serena and Amahle around like vivacious campaign managers.

“You can’t seat her there! She’ll rip out his throat and use it as a flute!”

“I thought you would do that too and look where we are now!”

Nudging Dan, Blair stomped her foot. “Not everyone is like us!”

Serena turned in a tornado of blonde hair, her eyes crazed and wild. “And thank God for that!”

Amahle only met their extraordinary efforts with amusement. “Let’s get you some tea, darling.”

***

They talked about everything, even the difficult things that put bad tastes in their mouths and brought forth memories wreaking of leftover mistakes and sorrow.

Dan told Blair about his first year in London; how he survived on a minimally paying job and his writing, how his blood might as well have been replaced with smoke and whiskey, going into bars almost every night. He even went through how much he ached for Blair after their break up. Then, he told her how it was soothed for a while by friends and Mei but some part of him still didn’t feel whole. Dan went on about going to college in London, knowing Blair would’ve fell in love with it as he did, and the day one of his classmates asked him to come in on the ground floor of a literary magazine he was starting. It exploded into something bigger than Dan could’ve imagined. He admitted he was scared of that corporate side of things, that he thought about his old dream of being a writer in recluse often.

Blair opened up about Chuck. When she confessed to Dan about how many times he cheated on her, all the times he left her in favor of some business deal, the way she felt like his hands were around her neck even though they weren’t physically there, he could’ve ran to wherever Chuck was and beaten him within an inch of his life. But he didn’t, because it wasn’t his narrative, it was Blair’s. She was the one who had to take action; and she did. After a particularly tear-filled and violent night she finally left him, for good. She knew it was something she had to do on her own.

“I realized that love is selfless and if Chuck really loved me, he would’ve let me go. But I had to do that myself.” She didn’t say that with any sadness or longing. She stated it as an undeniable fact as if it would win every last debate she had had with herself on the matter.

She went back to New York, feeling homesick. Right in the crook of Dan’s arm, she admitted she had continued to send him emails and texts even though she knew he had gotten a new number; a new identity it seemed. Apparently, it helped her to talk to him, even if he didn’t talk back. For a long time, Blair learned what it was to be alone in New York as everyone carried on with their own lives, not needing her. For once, she could just be with herself and learn what it was she liked and wanted; not to be at the mercy of any image or categorization. She was just Blair Waldorf, working her way through internships and jobs at fashion magazines, waiting for the next bigger and better thing.

“I was working ten hours a day for these snobby women, getting black-out drunk whenever I could, learning new things, like boxing, just to escape boredom, rejecting and accepting men I never would, missing you more than I ever predicted, and it was...liberating.”

Dan kissed her between the eyes, knowing what it was to finally be rid of all the burdens you throw onto your own back. He had gotten out of that trap himself and the view from outside was breathtaking.

***

The night before the wedding, the “non-judgmental” Breakfast Club hung out in the living room with the addition of Ines and Amahle. Laying comfortably between Dan’s knees was Blair. She wore one of his t-shirts over her floral skirt, just like she used to. If anyone could make that combination look good, it was her. 

As he stroked Blair’s auburn hair, her pale skin gleaming in the moonlight, Dan looked out at the scene before him with glee. Jenny and Eric wrestled about on the couch for the last marshmallow in the package, as Nate goaded Amahle to dance along with him and Ines as she worried about the rain that was pouring outside.

“I’m locking myself away if this doesn’t stop by tomorrow.”

Serena leaned over the grand piano as she turned up the dial to the music, beaming over at Amahle. He was glad to see her so genuinely happy, especially in the presence of Eric and Jenny who were already complaining about being tired, rubbing their eyes and looking like little kids in their onesie pajamas.

“Sh sh! Everyone shush!” Serena exclaimed, carefully increasing the volume of the radio. “What about this one?”

Blair shook her head under Dan’s hand. “Ugh, no this song is about an abusive relationship.” 

Serena’s eyes became misty. “Dan?”

“She’s right. If you switch out ‘sweet like cherry wine’ for ‘stinks like cherry wine’ it’ll make sense.”

Throwing herself on a nearby couch like a Victorian woman with weak constitution, Serena buried her face in her hands. “What are we supposed to do?”

“I can’t believe you haven’t picked a first dance song. Isn’t that like wedding 101?” Nate exhaled, taking a short break from him and Ines’ exuberant silliness.

“We were preoccupied with a million other things…” Amahle scoffed, squeezing Serena’s shoulder.

Dan rubbed his hands together, knowing this would be the last time he tried to save the day. He sat on the piano’s bench, stretching his fingers, and began to play, hoping that years away from the instrument didn’t weigh on him too much. Closing his eyes he began to to play “Somethin’ Stupid” as everyone just watched. He hoped they were more entranced than annoyed. Just then, he smelled Chanel #5 and vanilla, turning to see Blair had sat next to him to play the other part on the right half of the piano. She joined in, because of course she knew all the words, and he almost fumbled over the keys watching the song escape her lips; angelic and soft.

_The time is right, your perfume fills my head_

_The stars get red_

_And oh, the night's so blue_

_And then I go and spoil it all_

_By saying something stupid_

_Like I love you_

_I love you_

_I love you_

_I love you_

He could feel Blair’s eyes on him as the song ended, his finger holding down a note until he realized it wasn’t meant to be held. Dan’s hand came from the piano and went to Blair’s lap. She only smiled as if they had said all they needed to, and as soon and as fast as the moment happened, it ceased with Serena and Amahle’s abrupt applause.

“That’s perfect!” Serena gushed, wrapping her arms around Blair and Dan.

Amahle smacked Dan on the back gratefully, cheering. “We found our song!”

***

Dan had settled into sleep, Blair tucked under his arm, when his phone rang in the middle of the night. Carefully untangling himself from Blair, knowing she didn’t take too well to an interrupted beauty sleep, Dan rolled off the bed. 

Thinking it was probably Dev, calling to demand more pages he answered groggily. “Yeah?”

Mei’s shaky voice responded. “Hi, Dan.”

Dan’s eyes widened. She was calling him from a new number; he was sure of that, because if he had known it was her he wouldn’t have answered. Slipping out of the room in only a hoodie and boxers, Dan tip-toed downstairs to take the call in private. It would probably incite a lot of angry shouting and he didn’t want to wake anyone.

Closing the back door behind him, Dan finally took a breath. “Why are you calling me?”

“You know why. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Should’ve thought about that before you fucked Frank.”

“I told you that was a mistake. Do you think I would purposefully throw away a _year_ of my life for him?”

“You tell me Mei.”

She sighed, seeming to understand he couldn’t get past her “mistake”. “I got my invitation to Serena’s wedding. I wish you had told me.”

“No good would come from you being here.”

“Is _she_ there?”

Dan winced. It hadn’t dawned on him that he had told Mei almost every detail about his and Blair’s time together. “Of course. We’ve reconnected, we’re happy.”

“Don’t lie to yourself. This is how it always went wasn’t it? You obsess and wait on her while she obsesses and waits for someone else.”

Clenching his fist, Dan did his best not to go bat-shit. “It’s different now.”

“What do you think is going to happen Dan? Do you think she’ll pack up and leave for London after the wedding? Are you so deluded to assume that she, of all people, would uproot her whole life for you?”

“I wouldn’t ask her to.”

“Then what are you doing?”

Dan clutched the phone tightly. He had nothing to say; nothing to rebuke with.

“Hello?”

He hung up and shoved the phone in the pocket of his hoodie, returning upstairs to where he felt warm and welcomed. Still, Mei’s words rang in the back of his head and he couldn’t help but listen to them.


	12. Serena, the Invisible String

**Part XII**

**“Serena, the Invisible String”**

**Present**

Blair’s eyes snapped opened, excitement fluttering about in her stomach as her brain clued her in that it was the day of the wedding. After a long time of avoiding weddings herself, she couldn’t help but feel giddy for Serena. The day was sure to be gorgeous; perfect even, especially with Dan by her side. Blair felt around for him but was met with an empty right side of the bed. Stretching, she sat up and checked her phone. A text appeared on the screen from Dan saying, “helping Dad bring over some stuff to the venue. He’s got a bad back.” Blair smiled at his inappropriate use of certain emojis and jumped off the bed, running into the bathroom to get ready.

Her and the rest of the wedding party arrived in satin robes, hair half done, deciding it was best to get dressed at the venue so no one would be late. Blair buzzed around barefooted with curlers crowning her head, stopping only a few times to kiss Dan and admire his butt in his tuxedo pants, organizing things all the while so the brides wouldn’t have to. As guests started to file in, she bumped into an agitated Amahle who was running around in an unlaced wedding dress.

“Amahle slow down, slow down!” Blair said, coming forth from the bridesmaids chambers to tie her friend in. “What’s wrong?”

Amahle gulped, shaking her head like she wanted it to fall off. “I haven’t seen Serena all day.”

“It’s bad luck to see the bride isn’t it?” Blair asked, trying to give her reassuring smile. “I’m sure she’s in her own room.”

“She wasn’t,” Amahle cried, “Oh god, she’s backing out isn’t she? It’s flight or fight time and she is a flyer!”

Blair couldn’t deny that, but now wasn’t the time for logistics. Pulling Jenny out of the room with her, Blair ushered Amahle back into her own chamber. “Take a deep breath. Jenny is going to stay with you and I am going to go look for Serena. Okay?”

“Mmhm, yeah good idea.”

Blair, like some wedding planner/superhero hybrid, rushed into action and grabbed her bridesmaid's dress (luckily still tucked into its covering), making a mad dash for outside and texting everyone who wasn’t Amahle that they had a code red on their hands.

***

Chuck stared across the Italian cliffside with considerable approval. Serena had chosen an adequate wedding destination, and partner, despite his previous assumptions. They were assumptions based on her past behavior, but lately, Chuck was finding the past didn’t have such a heavy importance and significance as it once did. He certainly wasn’t able to lord it over people as he had so many times. 

Taking Raina’s hand, they walked along the path to get to take their seats. He hoped to mingle with a few select people before they had to leave, one of them including Blair. They had never had a proper reckoning after she abandoned him in Monaco and it would be good for her to see just how well he was doing.

All at once, a whirlwind of red hair and silk passed him by, merely tapping him on the shoulder.

“Blair?”

It was her, Humphrey following close behind. It seemed they were holding hands but Chuck didn’t dare think anything of it. 

Hardly giving him second glance, Blair continued on her path, running off. “The wedding will begin momentarily!” She called back.

Dan, strangely enough, was the one to give Chuck the time of day. He offered a strong handshake.

“So…” Chuck murmured quietly, “I take it you two are... together?”

Still shaking his hand, as if he intended to crush bone, Dan only smiled. “Have a nice time, Basshole.”

***

Blair found Serena in the bathrooms on the other side of the venues with her head hung on a toilet. It was all too similar to the girl she had known since seventh grade.

Putting aside her dress, Blair knelt next to Serena, gathering her hair in a ponytail. “What happened?”

“I can’t do this,” Serena stammered, looking like she might hurl again.

“Yes you can. We’re not our pasts, remember? _You_ said that.”

Serena seemed like she wanted to say something more but instead buried her head back in the toilet.

As Blair patted Serena’s back she thanked whatever invisible entity that was watching over them that her outfit was hung up by the sink. Maybe this could be salvaged.

“I think I just saw Chuck.”

“I forgot I invited him. It was on Lily's behalf. I'm so sorry.” Serena groaned into the bowl.

“No, it’s okay. It’s more than okay, actually, because I don’t _care_. I just passed him by like he was some stranger. And I never thought I could say that about Chuck, all the damage he did is still here of course. It's just fuzzy and far away now. And I think it’s because he isn’t at the center of my world anymore. I have other things, _good_ things in my life that keep me where I want to be.”

“I love you B, but does this have a point…?”

“Amahle is your good thing. And no matter how much you drink, and run, and self sabotage that’ll always be true.”

Staggering, Serena rose and made her way to the sink, washing her hands and splashing her face. “I haven’t been drinking.”

“Then…?” Blair felt her eyes widen as she thought back to all of Serena’s sober efforts and her overemotional streak in the past few weeks. “How are you pregnant?! Did you…? _SERENA_.”

“I didn’t cheat on Amahle if that’s what you’re thinking,” she sighed, wiping the crumbling mascara from under her eyes and applying a fresh coat. “We planned this months ago. We’ve been together for a few years and it made sense.”

“I thought you were ‘roommates’ for the first couple of years.”

“Oh, come on, did anyone really believe that? I mean, we shared a bedroom.” Serena’s shoulders bounced as she laughed. “Anyway, we decided to have a family a few months ago, so we got a sperm donor. After that it was kind of just a waiting game to see who would get pregnant. I didn’t expect it to be me, or for it to happen this soon.”

“Did you show up to a single biology class?!”

“You _know_ I didn’t.” Tucking a bit of hair behind her ear, Serena glanced at Blair. “I don’t know if I’m ready to be a mom, B.”

Blair pressed her shoulder into Serena’s. For the hundredth time they were S and B, in a bathroom together, talking over life’s trials and tribulations. Some things never changed.

“After dealing with Dan and I for an entire month, I think you will be.”

As the women laughed, a soft knock sounded behind the door. Dan peaked his head in. 

“We’re just about ready out here. You okay Serena?”

With one last look at Blair, she grinned. “Never better. I’ll be out soon.”

*******

It seemed the clouds had opened up for the ceremony the way the golden light of the sun shone down on the cliffside and reflected off the glittering ocean. Time stood still although breezes still passed through to rustle the petals of the flowers and the white tulle that hung as ribbons over the seats and shades.

Harps echoed as Amahle waited at the wedding arch, her and Serena’s groomsmen by her side. Dan folded his hands, feeling his nerves act up standing in front of so many people. But then he looked up and saw Blair and the other bridesmaids make their way to the end of the aisle. She strode by him dressed in a silk, emerald dress that hung onto her body like a second skin. Her hair, bouncing in their old Hollywood curls, floated behind her. She gave him a small smirk, most likely aware of how amazing she looked, and held her bouquet close to her chest as she turned her attention elsewhere.

Then the guests stood as Serena came in, wearing an awesome pantsuit of all things, with Rufus linked over her arm. She joined hands with Amahle and the ceremony began. Dan didn’t remember much of it, having been distracted with Blair’s beauty and the way the wind blew her hair back, and the crimson color gracing her lips... but he was tuned back in at some point when Serena came to the conclusion of her vows.

“And I am so excited to have this baby--”

Gasps erupted from the audience. Dan could hear Nate whisper “oh shit” behind him. 

Amahle, tears in her eyes, clasped her hand over her mouth. “Are you serious?”

Serena grinned. “Yes! You’re going to be be a mom!”

Once it was established that this was indeed a good and intentional thing, not some creation of infidelity, the ceremony continued on as it normally would and they kissed for the first time ever as wives. Serena, his first love, the golden it-girl of the Upper Eastside was married to someone else. And Dan couldn’t be more proud of her. He would be made an uncle for the second time.

*******

The reception went into full swing. Champagne flowed faster than it could be poured and old and young people alike were pulling muscles on the dance floor. As the night went on, tears were shed and speeches were made. Blair watched fondly as her friends enjoyed the party when her _best_ friend came up behind her with a drink.

“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look yet?”

“Yes,” Blair giggled, adjusting Dan’s tie. “But tell me again.”

“You look gorgeous…” he murmured into her ear, kissing her jaw.

It was like they picked up just where they had left off.

“I would whisk you away into the nearest closet right now...but you have a toast to make.”

Blair gestured towards Serena who held a microphone in her hand and was waving frantically at Dan. He popped a small hor d'oeuvre between Blair’s teeth and winked. 

“You always forget to eat at parties.”

Glasses clinked as Dan came to the center of the dining table and stood in front of the happy couple. Blair could only hope he didn’t fall apart and start treating the toast as if it was stand-up. He was never the best at public speaking.

“Hello everyone! I hope you’re having a wonderful time. If you don’t know me already, I'm Serena’s step brother, Dan. That being said, I have no idea why she asked me to do this, so I’ll keep this short.” Quiet laughter began as Nate heckled him from his table, “whooping” loudly. “Thanks, Nate. Um, I’ve known Serena for a long time, even before my dad and my stepmother, Lily, got married, and she’s always been interested in one, vital thing; love, both receiving it and giving it. Now, we couldn’t have had any idea what “love” meant when we were young because, as you all know, teenagers are dumbasses. It’s an irrefutable fact. We thought love was a thing that could be managed, bottled up and kept away on the tallest shelf or in some poisonous package parading as cruelty and a level of hardship you “had” to go through. We convinced ourselves love had to be a complex uphill battle with interconnecting, winding roads. But, love, like most human emotions, is really quite simple.” Blair couldn’t tell if he was addressing the audience at all as Dan looked at her straight on. “Love is unyielding. It doesn’t pause or spoil, rotting away like something disposable. It evolves and changes but it never goes away. Love gives you a safe haven even if you’re miles away or across the world. Love sees and accepts you not in spite but _because_. And the most the selfless act is to let it go as long as you can and hope it finds you again.” Blinking away hot tears she didn’t know were running from her face, Blair watched in awe as Dan picked up his champagne flute. “And it’s certainly found Serena and Amahle. Let’s raise our glasses. To the happy couple!”

Applause, so loud it shook the tables, sounded across the pavilion as they all toasted. Serena and Amahle (teary eyed and red in the face) traveled from behind their posts to hug and kiss Dan. 

Following the cake cutting, Serena pulled Blair aside, frosting covering her nose.

“I have to tell you something.”

Blair laughed and handed her friend a napkin. “Tell me later S!”

“It can’t wait,” Serena took Blair’s hands in hers. “I... invited Dan. I _begged_ him to come just like I begged you.”

Taken aback, she frowned. “What? You said--”

“He’s your ‘good thing’ Blair, don't let him get away this time.” Serena kissed Blair’s cheek and joined Amahle for another dance.

Looking around, Dan was nowhere to be found. Hiking up her dress, Blair descended down onto the beach after asking around for him. Just on the shore there he was, his hands in his pockets, his bowtie undone and hanging off of his collar. Behind him, the sky was streaked with orange, blue and gold as the blazing sun set. Never one to be tamed, his curls blew in the wind, brilliant sunlight shining through it. Yes, he was definitely beautiful and he belonged with her.

***

Heels in hand, Blair ran towards him. In a chaotic sort of way, her hair and her dress was blown around by the wind to make her into a billowing piece of art. She was devastating and lovely.

“So you give an earth shattering toast and now you’re brooding on the beach? I’ll never understand you Humphrey.”

Sea salted water sprayed from the coming waves. Dan looked down. “You’re the only one who understands me Waldorf. Look--”

“I love you.”

Dan glanced up at her. He wasn’t sure if he had heard right. That’s why he hated the beach; the sand in your ears and the… “What?”

“I love you. Correction, I am _in_ love with you, so far in, I didn’t even realize I had fallen. I was in love with you when you stole that stapler from me at W, I was when I chose Chuck for the millionth time, I was when I saw you again on the roof with a cigarette hanging from your lips and those stupid loafers on your feet...and I am now. I never stopped. And it isn’t like any of the loves I’ve recycled so many times now. It isn’t an obsession. It’s the kind where I want to spend Sunday afternoons in bed with you, and talk to you at the end of every day, and debate art and culture with you to the point of exhaustion, and kiss you under every single street light, and love myself because you make it seem so easy. When you’re not around I’m not empty but I’m certainly not warm. I love you Daniel Humphrey. And I don’t want this to be a summer fling or a nice memory. I have had plenty of those. I want this to be _it_. I want this to be my one good thing.”

Pulling her close, Dan took Blair’s face in his hands and kissed her as if the world was ending. It may have been. Only stopping to catch his breath he said, “I love you too.”

“Really?” Blair asked, her eyes welled up with tears and her mouth curling into a smile.

“Of course. I’ve been in love with you before it was even cool,” Dan whispered, laughing. He was getting slightly misty eyed himself. He didn’t want to do what he was about to. “But...I-I can’t....”

All at once her face dropped. The world ended. “Why?”

“We live completely separate lives and I won’t ask you to sacrifice what you’ve built for yourself.”

“You can come into my world. I don’t understand--”

“It’s not just that. You deserve to find someone new who fits into who you are now. We said it ourselves, our fates couldn’t have been sealed in the eleventh grade. And I can’t pretend like I haven't idealized us just like I have everything else. It isn’t fair.

Something in Dan broke as he felt her back away and watched her lick her chapped lips.

“I’m so sorry, Blair. This month has been the best...”

Holding herself, Blair began to walk back up to the cliff side. Dan was left alone on the beach, tears staining his face.

***

Dan had left for the airport by the time Blair woke up that day. He had left a small letter on her bed but Blair ripped it up as soon as she saw it. He had spoken enough the night before and she wasn’t interested in any more excuses. She had put herself out on the line for him, for once, and look where it had gotten her.

As a few of the staff lugged away the last of her luggage, Blair stared out her window for one last time, saying a silent goodbye to Italy. Closing the shutters, she turned to see Serena standing in the doorway with Nate. She was already dressed for pregnancy in her too-big overalls; Blair was more and more convinced Serena needed more schooling, especially in matters of human anatomy. Nate peered into the wastebasket in the corner.

“Yeah, he left me a letter too,” Nate sniffed. “I’ll miss that man.”

Swatting at Nate, Serena laughed. “You’ll see him all the time. He's going to be Rosey’s godfather.”

Blair snorted. “What an awful choice.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be her godmother,” Nate chuckled, dodging the purse Blair threw at him. “She really likes you guys. Sorry if I can’t keep track of the ‘Dan and Blair saga’.”

Only being able to nod, Blair sat on a now bare mattress, placing her hands on her jeans. 

“I feel so stupid.”

Serena put an arm around Blair, rubbing her shoulder. “You’re not stupid. Men are stupid.”

Nate threw his head back. “Hey! We catch on eventually.”

“Sure,” Blair said, forcing a laugh. Crashing down onto the bed she was joined by Nate and Serena. They made an interesting trio, laying down, but they couldn’t ignore they’re history together, however messy it was then, it was pure and familial now. “Maybe Dan had the right idea. I’ll go out and find my own Amahle or Ines. Dating within a friend group got too weird.”

“Pfft, no kidding.” Nate mumbled.

They erupted into laughter until they could take no more. Serena turned to Blair. “Your world will keep expanding…that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for old friends.”

Blair took her friend’s hand. She was already getting a kick out of being the wise mother of their group. Perhaps she should’ve taken a page from Serena’s book; be more like her. The thought was more an amusing statement than a solid one. Blair was Blair and Serena was Serena, the two didn’t intertwine, they just stood side by side in case the other needed something to lean on.

***

Blair stood in the foyer, saying goodbye to all of the departing family and friends. She couldn’t imagine the house being empty, although it wouldn’t be for long, since Amahle was adamant on filling it with babies. Blair couldn’t wait to see that.

Ruffling Rosey’s hair, Blair gave Ines and Nate a long hug. She had grown more fond of their small family than she had meant to and now she would have to miss them. 

“Call me more, at least so I can see my niece,” she scolded, poking Nate in his stomach.

“Yeah, yeah. See you soon Blair,” Nate laughed, getting bags into the car outside and balancing Rosey in his arms.

“Good luck with those two. They’re a handful.”

Ines pulled Blair in. “Come to California soon. We’ll find you a nice, strong Mexican man.”

The couple took their leave and the only people left were Serena and Amahle. They stood by the stairs like they had and would be there forever, right in the heart of their new home.

“Keep in touch,” Serena said hoarsely, embracing Blair.

Closing her eyes, Blair swayed with Serena in their hug. “Are you serious? I’ll be requiring _daily_ updates on that baby cooking in your oven. We have a lot to teach them.”

Giggling, Serena stepped away and held Amahle’s hand. It was up to her to protect the blonde storm now.

“I’m only a call away.” Blair assured before going out to catch her town car.

As she pulled away from the Tuscan Estate, she couldn’t help but curse it and thank it. This had probably been her best summer vacation, while at the same time, being the worst one yet.

***


	13. We Do Make a Good Team

**XIII**

**“We Do Make a Good Team”**

**May, 2012**

“Alright now slowly...good...pull in here.”

Blair edged Rufus’ car into a spot in Brooklyn Heights. Driving lessons with Dan were going well, if she ignored the curb she had just clipped due to the distraction of a very cute dog. Carefully shutting off the car, so Dan couldn’t give her the third degree again about gas prices in America, Blair turned in her seat.

“What now?”

Opening his door, Dan jerked his head off to the right. “We’ll practice more later. I want to show you something.”

Perplexed, and not recalling a grand plan for a date in a random neighborhood, Blair made her way around the car, taking Dan’s outstretched hand. Picking her up over a puddle, Dan ushered Blair along the sidewalk until they came to the tallest brownstone she had ever seen. Vines grew over the broad, bay windows and it’s mint, green door hung open in a splintered mess. The house, however beautiful it could be, was made sad and sideways by its abandonment. It seemed no one, in the entire prim and proper looking neighborhood, had come to claim it or at least clean it up.

Her hand still in his, Blair glanced at Dan. “Do you expect me to go in there? I can smell the asbestos from out here!”

“Yesterday you said you wanted to know me better.”

This was somewhat true. He had caught Blair browsing through his drawers in the middle of the night, wearing nothing but socks and his ratty Brooklyn sweatshirt.

“Do I have to do that in a crack den?”

Pulling Blair in despite her best efforts, Dan laughed. “Don’t worry Waldorf. I’ll protect you from the asbestos...and the raccoons.”

“ _Raccoons_?!”

Stepping inside, Blair was wafted with the smell of rotting wood and some sort of paper mache. Carefully hopping over puddles of stale water and crunchy leaves, she looked around the main hallway. It was likely an extravagant house once; with a spiral staircase leading up to the other four stories and stained glass windows placed at each corner. If you stood just at the center of the wooden floor in the foyer, and craned your neck upwards, you could see right up to the roof through a maze of staircases. Blair couldn’t help but be charmed by the old building, even if it was dingy and unkempt.

“You like it?”

“I _like_ central heating and clean floors.”

“Ok, ok fair enough,” Dan backed further into one of the rooms, what looked to be a kitchen. “But, if you look past all of its shortcomings, do you like it?”

“It has potential I suppose. Are you in the market Humphrey?”

“No, I couldn’t afford this right now, or maybe ever. This um,” he seemed to struggle to speak, a problem he almost never had, “this is the place all of my friends from middle school used to hang out. It was like a treehouse of sorts, there’s literally a tree growing around the back, and then it was where I figured out I wanted to be a writer, reading Hemmingway in the attic. I had my first kiss here and first cigarette, which I found disgusting.”

“Good.”

“Before my mom left, my dad bought this house. There’s places on the walls we painted in anticipation of moving in, but we couldn’t afford the mortgage so we settled for the loft. It was lucky we still had that.”

“Fascinating. But why are you telling me all this now?”

“You don’t need to sneak around or hatch a scheme to get the ‘core of Dan Humphrey’. All you have to do is ask.”

“Okay,” Blair pulled away and spun about the room, “if you are ever able to afford this, I would definitely knock out that wall.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes. I would replace it with a bar and I would replace all the doors with something sturdier, but I would keep the stained-glass windows. The light it lets in in the morning must be rainbow-colored.”

“Well if you’re around a few years from now, you’re the first person I’ll consult with.”

Throwing her arms around Dan’s neck, Blair grinned, her glossed lips curving upwards. “You want me around in the future? Am I a permanent fixture?”

“If you want, yeah, but 'future’ sounds so scary.” Dan kissed Blair’s cheek, sliding over to her lips. “Let’s just say I’ll see you later Waldorf.”

“See you later...I like that Humphrey.”

***

**Present**

With his legs propped up on his desk, Dan threw an apple in and out of his hand. He had gotten good at catching it instead of eating it, and the action was far more therapeutic than staring at his computer mindlessly, which is what he had done for the day. After his think-piece on meditation surrounding marriage and kids, something heavily inspired by his time in Tuscany, publishers were flocking him left and right asking when he would write a “full version”. He wasn’t sure what they all meant by that since his recent work was meant to be a short collection of reflective essays intertwined with flash fiction. Perhaps they didn’t like the short and abrupt ending. He didn’t either.

As he turned to catch a glimpse of the rain beginning to fall, Dan’s editor, Oliver, came in. He might’ve had a little crush on Dan, but the jury was still out on that.

“I’m heading home. It’s getting bad out there.”

Dan finally bit into his apple and nodded. “See you tomorrow.”

“It’s like we’re living in the end of Breakfast at Tiffany’s or a love song, the rain is so romantic” Oliver sang back, before rushing off to pack up his things.

Dan rubbed his temples. He didn’t feel like he was living amidst a love song. He felt he was stuck in some Pixies song, the sore notes of an electric guitar reverberating constantly in the back of his head. As autumn drew to a close, he felt the full depth of his loneliness. Sure, there were the pub crawls with friends, late work nights, book parties, and meetings to mask the lack of connection Dan felt, but the holidays erased all of that as people went away to visit family and friends and loved ones.

Dan reminded himself that he had done the right thing. He and Blair had never gotten their timing right and that was okay. Dan was finally getting used to the fact that he might not be destined for some grand romance. The ending to his story would be tied up clumsily and tucked into some bullshit about “endgames” and mundane ethics. Anyway, it was the right thing to do.

“Oh, by the way,” Oliver poked his head through Dan’s office door again. “You’ve got mail. Sorry you didn’t get it sooner. The mailroom is obsolete at this point with technology and stuff.”

Mumbling a “thanks”, Dan took the manila package from Oliver and sat back down as the man left for the last time. Slumping back into his desk chair, he cut the envelope open and dumped out it’s contents. Piece of papers; photos, fell out and at the bottom was a single purple sheet, distinct from the rest. It was from Serena. Dan was concerned his step-sister had become too invested in mailing things. She could just shoot him a text and save herself the time.

The letter wasn’t long like the first one he got from her. It simply read:

You left your cameras here, so I decided to develop some of the pictures. Some of these are years old and I got nostalgic, so I included a few of my own. I’m only going to say this once Dan. Not for convenience, not as a rebound, not for nothing; it's _always_ been Blair. 

Don’t be a dumbass.

-love, S

His finger drew out wet ink as he ran his thumb over “Blair” and he smiled. Dan wasn’t sure if he liked Serena calling him a dumbass, even if he was one, but it amused him. Taking a deep breath, he began to flip over the pictures, examining each as if it was it’s own piece of art.

The first one was filled to the brim with snarls and no doubt snarky comments; Dan and Blair seemingly having intense conversation by the steps of their high school and Blair pulling him along by the ear. Dan almost laughed out loud when he pulled a different photo forward and revealed Blair in her black, leather “espionage” outfit, sneering at him behind the camera. In another, she was smacking him away as she tied on a headscarf, and just after that, two more photos from their Brooklyn Holiday materialized. In one they stood in the dress shop, Dan completely distracted by Blair’s new, shiny threads, and in the other, she was perched on his back as they ran down the boardwalk, holding on for dear life, an open-mouth grin on both of their faces. In photos Dan didn’t even remember having taken, Blair was always by his side or near him, one of them gazing at the other. And whether it was a harsh or wistful memory, it seemed Dan always had some kind of smirk or smile on his face, Blair did too. 

He landed on the last photo in the pile. It wasn’t extravagant or particularly well-shot. It only showed Dan and Blair on the day of Serena’s wedding. Blair, always so still and stern in professional photos, was moving about and laughed in Dan’s arms as he held a glass of champagne in his right hand and held her close with his left to give her a big smooch on the cheek. The picture was the kind one would put in a frame or above a fireplace, proud for people to see and ask where it was taken. Perfunctory; in the way he held her and wanted to, in the way he would hold her a thousand times more.

***

In the tallest brownstone in Brooklyn Heights, with a mint, green door and stained-glass windows at every corner Blair rushed about, delivering drinks and conversation topics to her co-workers. It was imperative they impressed their potential investors with croissants and all lavish, brunch delicacies if they were to get the new and improved Waldorf Designs up and running by Christmas. Picking up after them was tedious, Dorota hadn’t been much help since her third kid and Blair’s cross into adulthood wasn’t sufficient, but with the help of Maya things were only half-hurricane instead of full.

With just a brief moment to herself, Blair lingered by the sink and took a small sip of water. The chatter had become consuming and she needed a proper get away. Looking out of the kitchen window, she watched as golden leaves slowly fell to the ground, orange sunlight dancing through them. Nothing could beat autumn in New York. She knew that more than ever now.

Over the quiet bossa nova music, the brass knocker banged against the door.

“Maya, would you get that?”

Apologetically, Maya looked over, it seemed she was cornered.

Another three bangs.

Annoyed, Blair stretched and journeyed through the party to her front door. When she opened it, Dan stood before her with a bouquet of her favorite flowers.

***

He was positive it was bad idea to get on a plane in the middle of a work week, fly to New York, and show up on Blair’s doorstep (especially since he wasn’t sure where she lived), but some of the best things in his life had been born out of “bad ideas” and, without Blair, Dan realized he didn’t have much to lose.

As he got closer to the vague address Nate had texted him, accompanied with a slew of happy face emojis, he was surprised to recognize the neighborhood like the back of his hand. He hadn’t been back to New York in a long time, the city only screaming reminders of Blair, but he would always know Brooklyn Heights at just a glimpse. Or so he thought, because as he climbed the stairs of the house with the mint, green door, the one he used to fantasize about growing old in, he could’ve sworn he was standing before a newly renovated mansion. It was clean now and didn’t smell of musty ceilings and water stains. 

Quickly trying to wipe away the crust of an eight hour flight from his face, Dan inhaled, and pounded the knocker against the door. Part of him hoped it was the wrong house. The better half of him hoped it was the right one.

***

She slammed the door in his face.

Blair wasn’t ready to see him again; wasn’t ready to dive into the pools of her own hurt. How was he even there? How did he know she lived in this house? Nate, Blair thought with rage as she travelled back to the kitchen for a glass, no, a bottle, of wine. Maya peaked behind the chiffon curtains by the door and grinned. She skipped over to Blair.

“Is that _him_?” she screamed in a whisper as to not interrupt the chatting hens in the living room.

“Yes,” Blair struggled with the cork of the bottle, “is he still out there?”

Maya ran back to the window. “Yep. Oh--he’s leaving. Now he’s coming back! Nope he’s gone again. Aw, he’s talking to himself. Now he’s screaming at the sky. I can tell why you picked this one. You two have the same mental disorders right? He’s gone again.”

“Stop being a smartass and go butter up investors.”

Huffing, Maya abandoned her post by the window. “Yes, _mom_.” Just before she went, she grinned. “If you ask me, he’s at least worth listening to.”

Blair pursed her lips and scrunched her nose. “Stupid Humphrey…”

***

Of course she would slam the door in his face. Why did he think she would do otherwise after she had poured out her heart and soul to him and received little to nothing in return? Dan almost reminded himself of Chuck the way he had expected Blair to wait for him or greet him with open arms. He was some sorry excuse for a “knight in shining armor”. She was better off without him, his first theory had been proven.

Continuing down the sidewalk Dan went to cross the street when he heard the wind carry a voice. Standing in the middle of the road was Blair, in a white coat, the autumn wind turning her nose red and brushing through her hair.

“Brooklyn’s been doing well without you, huh?”

Dan scoffed. He couldn’t believe she had followed him out. “You stole my dream house and that’s all you have to say?”

“It had nothing to do with you.”

Doing his best to swallow away his smile, Dan nodded. “You used to call this place a petri dish and now you’re living in it. But believe what you want.”

“I’m serious Humphrey. I happen to like Brooklyn a lot better without you in it. There’s more space and I like having a little backyard...and I’m a regular at Jamar’s restaurant...”

Her remarks went right over his head. “You bought _the_ house.”

Kicking some gravel away with her boot, Blair crossed her arms. “What are you doing here Dan? I’m sure we’d have just as much awkward conversation at Rosey’s christening.”

“Um…” once again his friend, ‘words’, were alluding to him.

“Dan, you can’t just show up at my house when I’m in the middle of a work thing and demand my attention.”

“I know.”

“This isn’t fair. You’re the one who said we should go our separate ways, and I am trying to do that. But now you’re here, and you look like you haven’t slept since September, and you’re wearing the blue coat I got you years ago. And now I’ll have to miss you all over again. Is this revenge on the high school mean girl? Because I think it’s an overdone and macabre trope.”

“I was wrong.” Dan whispered. And then shouted, “and it probably isn’t the first time!”

Shifting her weight, she exhaled. “No, it isn’t.”

Dan stepped closer, braving the five feet of space between them. “You are courageous, and kind, and way smarter than me, and I was just grateful you wanted me as a rebound, even more when I turned into a boyfriend. I never thought the gorgeous girl who wrestled me on the floor of a W party, and kicked my books over in the hallways, and tackled me into the mud during a supposedly peaceful soccer game could be... the love of my life.”

Blair looked up when he spoke his last sentence. The wind whipped through her magenta skirt as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She continued to be quiet and Dan worried he had said too much too soon.

“Obviously, you haven’t seen a single romantic comedy,” Blair finally chuckled, committing to her snark.

Dan smiled. “So that was your version of pulling my pigtails on the playground?”

“Precisely.” She shrugged.

“I really do love you Blair Waldorf.”

Blair was quiet for a moment, seeming to search his eyes for something. A glimmer of hope slipped itself into her own.

“Prove it.”

Laughing, Dan ran to Blair and swept her off her feet. As they spun in the air they kissed. Dan could feel her heartbeat, the red in her cheeks, and the satisfied smile on her lips as they crashed into each other. He knew, without a doubt in his mind, that he was where he was meant to be.

When they finally broke apart, Blair sighed into his chest. “Care to come inside? I have friends over.”

“Do you think they’ll like me?”

“They’ll most definitely _hate_ you. That's why I’m inviting you in.”

Taking her hand in his, he kissed them, and pulled Blair along. 

“With you on my arm I can handle anything.”

“Hm.” Blair bit her lip and grinned. “We do make a good team.”


	14. Long Story Short

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I highly recommend listening to the Taylor Swift song I named this after beforehand. The entirety of her last two albums heavily apply to this series to be honest.  
> Thank you so much for reading this far, I hope you enjoyed it!

**Part XIV**

**“Long Story Short”**

Although Dan’s split decision to pack up and head to New York makes things complicated, it does not make things impossible. By Christmas, after two trips back and forth between two cities, Blair and Dan reunite in the cheesiest of ways as it snows. Somehow, they’ve become okay with being cheesy and cliché, however much Blair wants to deem cliché the new “classic”. 

Dan quits the literary magazine back in London and moves on to journalism, deciding he actually likes to see how a whole unlocked half of the city lives. He still writes, his next novel set to come out in the spring, and he plans to dedicate it to Blair, his "one true muse and best, damn critic", but he doesn’t tell her until the book is released because she has enough ego for the both of them. A thing he happens to love.

A consequence of being in the limelight of corporate New York is being watched by blogs and magazines. But they don’t care. They want to change the narrative, and not be so entrenched in the inauthentic slush of scandal and gossip. They still attend the galas and balls if they stand it, but their best work is done in pajamas and in secret as they send out money to charities and organizations, and events. Waldorf Designs lead the fashion industry in safe and sustainable production even when it requires them to roll up their sleeves and head to the dirtiest and roughest parts of the world. Blair helps build a youth design center within the neighborhood later that year, which she allows Jenny to run when she’s away, as Dan puts it, "saving the world one thread at a time". Their favorite activity, the one they do together the most, is volunteering at the bookstore and reading to the kids. Dan gets foggy-eyed and Blair pokes at him, reminding him they’re not ready for kids. Dan agrees, even though he’s starting to change his tune.

They get married not long after; twice. The first time, it’s small, like a simple step in the right direction. As they lay in bed, the windows open to conserve energy and let in a nice breeze, Dan lets the question slip from his lips, knowing it would scare the both of them, and doing it anyway because he can’t imagine a life with anyone else and that they are indeed the exception. Blair nods yes and they get married at city hall the next day, Dan in his leftover work clothes (a simple button up and blue slacks) and Blair in a ruffled, pink, sundress, a ridiculous ribbon falling from her pinup. They have a man take their picture on the steps of the Met as the sun sets, happier than they thought possible. For once, Dan’s right. Vintage, in this case, is better. They hang the photo with the others above their brick fireplace, along with a painting they hope is hilariously abstract enough to confuse their guests. A year later, when they’ve been together for long enough, Dan proposes again, this time around family and friends with a big swing band, and diamonds, and champagne. Blair pretends like she’s above it all, but it’s what her dreams are made of and this time it’s on her own terms. They have a wedding in an old chapel in Greece, despite both of them establishing how very unreligious they are now. On the big day, they’re so eager to see each other that they miss the first half of the ceremony hooking up and arguing over a new book they’ve read. Blair finds out she’s pregnant a month later, and nine months after that, they name their first daughter Ann, Nénette Humphrey. They call her “Princess Ann” when she’s being especially cute, and Blair calls her “Humphrey” when she’s especially rotten. Their packs of cigarettes, that had seemed like a staple in their life, are flushed down the toilet and thrown in the trash. There are no longer any outs that need to be taken. They know they want to be around for a long time.

Two more years after, Dan leans against the doorway of Ann’s bedroom as Blair tucks her in. Minutes later, in the living room, they decide to adopt another baby because they’ve got an over-abundance of love and Blair wants a boy.

They still argue, and bicker, and brawl, but there is only humor and fun tapped onto the end of it; never disrespect. At the end of a fight there’s never bruises or bad words; just the realization that they were going to get through it no matter what and a short laugh or a lengthy night of sex. 

The two take frequent trips to California and Italy, so their kids are never strangers to the beaches, the sun, nature and their cousins, which there is now a large inventory of since Dan and Blair's blended extended family grew and grows so much.

People, old and young, rich and poor, have folders of opinions on them. They still ask them questions and are fascinated by the relationship the “Queen B” of the Upper East Side and the Lonely Boy “Pauper” have. Usually, the couple can meet the interrogation with sly smiles and vague answers. However, the most recent question has befuddled them. People ask them, “how did you two meet? Was it love at first sight?” And although they can just respond “in school”, they still wonder themselves. In their minds, they’ve met too many times to count, being different and simultaneously the same versions of Blair and Dan in each moment. They try to make up stories from bits and pieces of memories; “we met in an unfortunate taxi cab accident” or, as Blair as snidely says, “he had the hots for my best friend”. That would do for now.

But, on a lazy Saturday afternoon, the kids cuddled against them on the couch, they remember.

***

**March, 2006**

Dan rubbed the back of his neck. What emerged when he took his hand away was a spitball. Cool, he thought, the Ivy League apes are bored again. Taking his stack of books elsewhere, he searched for another available table in the library. For some reason, a conspiracy filled one, his classmates had suddenly decided it was time to study. Finals would be an even bigger bitch than he presumed. 

Deciding to just check out his books, the loft would be more peaceful, Dan continued on to the counter when he passed a girl. He thought he might’ve seen her once or twice in passing but not like he was seeing her now; basked in the light of a nearby window and wiping streaming mascara off her face over Trigonometry notes. The notes were stained with dark, cloudy droplets. He remembered that class, it was awful even for the best of students, especially if she had Mr. Shawburn. Setting his books on the table, he sat across the table from the girl. He was not one to usually do this, but something came over him, perhaps a death wish.

“If you carry the cosign you’ll get the solution faster.”

The girl didn’t look up. She only wiped her nose with the back of her hand and started to scribble numbers down. Dan handed her the napkin in his pocket and she blew her nose.

Instead of a thank you, she picked up the book on the top of Dan’s pile and turned it over, lightning running her fingers over the pages. Her chestnut hair hung in fat curls over her face and an indent lay at the crown of her head like she had just taken off a headband that had been there for days.

“I hate Hemmingway.”

“What?!”

It seemed she had stopped crying. “The standard for writing today has exponentially increased.”

“I bet you haven’t even read it,” Dan muttered, taking the book back and trying his best to protect the only male author he had felt a connection with.

“Actually, I did. Twice. There’s no excuse for misogynistic, unfinished, female characters anymore. We live in the 21st century.”

Dan hadn’t considered that. He adjusted his tie, feeling slightly inadequate sitting with the girl before him. In a school filled with dress code-breakers she was the only one dressed prim and proper, with the exception of her red stockings.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she snapped quickly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Okay people aren’t usually sobbing over math equations. But who am I to judge? I’m probably going to go rip my hair out to Weezer while doing Johnson’s history project.”

She laughed, soft and almost unrecognizable at first, and then melodic and loud.

“Good luck to you.”

“Yeah, you too.”

He wanted to ask her what her name was, move the mess of hair from her face, and stay there debating about Hemmingway like no one else had wanted to do with him before, but Dan just picked up his books and left the library. Something funny happened to him that day. He had the strangest feeling, right in the pit of his stomach, that he might just see the girl again.

Dan did, and he would.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first, and probably last, fanfiction. I respect and highly regard the medium but it takes stamina and dedication that I don't have. I just needed to write this because I cannot get over the absolute fuck up the writers of this show performed when they ripped Dan and Blair apart, not even letting them be friends. Their arch was, in a technical and artistic sense, perfect until they broke up.  
> Anyway, I appreciate constructive criticism and comments (please excuse any grammatical errors, this was a beast to edit lol)! Thank you for reading this! It took blood, sweat, and tears:)


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